# Could you date/marry someone who has had hundreds of sexual partners? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 8, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124 "2009-06-08T18:29:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dusty\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba8739/32.png) [@Dusty\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty_Rose)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/21 "2009-06-08T22:54:57Z")
Sure. Why not? As long as there’s no STD’s, I’d be fine with that. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/22 "2009-06-08T23:13:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Who’s Sklad? > > Does he speaking in anapestic tetrameter, by any chance? Ah shit. Sorry ☹ ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/23 "2009-06-08T23:13:31Z")
I don’t know about hundreds, but an ex of mine claimed to have had “many”. I never asked for a specific count, so I don’t know how many “many” really was, but it never bothered me. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/24 "2009-06-08T23:17:15Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > Ah shit. > Sorry ☹ I wasn’t offeded. It gave the chance to make a cheap joke! ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/25 "2009-06-08T23:23:16Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > What? I’m sorry, there was an uncaught typo in there. What I meant was that my love wasn’t inclined to fall right into bed with me (at the time I was looking for a sex partner, not a relationship, so sue me). I think that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. You boys are usually so easy, I was perplexed and intrigued. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/26 "2009-06-08T23:32:47Z")
_Hundreds?_ That’s a real people person, eh? As far as I’m concerned, the past is past, although for _hundreds_ I’d be concerned enough to listen more closely. For me, it’s not so much the number as the context. How many of her partners were the results of drunken flings (ups the risk for STD’s and unplanned children), how many were behind her SO’s back (Oh dear), and how many were revenge fucks after he found out about it and dumped her(Jesus Christ, just dump her like last week’s trash!)? I’d rather take a chance with a woman who had a lot of partners–say _dozens_–and it was all in fun, and no one got hurt than a woman who had five partners, four of whom she fucked to get back at the first. Still, if you’ve had _hundreds_ of partners, and you grew up in the 80’s, rather than the 60’s or 70’s, welllllll . . . At the very least, it shows recklessness. That goes beyond having fun. You’re basically playing Russian roulette with moderately good-looking naked people instead of bullets. I’m no prude, and I’m no saint, but that screams “Hello, I like you, and I’ve got _issues!!_” One hundred? Fine. But _hundreds_, as in multiple hundreds? I think I’ll just stick to a conversation and cup of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Racer1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@Racer1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Racer1)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/27 "2009-06-08T23:35:33Z")
As long as she didn’t keep their shrunken heads in jars on the shelf or anything, I think I’d be fine with it. I’ve never really asked a girl about past relationships. I figure it’s none of my business what someone did before they were with me, as long as they are clean and only doing with me while we’re together (lesbian alien threesomes not withstanding). [QUOTE=Kalypso] You boys are usually so easy, I was perplexed and intrigued. [/QUOTE] Yikes, I misread that as “perspexed” for some reason, and was halfway to Youtube to look up what kind of perversions you can carry out with plastic sheets. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2009, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/28 "2009-06-08T23:57:22Z")
Sure. I’d be a hypocrite if I wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/29 "2009-06-09T00:03:53Z")
Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/30 "2009-06-09T00:27:20Z")
> [@Kalypso](#): > > I’m sorry, there was an uncaught typo in there. > > What I meant was that my love wasn’t inclined to fall right into bed with me (at the time I was looking for a sex partner, not a relationship, so sue me). I think that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. You boys are usually so easy, I was perplexed and intrigued. Maybe it just means he didn’t find you very attractive. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/31 "2009-06-09T00:35:48Z")
> [@Racer1](#): > > Yikes, I misread that as “perspexed” for some reason, and was halfway to Youtube to look up what kind of perversions you can carry out with plastic sheets. 🙂 A very mild hijack, if you will? You can carry out many and varied perversions actually. Fetish store JT’s Stockroom (beautiful site, incredibly NSFW) carries PVC sheet sets. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/32 "2009-06-09T00:40:02Z")
Well, I have before, so I guess that makes my answer a yes…although I was never feeling very good about it. I also never told her about how I really felt about it, but it didn’t matter in the long run, because (as I also predicted would someday happen) she moved on and found someone else. And then someone else after that… ETA: She claimed she slept with at least 140 people so far…this is a girl who is my age, so 30. She wasn’t a hooker either, she said she merely used to party a lot and be a wild girl in her younger days. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/33 "2009-06-09T02:26:34Z")
No. The STD issue would be a big concern, but most of all, I just don’t think I would be compatible with someone whose approach to sex was like that. That’s pretty different from my lifestyle and viewpoint. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/34 "2009-06-09T02:36:36Z")
She’d have to be really really special, because in my mind, somebody who has had many, many partners probably has one or more of the following issues: 1. Has very low standards. 2. Is not interested in a long term relationship. 3. Is a slut I’d be extremely hesitant because otherwise I’d continually expect her to want to jump into bed with the next guy she really, really likes…which could be the next guy who so much as winks at her, for all I know. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/35 "2009-06-09T03:03:23Z")
I am all about sexual freedom, as well as every other kind of freedom, so who cares how many partners a person has had. That said, I find sex very, very _intimate._ I mean, one has to really open one’s self up to another person to really get the good lovin’ going. Most times I have had sex in my life, even when it has been from a purely physical standpoint, it has felt very personal and intimate, to the point that I almost always end up with the person again, even if it is in a purely sexual way. To open yourself up hundreds of times to hundreds of people so fully does seem a bit _odd_ to me, but not a deal breaker by any means. > [@HPL](#): > > She’d have to be really really special, because in my mind, somebody who has had many, many partners probably has one or more of the following issues: > > 1. Has very low standards. A female can have sex thousands of times and maintain the highest standards. If we are talking purely sex, even an average women can bed doctors, models, the hottest guy at the bar, the nice guy, the sweet guy, the smart guy, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Starring\_Emma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Starring\_Emma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starring_Emma)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/36 "2009-06-09T03:14:14Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > Inspired by, and recommended by, **Sklad** and his thread… > > My answer was I would be very hesitant, but if I love her than I love her. No… it would be best if we were both virgins. Although I don’t think many guys stay virgins very long after their teen age years. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/37 "2009-06-09T09:17:45Z")
> [@](#): > > you’re perhaps talking about someone who doesn’t quite see women as full, real people, but as things to fuck. Even if he were interested enough in me to see me regularly, it would take a lot of convincing for him to show me he could fully connect and engage beyond bedroom gymnastics. Yes, yes yes. We can yammer on and on about how we shouldn’t be so uptight about sex, but the fact of the matter is that the gross majority of very sexually free people tend to be rather messed up emotionally. I’m not saying it DOESN’T happen…but it seems like a lot of people who sleep around have very crappy self esteem, see women or men as basicly breathing sex toys, or don’t have emotional connections to people. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/38 "2009-06-09T09:51:18Z")
Hundreds??? No. I don’t even like the idea of “dozens.” Unless you’re Hefner, there’s no realistic world in which you have screwed hundreds of people. I’m sure it happens, but I don’t wanna meet/screw the person who has done it. Call me crazy, but if you’ve screwed over a hundred people, there’s simply something wrong with the way your brain is wired. You don’t lead a lifestyle that I can jive with, and what is important to you is clearly not what is important to me. Maybe that’s lame and judgmental and narrow-minded, but…seriously?? HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE?? You’re clearly looking for something you can’t find. And I’m not it. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/39 "2009-06-09T10:33:22Z")
Dating ? I could. I have. It was interesting while it lasted. I vaguely hoped it would last longer, but didn’t expect it. Marriage ? Dunno. I never considered marrying. But if we assume “marrying” to mean “in a long term exclusive relationship”… Sure, why not ? If I love and trust her, I love and trust her. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2009, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124/40 "2009-06-09T11:15:32Z")
> [@Starring\_Emma](#): > > Although I don’t think many guys stay virgins very long after their teen age years. Well, not by _choice_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-date-marry-someone-who-has-had-hundreds-of-sexual-partners/499124.md?page=3)