# Could you please spell my fucking name right? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 7, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556 "2000-12-07T22:09:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/41 "2000-12-08T19:37:08Z")
John, if Al Gore has ruined “snippy” for you, may I offer up “snarky?” I’ve grown quite fond of it. Back to the OP: An online friend just had a baby way early and the little thing is struggling. They named her Alison. A-L-I-S-O-N. I realize there are many ways to spell it, but this is what they chose, and mom typed it several times for us to see it. Yet I keep seeing messages from other people on our mailing list reading, “Poor Alyson!” And “I’m praying for Allison!” I feel like screaming. Can you not get this one thing correct? The poor wee girl is lying in a plastic bassinet with tubes and wires going every which way. Could you at least get her goddamn name right? I don’t know why this set me off (it’s not like she’s not going to be facing this for the rest of her life, assuming she lives). I realize I am an asshole for not just being grateful that they care enough to send nice messages to her. But then, I do have this handle for a reason… ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/42 "2000-12-08T19:54:53Z")
Sorry, but your name is pronounced S-pricks, Esprix. This is America, not some frenchy-territory. X sounds like X. Got it? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/43 "2000-12-08T20:03:58Z")
**Cranky** , that’s an easy one _Sometimes I wish that I could STOP you from talking, when I hear the silly things that you say. Somebody better put out the big lights, cause I can’t stand to see you this way._ Of course, this is from an idiot who named his firstborn after that damn song, and misspelt it (with two "l"s). Your friend got it right. **elmwood** - add me to the list of folk who have the Dave/Dan problem. Man, instead of being pissed, be happy they got that close. There are some names I always confuse. Like, I’ll know a guy’s name is either Frank or George, but I won’t for the life of me know which it is. Or Curt and Doug. Why the hell would I mix those up?! Oh yeah, and Expris and Esprit. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/44 "2000-12-08T20:29:32Z")
Wait, I think **RickJay** was using hyperbole and sarcasm to make a point in a humorous fashion. Hang on, let me check… Nope, don’t care. (On a related note, why do people feel obliged to read a thread they’re not interested in reading anyway only to post a message saying, “What a stupid thread!”? Seems rather pathetic, IMHO.) You are still welcome to go fuck yourself in whatever way pleases you most, though. And have a nice day! Esprix ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/45 "2000-12-08T20:32:07Z")
1. I have a hyphenated name. That means that the first part of my last name (not really, but whatever) is NOT my middle name! I do not use my middle name for anything BUT LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND OTHER THINGS WHERE SUCH IS REQUIRED! My parents decided to put their two last names together. Not my decision, nor was my first name. No, my mother is not a feminazi. She didn’t want to be the umpteenth Mrs. XXXXXX, since my father’s the youngest of ten legit kids. 2. When I tell you my name, I’m telling you what I want to be called. Please do not assume my name is Patrick but I really want to be called Pat for as long as you know me. It doesn’t bother me that much anymore but it still does bug me. 3. iampunha. not iamthepunha or poon or imp. iam or pun or punha work just fine. And it is pronounced, if you feel the urge to say it, I-am-pn-HA. Not Poona or anything. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/46 "2000-12-08T22:27:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > It’s pronounced “es-PREE.” It’s a derivitive of the French word _esprit_. Hmm, it’s “derivative” of esprit. It is pronounced precisely the same as esprit. There’s just an X at the end, instead of a T. Could it be that **you** are the one spelling it wrong, **Spree**? :d&r: Sua ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/47 "2000-12-09T02:08:02Z")
It’s “poo **h** pah chalupa” …and no, it has _nothing_ to do with _poop_. Thank you for your time and attention. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/48 "2000-12-09T02:16:30Z")
Don’t feel too bad, Esprix. I get Guinastasha, Gunastaka, Quin, etc etc… And as for my real name, it’s Kathleen, only I go by Kathi too. That’s Kathi with an I. EVERYONE forgets! ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/49 "2000-12-09T02:36:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*…An online friend just had a baby way early and the little thing is struggling. They named her Alison. A-L-I-S-O-N. I realize there are many ways to spell it, but this is what they chose, and mom typed it several times for us to see it. > > Yet I keep seeing messages from other people on our mailing list reading, “Poor Alyson!” And “I’m praying for Allison!” I feel like screaming. Can you not get this one thing correct? The poor wee girl is lying in a plastic bassinet with tubes and wires going every which way. Could you at least get her goddamn name right?..\*\* I used to be friends with a girl named Alyson Allison. I witnessed a great deal of patience from her dealing with spelling her name for people who, when she’d finish the first name and start spelling the last, they’d cross off what they’d just written, thinking they must’ve gotten it wrong somehow. Huh? What’s worse is, her middle name is Ann. Why? Because she’s “an Allison,” as in Alyson, an Allison, hence Alyson Ann Allison. Her parents should’ve been shot AFAIC. And Esprix, lighten up. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/50 "2000-12-09T04:52:47Z")
Actually, IRL my name is _not_ TVeblen, or Veb. Let’s just say it’s short, deceptively simple and _nobody_ outside of my immediate family gets it “right”. No, my parents weren’t sadists, hanging the moniker on my helpless infant self, they just applied an old fashioned name–and stuck to the traditional pronunciation even though a brief celebrity association warped how my name is said. Oddly enough, people routinely spell it wrong as well. The fact that both my maiden and married names were distinctly unusual just compounded the fracture. People have mangled my name(s) for as long as I can remember. _And it doesn’t matter_. They aren’t doing it be rude, must making an innocent mistake. I realize that names can mean identity, “me-ness” to people, so this is a purely individual reaction, not a universal truth. But on the grand scale of things to get upset about, it doesn’t register with me. Veb–who isn’t, really. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/51 "2000-12-09T05:17:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > **Actually, IRL my name is _not_ TVeblen, or Veb.** NO! Say it ain’t so, Vebbie!! > [@](#): > > **Let’s just say it’s short, deceptively simple and _nobody_ outside of my immediate family gets it “right”.** Either I’m insulted or I’ve just received the highest compliment to have been included amongst those you consider family. 😃 > [@](#): > > **on the grand scale of things to get upset about, it doesn’t register with me.** Esprix might do well to take a lesson from the hijack [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28361) took when **Coldfire** got my name wrong. Sincerely, **Shanya, Shitna, Sayanara, Sharona, Shawna, Shaneequa** or anything else you want to call me. _I don’t care what you call me, so long as you call me for dinner!_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2000, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/52 "2000-12-10T19:45:42Z")
**TVeblen** , I have to agree with you on not minding when one’s name gets mangled. I can’t imagine there’s anyone not named John Smith this doesn’t happen to. Case in point: my own name, Greg Duke. How can a name like that be messed up? Well, here are a few examples from the past _year_: Geoff Duke Greg Dulle Greg Dulli (also the name of the lead singer of The Afghan Whigs) Greg Dyke (also the name of the Director-General of the BBC) Greg Buke Gary Duke There’s only eight letters in my whole name! With this track record, I’m surprised that anyone with a more difficult-to-spell name ever has theirs spelt correctly. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/53 "2000-12-11T03:12:00Z")
If I introduce myself to you as Elizabeth, say “hi, this is Elizabeth” when I call you on the phone, and sign every email I send with either “Elizabeth” or “E,” **why do you keep calling me Liz**? It’s **not** my name! I can understand misspelling. My maiden name was not easy to spell, and I was very nice about correcting it when people did so (even my advisor who was still spelling it wrong after seven years). But it really annoys me when people tell me to my face that they can’t be bothered to pronounce four whole syllables. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/55 "2013-12-11T21:09:17Z")
So, that’s Z-O-M… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/56 "2013-12-11T21:12:18Z")
B-I-E… ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/57 "2013-12-11T21:15:16Z")
> [@shaynahasnoclue](#): > > Yes, let’s fight ignorance! > > Shayna: You might have thought twice about putting someone’s name on the internet without their consent and the ramifications it would cause. Would you appreciate the same?:rolleyes::dubious::smack: Wow Allyson Anne Allison, you sure know how to hold on to a grudge. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/58 "2013-12-11T21:25:51Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Wow Allyson Anne Allison, you sure know how to hold on to a grudge. And that’s not even Alyson- it’s her child! You know it’s a powerful grudge when even your children are holding on to it for her! ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/59 "2013-12-11T21:29:46Z")
I’m kind of curious to know what Shayna wished would happen to the parents/grandparents and what their sad demise was. ETA: Why would anyone be looking for family history on the Dope anyway? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/60 "2013-12-11T21:34:17Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > ETA: Why would anyone be looking for family history on the Dope anyway? They Googled the name and this thread came up, I would suspect. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556/61 "2013-12-11T21:34:24Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Why would anyone be looking for family history on the Dope anyway? My guess is that they were searching generally on the Net, and found the 13-year-old Dope post. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-spell-my-fucking-name-right/44556.md?page=4)