# Could you have a satisfying sex life with a partner who would only do oral & manual? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 3, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829 "2010-12-03T16:57:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2010, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/61 "2010-12-08T16:14:31Z")
I couldn’t do it. First of all, I’ve mastered the handjob since I was about 12, and I’m sorry, but you’ll never do that better than me, and that’s not going to be enough for the rest of my life. Also, of all the blowjobs I’ve had in my life, only one woman was talented enough at it to possibly persuade me to forget the need for PIV sex. And even though she was that good, I’d still need other alternatives. There has to be a place in my life (and in my wife’s, as she’s made it clear) for vaginal and anal. Sometimes you just need that feeling, and mouths and hands are poor substitutes. ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/62 "2010-12-09T22:26:18Z")
Probably. Assuming sufficient enthusiasm and full access is granted to the amusement park. A partner who doesn’t like to be touched below the waist would be something else again. The best parts of sex have not usually involved the Ura-Wang, anyway . . . Come to think of it, I’ve never preformed the ah, traditional wedding tango without the latex dancing shoes. So, it’s possible that I just don’t know what I’m missing . . . – > [@scifisam2009](#): > > Yup - another lesbian here, so there’s never any penile penetration involved anyway. Silly Skald, forgetting us! Yeah. That’s straight guys for you. Never thinking enough about lesbian sex . . . ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/63 "2010-12-09T22:37:50Z")
> [@Ura-Maru](#): > > Yeah. That’s straight guys for you. Never thinking enough about lesbian sex . . . I’m that rare straight guy who skips over lesbian scenes in porn. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/64 "2010-12-09T22:41:12Z")
> [@Ura-Maru](#): > > Come to think of it, I’ve never preformed the ah, traditional wedding tango without the latex dancing shoes. So, it’s possible that I just don’t know what I’m missing . . . IMO, yes, to a certain extent you don’t know what you’re missing. Not that it would necessarily be enough to change your opinion, just that condoms do make a noticeable difference (at least for me). ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/65 "2010-12-09T22:47:48Z")
For the record, the last sentence of that first paragraph was NOT meant to imply what it sounds like it does. No matter what you may have heard! ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/66 "2010-12-10T01:29:24Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Nope. Gotta have the penis. When I’m getting off, I like to have something in there to clamp down on. :: blush :: TMI? “Something to clamp down on” makes me wonder why several fingers, a hand, or a dil aren’t sufficient. If it’s gotta be cock, then it’s gotta be, but your phrasing has led me to question. ETA: crap, missed your earlier reply. carry on… ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/67 "2010-12-10T15:57:45Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I can’t really think of anything that would be physically different (at least, for guys). 😕😕 Teeth. Depth. Heat. Tightness. Are you serious? In what world is a blowjob even comparable to PIV? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/68 "2010-12-10T17:21:26Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > 😕😕 > > Teeth. Depth. Heat. Tightness. Are you serious? In what world is a blowjob even comparable to PIV? For real. **BigT** , have you actually ever _had_ sex? The experience of vaginal intercoursel vs. oral is significantly different in a multiplicty of ways. A mouth doesn’t feel anything like a pussy. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/69 "2010-12-10T19:41:07Z")
I love to give - And really love to recieve. So yeah, I’d say yes. Provided, of course, she was as enthusastic as I. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/70 "2010-12-10T20:28:57Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’m that rare straight guy who skips over lesbian scenes in porn. Hmmm. Do you also skip the turkey at Thanksgiving? 😛 > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > A mouth doesn’t feel anything like a pussy. Indeed. A vagina doesn’t have a tongue swirling your glans, nor does it hum with excitement. Nor does it bleed. Censored for those who may be having lunch. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/71 "2010-12-10T22:56:27Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I honestly don’t see why not. Can someone explain to me what PIV has over other forms of sex? I can’t really think of anything that would be physically different (at least, for guys). So is it some emotional thing? As great as a blowjob is, it’s really very different from PIV sex. Heat, tightness, point-of-view, reactions, teeth, ability to kiss your partner during… Huge difference. Yes, there’s an emotional difference, but there’s a big physical difference, too. > [@Ura-Maru](#): > > Come to think of it, I’ve never preformed the ah, traditional wedding tango without the latex dancing shoes. So, it’s possible that I just don’t know what I’m missing . . . No, there’s a difference but not a radical one. It’s just like sex with a condom, only more so. Try it if you get a (safe) opportunity, and you’ll understand. I voted that it’d be very difficult or impossible to maintain over the long term. I’d probably go with “very difficult”, not “impossible”, but I’m honestly not sure how long I could do it. Certainly I did it for around two years with my current girlfriend before we had sex, and extenuating circumstances would matter (if the lady in question had a medical condition that would eventually clear up, that would make it easier), but I don’t think I could do forever. I would be able to give up oral more easily than PIV sex. I think it’s interesting that the men and women in this poll are voting so similarly. I expected a gender divide, with women being more willing to forgo PIV sex, what with the number of women who can normally only orgasm with clitoral stimulation that PIV sex doesn’t provide. Very interesting how equal this is. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/72 "2010-12-11T13:09:37Z")
Gay male - would be entirely happy with it for two reasons. 1. Sometimes you’re not compatible when it comes to penetration for whatever reason (one doesn’t like it, you both want to do the same position, one person can’t for some medical reason) and 2. I particularly like manual, namely mutual masturbation which I think is the best thing in the world evar!!!elventyone!!! My idea of heaven is a permanent circle jerk to really good porn. Sadly this is a minority fetish in the gay world ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/73 "2010-12-12T15:46:34Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Hmmm. Do you also skip the turkey at Thanksgiving? 😛 In fact, I do. I thought about not having turkey on Thanksgiving at all, as both my wife & I much prefer ham, but since we were hosting for the extended family, we relented. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/74 "2010-12-13T02:21:55Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > A vagina doesn’t have a tongue swirling your glans, nor does it hum with excitement. Nor > > does it bleed. Well, I guess you haven’t had the pleasure of being orally serviced by someone with gingivitis, have you? ---
**Author:** ![Fluxuz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2bfe46/32.png) [@Fluxuz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluxuz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/75 "2011-05-11T02:52:40Z")
I am a heterosexual male and I must say yes. Receiving oral sex only would be the ideal scenario for me and only hand stimulation for her. That’s the ideal sexual relationship, which is close to what I have now (if I lick her anywhere, that’s just for my amusement). If it were absolutely on those terms only without vaginal or anal sex, that would be just great. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/76 "2011-05-11T03:01:21Z")
We did just that for two and a half years before we were married, and I have absolutely no complaints…I’m certain that I could be quite happy with such an arrangement if need be. ---
**Author:** ![Ladymarmalade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@Ladymarmalade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ladymarmalade)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/77 "2011-05-11T04:45:29Z")
No. I am a penis person. ;o) ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/78 "2011-05-11T19:08:42Z")
Okay, I feel like an idiot for my previous response. No, I have never had PIV sex. But I asked the wrong question. What is it that is better about PIV sex? I can see the differences, obviously, but what makes it better, from a physiological perspective? My previous comment was trying to say that, from a physiological point of view, I would think an orgasm would just be an orgasm. Sure the sensations might be different, but, again, what makes it better? Is that even an answerable question? I’ve thought about this before, and I concluded that I’d be happy never having had actual PIV sex as long as I was with someone I loved who expressed that love intimately. But, without experience, I agree that’s an uninformed answer. And, yes, this question is semi-rhetorical. If you don’t want to discuss it, obviously I don’t want you to, either. ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/79 "2011-05-12T17:36:14Z")
I’d love it! I like penetrative sex, but I LOVE good oral and manual technique, and not enough people are inclined to make an effort in this area, IME. I also enjoy giving to both men and women, and find it more intimate than being penetrated. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829/80 "2011-05-12T18:01:12Z")
No. I mean, all that stuff is nice and all, but eventually I, er, need more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-have-a-satisfying-sex-life-with-a-partner-who-would-only-do-oral-manual/562829.md?page=5)