# Could you please stop making straight men look like ignorant fucks?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [June 2, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207 "2003-06-02T20:10:38Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/121 "2003-06-04T16:29:25Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by **Narrad** _
> 
> Perhaps your audience would be more receptive if
> 
> (1) You acknowledged that “_this_ ignorant”, “ignorant fucks” and “wastes of sperm” were inappropriate in this case. The consensus is that the remarks in question were unfunny, but hardly deserving of such a level of bile.

There is no such consensus, and the remarks are more than “unfunny.” My OP stands.

> [@](#):
>
> (2) You realised that the title of this very thread is similarly inappropriate. The remarks made in the linked threads _do not_ make straight men appear like ignorant fucks, or _anything_ for that matter. Your disclaimer – not all straight men are so offensive – is irrelevant since the assertion is completely false.

When ignorant straight men make ignorant remarks, it is human nature to extend the disgust you feel towards them to their entire social group; in this case, straight men. I know plenty of lesbians who actively avoid the company of _all_ straight men because of jackasses who make these remarks, as it has only ever been straight men who have made the remarks to them. I do not blame them for being burned. Intellectually, we all realize that not all straight men are like these few ignorant fucks, but sometimes it’s hard to make that differentiation when consistently faced with only the stupid ones. Similarly, I am fully cognizant that people have a bad impression of the gay community because of ignorant things that a minority of gay people have done; I consider it my responsibility to remind people that the gay community is as diverse as humanity itself, and that those few are not representative of the entire community.

I’m sure that’ll give my detractors something more to berate me about, but there it is.

Esprix

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**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/122 "2003-06-04T16:35:48Z")

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Electrical engineering? Geez, pick a topic I know almost nothing about, even.

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**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/123 "2003-06-04T16:38:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Esprix \*  
> When ignorant straight men make ignorant remarks, it is human nature to extend the disgust you feel towards them to their entire social group; in this case, straight men.

This is patently not true, and does not reflect well upon you, in my opinion. You are admitting to succumbing to prejudice on a regular basis.

It is entirely possible to feel disgust for a particular person without being disgusted by his or her entire social group.

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**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/124 "2003-06-04T16:46:40Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tdn \*  
> \*\*So you’re saying you can’t resistor? \*\*

I think there’s a “transistor” joke in there somewhere but I shall refrain from posting it pending review by GenderPAC.

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**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/125 "2003-06-04T16:59:17Z")

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**Otto** , there is a trans group called TranSisters out there somewhere. I forget what their focus is.

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**Author:** ![presidebt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c37758/32.png) [@presidebt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/presidebt)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/126 "2003-06-04T17:01:33Z")

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I have to say, I think it is pretty disgusting when men make these jokes. If it excites you guys so much, just rent the pornos and leave the rest of us to imagine that you’re actually real men, instead of human slaves of your own libido. Besides, there are always times when men are exclusively in the company of men, and I wouldn’t begrudge them the jokes in that company. Maybe some women don’t mind, but I do, and my female friends do, both gay and straight. We’re all getting pretty tired of rolling our eyes over it.

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/127 "2003-06-04T17:02:04Z")

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AC/DC?

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/128 "2003-06-04T17:03:40Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Esprix \*  
> \*\*Intellectually, we all realize that not all straight men are like these few ignorant fucks, but sometimes it’s hard to make that differentiation when consistently faced with only the stupid ones.
> 
> (snip)
> 
> I consider it my responsibility to remind people that the gay community is as diverse as humanity itself, and that those few are not representative of the entire community.\*\*

Let me paraphrase what you just said, to be sure that I have it right:

“I refuse to let people paint gays with the same brush, because that is wrong. And I realize that painting all straight men with the same brush is also wrong. However, I choose to do so anyway, because I’ve met enough jerks to justify my bigotry.”

Is that a fair assessment?

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**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/129 "2003-06-04T17:05:21Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Esprix \*  
> \*\*There is no such consensus, and the remarks are more than “unfunny.” My OP stands.
> 
> When ignorant straight men make ignorant remarks, it is human nature to extend the disgust you feel towards them to their entire social group; in this case, straight men. I know plenty of lesbians who actively avoid the company of _all_ straight men because of jackasses who make these remarks, as it has only ever been straight men who have made the remarks to them. I do not blame them for being burned. Intellectually, we all realize that not all straight men are like these few ignorant fucks, but sometimes it’s hard to make that differentiation when consistently faced with only the stupid ones. Similarly, I am fully cognizant that people have a bad impression of the gay community because of ignorant things that a minority of gay people have done; I consider it my responsibility to remind people that the gay community is as diverse as humanity itself, and that those few are not representative of the entire community.
> 
> I’m sure that’ll give my detractors something more to berate me about, but there it is.
> 
> Esprix \*\*

I, for one, have just lost a ton of respect for you. ☹

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/130 "2003-06-04T17:07:34Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by KellyM \*  
> \*\ ***Otto** , there is a trans group called TranSisters out there somewhere. I forget what their focus is. \*\*

Did they get their tubes tied? I’ll bet they are a well integrated group.

Here, I’ll save you the trouble: :wally

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/131 "2003-06-04T17:09:35Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sauron \*
> 
> This is patently not true, and does not reflect well upon you, in my opinion. You are admitting to succumbing to prejudice on a regular basis.

I admit no such thing; I do, however, admit to being human, and flawed.

> [@](#):
>
> It is entirely possible to feel disgust for a particular person without being disgusted by his or her entire social group.

I agree, and I also would be ecstatically happy if everyone would strive to do likewise, human nature or no.

Esprix

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**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/132 "2003-06-04T17:10:43Z")

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Wow, “straight men” is an entire social group?

**Esprix** , I have to say that this last post really makes you look bad.

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/133 "2003-06-04T17:16:26Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tdn \*
> 
> Let me paraphrase what you just said, to be sure that I have it right:
> 
> “I refuse to let people paint gays with the same brush, because that is wrong. And I realize that painting all straight men with the same brush is also wrong. However, I choose to do so anyway, because I’ve met enough jerks to justify my bigotry.”
> 
> Is that a fair assessment?

It is not a fair assessment, and your paraphrasing is incorrect, as _I never painted all straight men with the same brush._

To repeat what I said in the other thread:

> [@](#):
>
> **If any straight man, anywhere, ever got the impression that I meant in any way to infer that _all_, or even a majority, of straight men are ignorant fucks, I apologize to them.**

But thanks for trying. I appreciate everyone’s efforts to make this all about me.

And **Hamlet** , I’m sorry that relating my experiences with my lesbian friends has somehow lessened me in your view.

Oh, and for all those who feel I’m applying a double standard, I think that gay guys who make rude comments to straight guys are equally as ignorant.

Esprix

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/134 "2003-06-04T17:21:21Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by porcupine \*
> 
> Wow, “straight men” is an entire social group?

Why not?

And I can only relate the experience of some of my lesbian friends, who really do automatically dislike any straight man they meet because of the few clods who say these ignorant things. Is it fair? No. Is it understandable? Yes. Of course I have my own prejudices - red flags go up every time I meet a self-proclaimed Christian, for example - because of past experiences with that group. Is it fair? No. Is it understandable? Yes. Do I work towards overcoming that part of my human nature? Every day.

Esprix

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**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/135 "2003-06-04T17:25:53Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by DocCathode \*  
> \*\*Next Week-Anthracite Gets Doc All Revved Up \*\*

No, I have a feeling she would leave you coaled.

Thank you, I’ll be here all thread, ladies and gentlemen.

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**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/136 "2003-06-04T17:32:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Esprix \*  
> \*\*And **Hamlet** , I’m sorry that relating my experiences with my lesbian friends has somehow lessened me in your view.  
> Esprix \*\*

It wasn’t relating the experiences about your friends, or your distaste for the an offensive joke. It was the admission of stereotyping, and the biases inherent in your posts. I’m relieved you are working on minimizing those issues, and thank you for your concern for my opinion. Best of Luck.

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**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/137 "2003-06-04T17:35:03Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by KellyM \*  
> \*\*Electrical engineering? Geez, pick a topic I know almost nothing about, even. \*\*

Wade a secant.

I thought you were a comp geek and electrical wiz.

and now you say you’re not.

You think that you understand certain things, that there are rules. And then, you see a square moon in the night sky. Or you go home and find that nobody recognizes you. Or the grass screams when you step on it. And things don’t make sense any more. And your begins tearing. Not just at the edges, but everywhere. And you don’t know what to do because you can’t even trust yourself to be what you thought you were. You can only shut your eyes and cover your ears and hope to survive birth from one world to the next.

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/138 "2003-06-04T17:48:47Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Esprix \*  
> Of course I have my own prejudices - red flags go up every time I meet a self-proclaimed Christian, for example - because of past experiences with that group. Is it fair? No. Is it understandable? Yes. Do I work towards overcoming that part of my human nature? Every day.

I dunno, **'Spree** , I don’t think you’re being unfair. When I see quotes like [this](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A9956-2003Jun3.html) from people in Eric Rudolph’s hometown:

> [@](#):
>
> “If he did that Olympic bombing he should be punished,” Linda Holloway added. “But as far as those abortion clinics and the gay club is concerned, he shouldn’t be punished for that. You see, those things are not right in the sight of God.”

I tend to think fundies are not my friends.

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/139 "2003-06-04T17:51:16Z")

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Yeah, but then you meant Christians like **Polycarp** and others on this board, and it makes ya think. 🙂

Esprix

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-please-stop-making-straight-men-look-like-ignorant-fucks/179207/140 "2003-06-04T18:05:02Z")

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Ah, but I said fundies, not Christians in general. The last time I checked, **Polycarp** , **Duck Duck Goose** , **Triskadecamus** and company were moderate humanist Christians, and not fundamentalists like **His4Ever** and **JerseyDiamond**.

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