# Could you date/marry someone who has had hundreds of sexual partners? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 8, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124 "2009-06-08T18:29:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/1 "2009-06-08T18:29:41Z")
Inspired by, and recommended by, **Sklad** and his thread… My answer was I would be very hesitant, but if I love her than I love her. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/2 "2009-06-08T18:32:26Z")
I saw Pretty Woman and even got skeeved out from that. No thanks for me. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/3 "2009-06-08T18:34:26Z")
No. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/4 "2009-06-08T18:37:32Z")
No. I’d feel too insecure on many levels. ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/5 "2009-06-08T18:39:27Z")
Sure, I’m living with someone now who has. I think perhaps it would depend on the circumstances, but my love was in art school in Boston in the 1970s. He took full advantage of the situation, after which was married 20 years and did not return to his former pastime after his divorce. If fact, I had to work harder to get the boy in bed than I’d ever had with any previous partner, so I think it’s safe to say that his sleeping around days are well over. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/6 "2009-06-08T18:41:23Z")
If they were honest about it, and a clear from a doctor on STD’s… sure. But from that point, it would be dating. A LTR would need heavy thought though. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/7 "2009-06-08T18:44:08Z")
Yeah, prolly. I’ve dated a number of women who’ve had more partners than I have, and I’ve dated a few women while one or both of us were still sleeping with other people. I’m not too hung up or insecure in that area, I guess. I can see a sitch or two where it would be kind of off-putting tho, like if she had just let 400 guys pull a Jennatrain last week, I might not want to go there at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/8 "2009-06-08T18:48:30Z")
Er, assuming the more prosaic concerns (i.e. things they don’t have a cure or an ointment for, yet) aren’t the issue, here? Well, at the worst, my thinking would be “she might be more willing to leave or cheat on me, for motivations that most people, including me, might find insufficient.” At best…“wow, she’s had hundreds of different sexual partners…and _I’m_ the one she wants to marry? I must be _awesome!_ Even if I’m not the best in _bed_, I’m _still_ doing something better than all the others did!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/9 "2009-06-08T19:05:41Z")
If it was a case as Kalypso describes … where it was all in the distant past, maybe. If it was up until and perhaps including the time he was with me … prolly not. I’m not prudish and have had my share of short-term, lusty relationships. Still, when you are talking about _hundreds_ – you’re perhaps talking about someone who doesn’t quite see women as full, real people, but as things to fuck. Even if he were interested enough in me to see me regularly, it would take a lot of convincing for him to show me he could fully connect and engage beyond bedroom gymnastics. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/10 "2009-06-08T19:06:18Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > Inspired by, and recommended by, **Sklad** and his thread… > > My answer was I would be very hesitant, but if I love her than I love her. Who’s Sklad? Does he speaking in anapestic tetrameter, by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/11 "2009-06-08T19:33:23Z")
It would definitely depend on his age, and whether they were all safe, consensual, unpaid partners. I’d certainly have a long, hard look at those STD and AIDS test results before going past second base. And I guess part of me would feel the need to tell him to hold on a few months while I catch up. But as long as he didn’t feel like his experience made my input into our sex life any less valid, it’d be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/12 "2009-06-08T19:34:43Z")
It wouldn’t occur to me to ask how many sexual partners someone had before me, much less care. As long as there’ s no diseases or kids as a result that is. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/13 "2009-06-08T19:43:28Z")
> [@Kalypso](#): > > If fact, I had to work harder to get the boy in bed than I’d ever had with any previous partner, so I think it’s safe to say that his sleeping around days are well over. What? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/14 "2009-06-08T19:51:58Z")
I HAVE dated people who have had hundreds of sexual partners. Never married any though. I once annoyed a girl I was dating when I talked about the commercial for AIDS where it says you are sleeping with everyone they’ve ever slept with. I extrapolated it as though everyone she slept with had slept with several people and everyone they had slept with… and so on, so by her couple of dozen I’d slept with over 100,000 people. She didn’t like that. Later on in life I slept with a few girls who had had hundreds of partners, so I’m in the millions now. 😉 Hell, I bet some of you have slept with me by that metric. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/15 "2009-06-08T19:57:25Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > I HAVE dated people who have had hundreds of sexual partners. Never married any though. > > I once annoyed a girl I was dating when I talked about the commercial for AIDS where it says you are sleeping with everyone they’ve ever slept with. I extrapolated it as though everyone she slept with had slept with several people and everyone they had slept with… and so on, so by her couple of dozen I’d slept with over 100,000 people. She didn’t like that. Later on in life I slept with a few girls who had had hundreds of partners, so I’m in the millions now. 😉 > > Hell, I bet some of you have slept with me by that metric. 😉 What a way to break the ice…How YOU doin? By Kevin Bacon’s estimation, we’ve already fucked! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/16 "2009-06-08T20:08:36Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Hell, I bet some of you have slept with me by that metric. 😉 You’ve probably also committed incest and broken pretty much every American sodomy law on the books, all by association. What the hell, the more the merrier, right? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/17 "2009-06-08T21:50:52Z")
I’m 42, so someone my age who’s been around a few blocks isn’t as unlikely as if I was 22. And I know several people who have gone round the block enough time to make the block feel dizzy, but when they found what they’d been looking for, they settled rock-solid. So by itself it wouldn’t be a problem, no. It _would_ be a problem if he expected me to be “his and only his” while he kept on running, mind you. ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/18 "2009-06-08T22:04:51Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > And I know several people who have gone round the block enough time to make the block feel dizzy, but when they found what they’d been looking for, they settled rock-solid. My girlfriend and I are both 53, and both of us were, um, _very active_, in our twenties. Now I’m the very lucky beneficiary of her experience. Sometimes when you look at where someone is today you realize how unimportant their past is. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/19 "2009-06-08T22:26:43Z")
highly unlikely. Aside from the near 100% probability of an STD it sounds like an addict to me. Every time I wanted to visit a new city I’d cringe hearing the words “been there, done that”. ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/20 "2009-06-08T22:41:15Z")
No, alas, in my state I’m not allowed to marry no matter how many partners he’s had. Could I date someone? Sure, why not? You’d think after that much sex, he’d have figured out a trick or two make it more exciting for me. But I think your question is a bit imprecise. Hundreds? Like 32,000? That’s only a matter of many hundreds. Or are we talking about 200? Of course, I’d be more interested in why he’s got a counted out list than the number of people on the list. I think that would counsel my decision more than the sheer number. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124.md?page=2)