As I remember, they start out with the idea of staying awake by drinking instant coffee made in the cab while they drove. By the end of the trip, they’ve resorted to just moistening the instant coffee and scarfing it by the handful.
People have crossed the frozen bering strait on foot and on skis but no land based vehicle has achieved this.
One guy strapped floats to a land rover and made it:
And this strange screw propelled vehicle (which floats) made it:
I don’t really think either of those counts as a “road trip”.
I recall David Letterman sending Larry “Bud” Melman on a road trip to somewhere south of the border. I can’t recall how far he was supposed to go, if he was actually supposed to reach South America, but by the time he’d hit Guatemala, he was literally pleading on air to be allowed to return. The corrupt cops, the bandits, the revolutionaries, all got to him. This was in the 1980s, and the situation may be improved now. (The gag was called off, and Melman returned.)
it sounds like you’ve been there, I haven’t so I’ll take your word on the terrain. And you could be right… however there was talk of a canal across Nicaragua I think, and it was decided the terrain was unsuitable… so all of a sudden Panama appeared.
Now I’ll have to look up the panama canal history and see when panama was clipped off of Columbia.
Next thing you are going to tell me is that the US didn’t manhandle Hawaii to take over the island chain for themselves. Sam Dole, of Dole fruits was the first president of hawaii. Coincidence? I think NOT! 
OK, according to Wiki, an engineer named William Kennish, (he worked for the US government) surveyed the different potential locations for the future canal and his conclusion was basically where the current Panama Canal was finally built. He wrote this up in 1855. The French started construction, and failed. So from 1881-1890, the French were given the rights by the Columbian Govt. to dig the canal in the Columbian province of Panama.
The US started to look at different options in 1890, and after looking at the Nicaraguan canal potential, the US Senate, in 1902, agreed to pursue the French interests in Panama. A treaty was signed by the US and Columbia representatives to permit this and to give the US a renewable lease in perpetuity. The Columbian government never ratified this treaty.
Per Wikipedia " Phillipe Bunau-Varilla, chief engineer and significant shareholder of the French canal company, told U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt and Hay of a possible revolt, and hoped that the United States would support Panamanian rebels who aimed to separate from Colombia, by providing U.S. troops and money. Roosevelt changed tactics, promising support for the separation of Panama from Colombia."
“On November 2, 1903, U.S. warships blocked sea lanes for possible Colombian troop movements en route to put down the rebellion. Dense jungles blocked Colombia’s land routes. Reportedly, extensive bribes were paid to get the few Colombian troops stationed in Panama to lay down their arms. Panama declared independence the next day, November 3, 1903. The U.S. quickly recognized the new nation of Panama.”
“In 1904, the United States, under President Theodore Roosevelt, bought the French equipment and excavations for US$40 million, paid the new country of Panama US$10 million plus more each year, and began work on the Panama Canal on May 4, 1904. (In 1921, the United States paid Colombia US$10 million, plus US$250,000 per annum for several years; in return, Colombia recognized Panama under the terms of the Thomson-Urrutia Treaty).”
All quoted info directly from Wiki’s page.
However in re-reading it, I am in agreement with you that it wasn’t a conspiracy to keep the Columbians from retaking Panama.
The US paid the Columbian govt. quite a bit of money to keep Columbia happy.
I guess the conspiracy or scandal would involve the Columbian government taking the money for Panama and permitting the US to set up shop and basically protect the new nation of Panama.
But as I said, I have to agree with you that there isn’t any conspiracy to keep a road from being built.
This has been our history lesson for the day!
Nitpick: It’s Colombia.
Plenty of people have done those kind of road trips. Just to throw out an example, there’s the Mongol Rally from the UK to Ulan Bator, Mongolia.
Heck, you can get a package holiday road trip from the UK to Cape Town. That cheats slightly by flying to Morocco, but I’m sure I’ve seen trips that do the whole thing overland, passing through the Middle East. They might not be running now but the problems are political rather than physical. There’s a bridge over the Suez Canal, and roads from there connect you all the way to South Africa, so you could drive every mile of the way from London to Cape Town (apart from the 20-odd miles under the Channel where your car will be on a train).
Equally you could drive from London to Vladivostok, now the Zilov Gap is no longer a gap.
- A good portion of the indigenous Embera, Wounaan, and Kuna, who have majority control of their comarcas (equivalent to states or provinces), would block attempts to build a road, as being detrimental to their existence as a culture (others, though, might welcome it and the commercial and other opportunities it would encourage.)
I remember that. Dave referred to it as a good-will tour and his destination was Tierra del Fuego.
I guess they should have researched that a bit more.
mmm
Tim Cahill and Garry Sowerby had gone “full-tilt roto” by the time they got to the Darien Gap. That bit they did by ferry.
Ok I guess to you everything *is *a conspiracy. I apologize. Carry on.
Yeah, this thread reminded me of that. He barely made it halfway, not even to Panama I think. It was a great bit in that its utter failure was what made it so funny. Poor Larry Bud though. He started right outside 30 Rock in a motorhome which they took as far as Mexico I think. Right from the start Melman and his driver didn’t get along. Then somewhere in Mexico Larry stumbled & fell and broke his glasses (he didn’t have a spare). Each time Dave would talk to him on the phone he just got more & more sad and depressed. I think they used one of those early video-still-picture phone things and you could see it in his face.
When Larry finally made it clear that he couldn’t go on any longer, Dave told him he could either press on further, or he’d fly him home, or he’d send him to Disneyland! This of course got big applause from the audience, but then Melman just pleaded back, “I’d just like to come home…” Was both funny and legitimately a little uncomfortable. So much so that awhile after he got back he appeared as a regular guest just to explain what went wrong and that, although he had a lousy time, he was all happy again.
The contrast of Melman’s misery and Dave’s faux-enthusiasm, this was supposed to be a “Good Will Tour” across two continents!, worked really well. Before he would call to check on his progress Dave would take out a big map with a little movable picture of Larry Bud in a ridiculous sombrero to represent his progress. Towards the end that happy picture of him so did not match his sad, somber demeanor!
Moderator Note
Blakeyrat, changing a quote within a quote tag is against the rules. Do not do this again.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
This is greatly exaggerated.
I’ve been to the Darien more than 30 times, including to within a few miles of the Colombian border seven or eight times. I’ve been well into the Darien Gap itself, up the Tuira River, to within about 20 miles of the Colombian border. I’ve led expeditions into several of the more remote mountain ranges of Darien.
The road in Darien is now paved all the the way to Yaviza, which is less than 50 miles from the Colombian border. It’s an easy 5-hour drive from Panama City on two-lane blacktop.
The terrain is not particularly rugged along the rest of the likely route up the Tuira Valley, and there are no “sudden drops” along it. There wouldn’t be a big problem putting a road through this area using modern construction techniques all the way to Colombia, which is mostly flat terrain, although building bridges over the Tuira and its tributaries would be rather expensive. There are roads through a lot tougher areas. The big problem is on the Colombian side, through or around the Atrato Swamp, but I’m sure that wouldn’t be insurmountable. And it’s hardly impenetrable jungle, since the indigenous people and other residents of Darien have cleared much of the area along the river for farming. There is a continuous series of well-used trails between the villages along the way.
The wildlife is no great threat. Jaguars and pumas aren’t going to hang around areas where roads are being constructed. There are poisonous snakes, but the danger is probably worse in the southern US, and that doesn’t stop road construction in Texas. (I have had a jaguar come around my tent at night, and my Embera guides once killed a six-foot-long Fer-de-lance next to our camp, but that was in remote areas.)
The FARC is indeed a potential problem for small parties (and why I don’t go up the Tuira very far any more). However, although the FARC have sometimes kidnapped people on the Panamanian side, they are under such pressure in Colombia that they really don’t want to stir up trouble and motivate the Panamanian border services to go after them. They keep a low profile these days, and I doubt the groups are very large. Drug smugglers and general bad guys (maleantes) are probably a bigger problem. But if the Panamanian and Colombian governments decided to put a road through, they could easily post enough guards to protect any road crews.
There is intermittent talk about building a road through the Gap, but the basic thing blocking it is that although Colombia wants it, Panama really doesn’t. Panama has enough of a problem with illegal immigrants from Colombia as it is, and doesn’t want to make access easier. As mentioned above, there is also the issue that a road would cross indigenous Comarcas (homelands) and be opposed by these groups. It would also cross the Darien National Park, but that would not be a barrier if Panama really wanted it. A more likely project for the near term would be building a transmission line to bring power between Panama and Colombia.
At least four expeditions have crossed the Darien Gap by car, hacking out roads and rafting across rivers:
The Trans-Darien expedition of 1959-1960, using a Land Rover and a Jeep, and including two Panamanians (a husband and wife), an Englishman, and an Australian.
A team of three Chevrolet Corvairs in 1962.
The British Trans-Americas Expedition of 1972, which used two Range Rovers and drove from Alaska all the way to southern South America.
Loren Upton and Patty Mercier used a Jeep to cross entirely by land (without rafting across the Atrato) in 1987-1989, by traveling only during the dry season.
There have also been a number of crossings by motorcycle.
This book was the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread. Terrific read. Informative and funny. They did travel by boat around the Darien Gap.
Excellent and informative. The ‘three Chevrolet Corvairs’ raised my eyebrows, though. 
That does not sound safe.
At any speed.
You, sir, are a bona fide badass. Great post.
A six foot long Fer-de-lance? Hello, bad dreams.
I agree that she will need to bypass the Darien Gap (although the route does not pass through “impenetrable jungle,” and it’s feasible to get some distance up the Tuira without serious risk of encountering the FARC).
Aside from any danger from the FARC, she would be turned back by the Panamanian border patrol, which maintains a checkpoint at Meteti along the road to Yaviza and has posts in most of the main towns in Darien. They would be very unlikely to allow a gringa on a bicycle to pass through, especially if she told them she intended to go up the Tuira.
Cahill and Sowerby shipped their car by boat to San Andres, a Caribbean island owned by Colombia, and then on to Colombia. I don’t recall whether they themselves traveled by boat or flew between Panama and Colombia.
There is currently no ferry between Panama and Colombia. One has been announced that was supposed to start service between Colon and Cartagena in May, but I don’t think it has actually started up yet. It is possible to travel by small trading boats from Colon along the San Blas coast to Puerto Obaldia in eastern Panama, and then get another boat on to Colombia. However, these take passengers only (no cars).
The videos show the Corvair expedition, which I think was probably the most extraordinary one of all, since they were two-wheel-drive cars.
I met Blashford-Snell, the leader of the British Trans-Americas Expedition, when he gave a lecture at the British Embassy here. He’s quite a character.
Sometime I’ll tell you about my adventures in Africa and the Peruvian Amazon…
Surely that would be an easy border crossing to police, as such things go. One road, with difficult territory to either side?
Is there no incentive for legitimate trade?
I’d think the simple fact that it now was possible to traverse the length of the Americas by road would bump up tourism.