# Could you ever disown your child? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 1, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724 "2010-10-01T14:51:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/1 "2010-10-01T14:51:24Z")
Suggested by the current prostitution thread. Poll coming in a moment, but don’t let that stop you. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/2 "2010-10-01T14:52:59Z")
No, under no circumstances. Drugs, prostitution, serial Killer, whatever. They would have to pay for their mistakes if criminal, but I will be by their side no matter what. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/3 "2010-10-01T14:58:22Z")
Doubtful. I can’t think of anything that would cause me to disown a child. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/4 "2010-10-01T14:58:31Z")
Disclaimer - I’m not a parent and have no interest in ever becoming one. Generally because I detest arguing for an absolute, I can’t honestly say that I would _never_ disown my (hypothetical) child under _any_ circumstances. I can’t imagine what circumstances would cause me to seriously consider it though. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/5 "2010-10-01T15:00:07Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > No, under no circumstances. Drugs, prostitution, serial Killer, whatever. They would have to pay for their mistakes if criminal, but I will be by their side no matter what. Damned straight. If my kid were to commit horrible crimes someday, I’d be heartbroken, but he’s my kid for better or worse, and for always. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/6 "2010-10-01T15:03:57Z")
This is going to be purely hypothetical, since I’m not going to reproduce, but the only way I could imagine it is if it was somehow necessary to protect another child. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/7 "2010-10-01T15:05:29Z")
Poll’s up. In one option I seem to have typed “racie” where I meant “racial.” ---
**Author:** ![Drygon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@Drygon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drygon)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/8 "2010-10-01T15:05:45Z")
The only reason I could think of to disown my (soon to be) kid is if he murdered my wife or one of my other (some day) kids. I just don’t think I could get over that. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/9 "2010-10-01T15:09:22Z")
Well, only if he or she got a tattoo. Kidding, of course! ETA: Wow, I just read the poll choices and that’s some rough stuff. I still say I wouldn’t disown my kid, but I’d sure be working to fix them, and/or working against them. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/10 "2010-10-01T15:11:59Z")
I voted for _unjustifiable murder_, _forcible rape_, _leading a race supremacy group_, _committing systematic spousal abuse_, the various _committing systematic child abuse options_, _deliberate non-payment of child support_, and _trying to kill my spouse_. I’d relent on the child support issue if my child repented and made moves to atone; and I should have included _killing another of my children_ as an option. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/11 "2010-10-01T16:00:22Z")
Disclaimer: I don’t have children and I don’t want children. I put _trying to kill me_, _trying to kill my spouse_ and _trying to kill another family member_ (I assume one of my parents or another of my children, etc). I’m not going to get into an argument about whether that stuff is any better or worse than other stuff on the list. Suffice it to say that if my son or daughter murders my wife he or she might be murdered by me. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/12 "2010-10-01T16:31:02Z")
People did it a lot more in the past. It does have some basis in sociology. One of the greatest ways to motovate others is ostracism. Whether it be total or just sending someone to coventry, it is an effective means to change behaviour. Of course this doesn’t always work I know as a gay male, who was coming into adulthood in the 80s, the age of AIDS, I saw so many people disowned. You’d be surprised how easy it was to do, when you combine homosexuality with a fear of a deadly disease. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/13 "2010-10-01T16:37:46Z")
I did NOT check any of the spouse/child abuse choices because: if I disowned the child, this might also separate me from the spouse/grandchildren being abused. I’d want to keep contact for their sakes. I did say unjustifiable murder, rape, attempting/succeeding to kill me or a family member (well, if they did succeed in killing _me_, I guess it would be a moot point)… also the racial supremacy choices (I could not associate with such a person even if it were a family member), and avoiding paying child support; I have to assume in that scenario, my child would not be a significant impediment to access to the grandchild. I also included animal cruelty, which would seem to contradict the child abuse thing; however, access to the animal would (I assume!) be of less of a concern to me! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/14 "2010-10-01T16:38:54Z")
I cannot imaging disowning my child. However, I’ll mention the forcible rape thing to my daughter… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/15 "2010-10-01T17:02:47Z")
My brother got disowned because he knocked a chick up when he was 15, got into pot and moved in with the pregnant chick. I felt the abandonment was grossly unfair even though I still don’t completely trust him. In my opinion disowning a kid, something and someone YOU made, is the equivalent of walking away from your responsibilities/mistake. I could preach about this for days without stopping, but I won’t. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/16 "2010-10-01T17:23:07Z")
I don’t understand the concept of disowning a kid. Even if you choose never to have contact with them ever again, how do you erase that they’re your kid? The only circumstance I could see would be if you adopted an older child and then relinquished him/her very quickly. I guess I’m missing something. Bing Crosby once told Barbara Walters that if he ever found out that his daughter was living in sin with someone, he would disown her. What an jerk. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/17 "2010-10-01T17:34:49Z")
Never disown, though I would turn them into the cops for nearly all the crimes you’ve listed. I’d visit them in prison too. > [@](#): > > Trying to kill you. How else are they expected to take over the household? ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/18 "2010-10-01T17:51:01Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I voted for _unjustifiable murder_, _forcible rape_, _leading a race supremacy group_, _committing systematic spousal abuse_, the various _committing systematic child abuse options_, _deliberate non-payment of child support_, and _trying to kill my spouse_. I’d relent on the child support issue if my child repented and made moves to atone; and I should have included _killing another of my children_ as an option. I agree with the ones you picked and also added the animal cruelty one. If they did stuff like that, I would be like, “Who are you? That’s not how I raised you to be. You’re not who I thought you were.” For example, some of the values I hope my kids pick up from me is a respect for life and a love for animals, so it would be very shocking to me if my kid grew up into an animal abuser. I can’t imagine wanting anything to do with them again after that stuff. There is no question in my mind that if I found out my son/daughter was abusing my grandkid, I’d try to get my son/daughter locked up and raise the grandkid myself. I would not visit them in prison - what is there to say to someone who has terrorized and traumatized your grandkid? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/19 "2010-10-01T18:03:14Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > In my opinion disowning a kid, something and someone YOU made, is the equivalent of walking away from your responsibilities/mistake. That’s how I’m looking at it too. It would be interesting to know whether the people responding to this poll already have children (I see that a lot of posters did include that information). I didn’t mention it in my post, but I do have kids. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724/20 "2010-10-01T18:12:20Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > > [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > > > In my opinion disowning a kid, something and someone YOU made, is the equivalent of walking away from your responsibilities/mistake. > > That’s how I’m looking at it too. It would be interesting to know whether the people responding to this poll already have children (I see that a lot of posters did include that information). > > I didn’t mention it in my post, but I do have kids. I had adult children in mind. And by disowning I mean “refusing all non-emergency interaction until the person repents and atones for his wrongdoing, and possibly not event then.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-ever-disown-your-child/555724.md?page=2)