# Could you knock out an enraged chimp? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 7, 2010, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830 "2010-07-07T08:20:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/1 "2010-07-07T08:20:07Z")
I think most people have read the stories of chimpanzees going berserk and inflicting terrible injuries on their keepers, due to their immense strength. This got me thinking, if you cross paths with an enraged chimpanzee, what is the best method for fighting it off? I suppose if you’re in the open, the best method is probably to run for it, and hope the chimp loses interest? However, suppose you’re in a more enclosed space. What is the best method now? The chimp has long, powerful arms, so you want to avoid those, and also a nasty bite. Could a chimp take a boxer’s jab to the chin and not be dazed? Do chimp’s have the same vulnerability to jabs in their chins as humans do? Suppose for the sake of argument we’re talking about a well-built adult male who can throw a punch. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/2 "2010-07-07T08:31:01Z")
HUGE disclaimer: I can’t answer this question for you, but I might be able to lead you in the right direction. First, I don’t _think_ it’s fully understood how or why a knockout happens. This throws a wild card on the question right off the bat. Second, it could have something to do with our heads sitting right on top of our spines like . . . well, like a punching bag. Look at how [our spine](http://public.alternativehealthcareeducation.com/images/Image/bones%20-%20human%20skeleton%20A&P2.jpg) comes up into the bottom of our skull versus how [a chimp’s](http://www.almasalla.travel/images/News/Small/Chimpanzee-skeleton1.jpg) kind of enters through the back. The mechanics of that is going to result in more of a whiplash/rattling force when the human gets hit. Finally, from what I understand, their skulls are thicker, their brains are smaller, and their chins (“the button,” in terms of getting the KO) are farther from their brains. All that being said, I just don’t know. My best guess is: unlikely, but possible. I’d pay a lot of money to see Brock Lesnar vs. a chimp :D. ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/3 "2010-07-07T11:58:46Z")
I think you’ve provided an answer yourself: > [@](#): > > The chimp has long, powerful arms, so you want to avoid those, and also a nasty bite. Call me a defeatist if you wish, but I honestly don’t think there’s much you can do. A chimp keeper at a zoo in Sweden has said that there is no way she would go in to them alone and as she is considered one of the best primate experts in the country she probably knows what she’s talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/4 "2010-07-07T12:13:22Z")
Pull gun, shoot chimp, job done. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/5 "2010-07-07T12:13:50Z")
In one of his books\*, animal hunter Frank Buck claimed that he knocked out an enraged orangutan with a haymaker to the jaw. If true, I’d think you could take down a chimp the same way. \*_Bring 'em Back Alive_, I think, but I’m not sure. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/6 "2010-07-07T13:49:43Z")
The face is full of sensitive nerves and organs in all mammals. It is certainly plausible that you could punch a chimp out, but you’d have to be more precise than with a human. You’d really need to avoid the skull as much as possible and focus on the jaw. The nose might be a good target as well. Anything else has a lot of bone around it and might not be a good target. The good thing about animals is that they often don’t persist in fighting after being wounded seriously. If you land a blow that breaks the jaw, knocks out some teeth, or stuns him hard enough to sit him down, you’ve probably won. Personally I wouldn’t try for a knockout, I’d go right for the eyes and not stop until he quit or I’d blinded him. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/7 "2010-07-07T14:04:05Z")
Also remember–and we’ve seen this in action–chimps “know” about hands/paws, and about the first thing they do is grab on and de-digitize. Then they go on to neutering. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Economist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c89c15/32.png) [@Evil\_Economist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Economist)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/8 "2010-07-07T14:30:10Z")
I saw a nature show once which showed a chimp fall 30 feet onto concrete, where it landed on its head. It got up, shook itself off, and walked away. I bet knocking one out with a punch would be damn difficult. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/9 "2010-07-07T14:55:35Z")
[The Master speaks:](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2/can-a-90-lb-chimp-clobber-a-full-grown-man) > [@Cecil Adams](#): > > In tests at the Bronx Zoo in 1924, a dynamometer — a scale that measures the mechanical force of a pull on a spring — was erected in the monkey house. A 165-pound male chimpanzee named “Boma” registered a pull of 847 pounds, using only his right hand (although he did have his feet braced against the wall, being somewhat hip, in his simian way, to the principles of leverage). A 165-pound man, by comparison, could manage a one-handed pull of about 210 pounds. Even more frightening, a female chimp, weighing a mere 135 pounds and going by the name of Suzette, checked in with a one-handed pull of 1,260 pounds. (She was in a fit of passion at the time; one shudders to think what her boyfriend must have looked like next morning.) In dead lifts, chimps have been known to manage weights of 600 pounds without even breaking into a sweat. A male gorilla could probably heft an 1,800-pound weight and not think twice about it. If you can knock him out, better do it quickly. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/10 "2010-07-07T15:12:04Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I don’t _think_ it’s fully understood how or why a knockout happens. While true it’s generally accepted that it has to do with minor trauma to the brain stem (this usually happens when the head rotates sharply) or the brain being violently moved inside the skull. I would guess that a smaller brain would make them more susceptible to knock-out. I think this is a conditional question; Could you win a fight with a chimp by KO’ing him and if a chimp was standing relaxed would a hard right crossed knock him out. My WAG is no, yes. That said, given what we’ve seen happens to humans in confrontations with chimps I’m guessing going for the KO is as good as strategy as any. I’m pretty sure if Brock Lesner got a clean shot he would drop a chimp like a sack of potatoes. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/11 "2010-07-07T15:16:33Z")
Well, for starters, if you try and ue your arms, you’d better be a profesisonal boxer or you’re an idiot. Chimps have great big mighty arms. Humans have great big mighty legs. Not suprisingly, we both use our great big mighty limbs for propulsion. Kick the beast in the face. And then keep kicking. _Hard_. Otherwise, an angry chimpanzee can probably kill you. Only a fool would try to punch it out, because that would be going onto its favored turf, so to speak. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/12 "2010-07-07T15:24:22Z")
I’m going for the junk or the eyes. Just like the rest of my fights. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/13 "2010-07-07T15:25:19Z")
> [@](#): > > I think this is a conditional question; Could you win a fight with a chimp by KO’ing him and if a chimp was standing relaxed would a hard right crossed knock him out. Buck claimed that he had no choice – he and someone else were holding the orangutan so someone else could put a collar on it, and it slipped out of the other guy’s grip. Buck let go and waded in close, then hit the orangutan with “an uppercut with all my beef behind it” before it got a chance to grab him, pull him in, and bite (which, he says, was what orangutans would normally do). He knew his only chance was to knock it out with one blow. Buck was a shameless self-promoter, it’s true, but if the story is at all true, it doesn’t seem likely to have been exaggerated. It’s hard to imagine any other reason or scenario for doing this. According to websites I read while looking for the reference, I find others reporting that Buck used to discipline orangutans with a crowbar – something you certainly don’t find in his books. I don’t know if _that’s_ true, either, but, if so, Buck had experience hitting orangutans. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/14 "2010-07-07T15:37:29Z")
I’d much rather go with a couple of chef’s knives or, if I had to knock it out, a Louisville Slugger. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/15 "2010-07-07T18:29:51Z")
And remember, the madder the chimp gets, the stronger it gets. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/16 "2010-07-07T18:50:53Z")
Jump into a deep pond and take it from there, you would win every time. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/17 "2010-07-07T19:01:26Z")
> [@casdave](#): > > Jump into a deep pond and take it from there, you would win every time. They say that about bees, too, but I’m not sure it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/18 "2010-07-07T19:12:02Z")
Depends. Am I enraged too? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/19 "2010-07-07T19:59:30Z")
It’s rather difficult to knock out a human being with a blow to the jaw from a bare fist. Given that a chimp is going to be [ul][li]fastermuch lower to the ground[/li][li]have a stronger neck[/li][/ul]I’d say the chances were slim at best. I doubt a person would stand much chance against a chimp no matter what you do. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830/20 "2010-07-07T20:12:20Z")
Maybe you could immobilize the chimp with a logical paradox, like Captain Kirk used to do with renegade space probes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-knock-out-an-enraged-chimp/545830.md?page=2)