# Could You Disarm Your Dog With A Hamburger? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 9, 2012, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912 "2012-01-09T11:33:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![brocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@brocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brocks)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/41 "2012-01-09T20:02:22Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > So even though in your opinion you’re just giving the dog a treat to shut it up, in their mind they’re being rewarded for barking at you. The fact is, the dogs who have come to expect a treat DON’T bark at me any more. If that’s not what their owners want, too bad, but I’ll bet it’s what everybody else wants. ---
**Author:** ![brocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@brocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brocks)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/42 "2012-01-09T20:07:59Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > I know lots and lots of extremely well-trained dogs, and many of them are let out into yards, where they will - as dogs do - sometimes bark and run the fence. I think you’re making some rather wild assumptions. Obviously a dog that is chained, or in a yard 24/7 and bored out of its skull, is most likely untrained and neglected. But just a: being in a yard unattended while you walk by and b: barking at you doesn’t necessarily mean that c: it is untrained. It certainly isn’t trained not to bark at people. If I live to be a thousand, I will never understand how dog owners think it’s fine for their dog to bark all day. How would you like it if your neighbor set up big speakers in his front (or back, for that matter) yard, and had them blaring music (pick any genre that you hate) all day? And if you happened to be trying to sleep, would it really matter if it wasn’t constant, but just every five minutes or so? What possible warning value can a dog be if it barks every time a car door slams a block away? Now move the speakers right up to the front fence just a foot or two from the sidewalk, have exposed wires on them so that any children who touch them out of curiosity get shocked, and have them rigged to explode once in a while. If you are a responsible dog owner, them I’m not talking about you. But there are plenty who aren’t. I’d say maybe half. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/43 "2012-01-09T20:11:56Z")
Hamburger isn’t even necessary. The dogs (golden retrievers) I grew up with could be disarmed by “who’s the best doggy in the world?!?”\* followed by petting. To the best of my knowledge, it isn’t possible to get wagged to death, so the robber/burglar would be pretty ok. \*They were the best doggies in the world. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/44 "2012-01-09T20:15:31Z")
> [@brocks](#): > > It certainly isn’t trained not to bark at people. If I live to be a thousand, I will never understand how dog owners think it’s fine for their dog to bark all day. How would you like it if your neighbor set up big speakers in his front (or back, for that matter) yard, and had them blaring music (pick any genre that you hate) all day? And if you happened to be trying to sleep, would it really matter if it wasn’t constant, but just every five minutes or so? > > Now move the speakers right up to the front fence just a foot or two from the sidewalk, have exposed metal on them so that any children who touch them out of curiosity get shocked, and have them rigged to explode once in a while. I wasn’t talking about dogs that bark all day, that never crossed my mind. You were talking about a dog in a yard barking as you went by. So your analogy is useless. If I see you giving my dogs something over the fence, I’m out there in a flash and having a word with you. If I have yelling kids in the yard while you jog by and you try to give them candy to shut them up because you don’t like loudly-playing children, I’m not only having a word with you, I’m calling the authorities, taking your photo and disseminating your description to everyone in my neighborhood. (The latter analogy makes as much sense to this thread as yours about hauling speakers around in someone’s yard while they’re trying to sleep, or whatever you were yapping about.) ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/45 "2012-01-09T20:19:28Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > . If I have yelling kids in the yard while you jog by and you try to give them candy to shut them up because you don’t like loudly-playing children, I’m not only having a word with you, I’m calling the authorities, taking your photo and disseminating your description to everyone in my neighborhood. Thats a crappy barking aggressive dogs = noisy kids analogy, unless your kids are waving a gun at or threatening to fuck up any people passing by. ---
**Author:** ![brocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@brocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brocks)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/46 "2012-01-09T20:21:28Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > I wasn’t talking about dogs that bark all day, that never crossed my mind. No, you were talking about dogs that run around in your yard at 6AM. I guess it also never crossed your mind that some of your neighbors might not get up the same time as you. > [@](#): > > You were talking about a dog in a yard barking as you went by. So your analogy is useless. Except in the unlikely scenario that I’m not the only person to use the public sidewalk. > [@](#): > > If I see you giving my dogs something over the fence, I’m out there in a flash and having a word with you. If I have yelling kids in the yard while you jog by and you try to give them candy to shut them up because you don’t like loudly-playing children, I’m not only having a word with you, I’m calling the authorities, taking your photo and disseminating your description to everyone in my neighborhood. Glad to see you’re being reasonable about this. > [@](#): > > (The latter analogy makes as much sense to this thread as yours about hauling speakers around in someone’s yard while they’re trying to sleep, or whatever you were yapping about.) No, it does not. I was comparing one kind of annoying noise with another. You were comparing giving a dog a treat to being a child molester. ---
**Author:** ![truthbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@truthbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthbot)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/47 "2012-01-09T20:23:42Z")
I have three dogs. The two house dogs are a Border Collie and a Westie. They would show a Mac-wielding burglar where the silver is hidden, indeed. My Anatolian Shepard? He would eat the burglar and use the Mac to get the nasty taste out of his mouth afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/48 "2012-01-09T20:26:01Z")
> [@brocks](#): > > It certainly isn’t trained not to bark at people. If I live to be a thousand, I will never understand how dog owners think it’s fine for their dog to bark all day. You’re moving the goalposts here, you originally stated that the dog barks when you walk past the fence (from one block before the house to one block after IIRC). If the dog is constantly barking, call the cops, that’s a noise ordinance violation in most jurisdictions (even during the day in my city). Let the authorities take care of it. They can ‘train’ the owner to shut the dog up by giving them tickets and threatening removal of the animal(s) much better then you can train the dog by rewarding it for barking. ---
**Author:** ![Chopper9760](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Chopper9760](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chopper9760)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/49 "2012-01-09T20:26:27Z")
I’ve had a couple of English Springer Spaniels and I’m tempted to say you wouldn’t even need a burger. However, my old springer, Kate, had one epic guard dog moment and the way my grandfolks tell it, I don’t think a hamburger would have made a difference. She got them both out of bed and then stood at the door snarling and growling at the drunk who was trying to get into the house. I can’t picture my sweet pup acting so vicious but my grandfolks tell the story reverently and act like she saved their lives. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/50 "2012-01-09T20:27:06Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Thats a crappy barking aggressive dogs = noisy kids analogy, unless your kids are waving a gun at or threatening to fuck up any people passing by. It wasn’t supposed to be a great analogy - re-read my post. 🙂 Actually if either kids or dogs were being THAT aggressive, handing them treats would be a completely inappropriate (and very strange) thing to do. Calling Animal Control or the police would be quite appropriate, however. ---
**Author:** ![brocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@brocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brocks)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/51 "2012-01-09T20:36:35Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > You’re moving the goalposts here, you originally stated that the dog barks when you walk past the fence (from one block before the house to one block after IIRC). If the dog is constantly barking, call the cops, that’s a noise ordinance violation in most jurisdictions (even during the day in my city). a) the dog (actually, it’s a pair) you mention was a particular example, not the only annoyance I’ve ever had with dog owners b) my subsequent posts have been in response to the responses I’ve gotten, and have branched out a bit. Where I come from, that’s called an ongoing discussion, not “moving the goalposts.” c) since you are interested in original themes, the original response to me was about not ticking off the owners. Which do you think would tick them off more, me giving their dog a cookie, or me siccing the cops on them? Even if it’s a wash, it’s a lot less trouble for ME, and probably much more effective, to give their dog a cookie. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/52 "2012-01-09T20:37:16Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > It wasn’t supposed to be a great analogy - re-read my post. 🙂 > Actually if either kids or dogs were being THAT aggressive, handing them treats would be a completely inappropriate (and very strange) thing to do. Calling Animal Control or the police would be quite appropriate, however. Okay, but your crappy analogy doesn’t make brocks automatically crappy ass well (because well, yours was crappy). For really aggressive barking dogs I think brocks speaker analogy is pretty good. Yeah, I’d call Animal Control too. Then again, that will probably get the dog put down if it has crappy owners so I can see the “give em a treat” route being the more humane choice (besides of course the owners actually being responsible). ---
**Author:** ![brocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@brocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brocks)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/53 "2012-01-09T20:45:37Z")
In conclusion, IMO many dogs could be disarmed with a hamburger. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/54 "2012-01-09T20:49:12Z")
> [@brocks](#): > > a) the dog (actually, it’s a pair) you mention was a particular example, not the only annoyance I’ve ever had with dog owners > > b) my subsequent posts have been in response to the responses I’ve gotten, and have branched out a bit. Where I come from, that’s called an ongoing discussion, not “moving the goalposts.” > > c) since you are interested in original themes, the original response to me was about not ticking off the owners. Which do you think would tick them off more, me giving their dog a cookie, or me siccing the cops on them? Even if it’s a wash, it’s a lot less trouble for ME, and probably much more effective, to give their dog a cookie. If they truly don’t care about their neighbors, call the cops and let the cops handle it. If the dogs are trained it might be that they [the owners] just don’t realize how loud they are or that they are barking so much (some people really do care, they’re just oblivious) an anonymous call to the cops might get the whole thing cleared up. The cops aren’t going to walk off with the dogs for the first offense, hell, they’ll probably just get a warning if it’s the first time anyone’s called about it. If the dogs aren’t barking, the cops won’t do anything about it at all other then let the homeowner’s know that there’s been a complaint. You could also write them a letter or just stop over. Whatever you do, feeding them is about the most counter-productive thing possible. You’re truly doing everything in your power to make the problem worse. Not that it’s going to go away on it’s own. But you need to remember, you’re rewarding them for barking. ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/55 "2012-01-09T20:59:53Z")
We have a small, cowardly beagle who surely doesn’t guard anything, but she does alarm at the top of her lungs. She gets sufficiently freaked out about strangers that a hamburger may or may not shut her up. She might possibly choke to death while trying to bark and swallow the hamburger at the same time. Not long ago the doorbell happened to ring during the 30 seconds she spends scarfing down her dinner, and it was comical to see how torn she was between the food and the doorbell: barking hysterically, with her head in the bowl, trying to eat even faster than usual. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/56 "2012-01-09T21:06:36Z")
I just remembered a good personal dog disarming story. A friend and I drove up a farm house in the middle of nowhere, so I doubt this dog saw many strangers. We parked then start the long walk towards the farmhouse. About halfway there here comes this big dog ready to eat us alive. There was nowhere to run and nobody appeared to be around. Damn, what are we going to do? After a moment I had an idea. I looked at the dog, got all friendly and said something like " hey boy, you are such a goooood dooooggy, yeeeees youuuuu arrrrre…" in a very friendly tone. The dog quite foaming at the mouth, tilted his head sideways (and you could almost hear the gears in his head doing the math) and then in an instant he became our bestest friend. In his mind I guess he figured if we were friendly then we had to be friends right? ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/57 "2012-01-09T21:44:49Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Okay, but your crappy analogy doesn’t make brocks automatically crappy ass well (because well, yours was crappy). For really aggressive barking dogs I think brocks speaker analogy is pretty good. Yeah, I’d call Animal Control too. Then again, that will probably get the dog put down if it has crappy owners so I can see the “give em a treat” route being the more humane choice (besides of course the owners actually being responsible). Is it illegal to have dogs in your own front yard where you live? Or do you think they’re enough to warrant a noise disturbance? If it’s made life easier for you, then I can understand you continuing to give the dogs treats, but it is a bit counterproductive. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/58 "2012-01-09T21:44:53Z")
Darn near anything edible would do it. I think her previous owner fed her rather play with her. She was quite chubby when I got her and she sooooo loves her food. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/59 "2012-01-09T21:53:55Z")
My dog is a retired guide dog breeder. Guide dog puppies who show the slightest trace of viciousness get career changed so fast it makes their collars spin, so I am confident that all nastiness has been bred out of her. She’s a Golden also. She makes growling noise playing tug of war, but you could stick your hand in her mouth with no worries. She might knock someone out wagging tail, or choke them with flying fur. However, of someone did give her hamburger, she is going to be bugging them for more as long as she can get near them, so they are going to have a hard time being quiet and stealthy. ---
**Author:** ![St\_Jimmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@St\_Jimmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St_Jimmy)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912/60 "2012-01-09T22:17:43Z")
Man, my cat would take that burger and go “GET. IN. MY. BELLY!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-disarm-your-dog-with-a-hamburger/608912.md?page=4)