# Could you put a life size erect golden metal or plastic penis on your car's hood as a hood ornament? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 2, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665 "2009-09-02T18:48:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/21 "2009-09-03T19:04:58Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Not around here. > > I put one on my car and within a week the power company had a restraining order against me. I think I’ve just been whoooshed. ---
**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/22 "2009-09-03T19:17:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \<---------------------Warning: This site may install malware on your computer. Yipes! Pardon. See, just one more reason to hate those things. ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/23 "2009-09-03T19:21:07Z")
A man with an ornament like that must think himself inphallible! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/24 "2009-09-03T20:56:41Z")
> [@stuthehistoryguy](#): > > I think I’ve just been whoooshed. Would you like it explained? Or is it over your head? Thats a hint right there son 🙂 Come on, you can work it out! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/25 "2009-09-03T20:57:51Z")
> [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](#): > > A man with an ornament like that must think himself inphallible! And his taste inpeckerable. ---
**Author:** ![scm1001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@scm1001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scm1001)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/26 "2009-09-03T21:26:31Z")
you can put one on, but the angle of the dangle must be less than 45 degrees. ---
**Author:** ![jakesteele](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@jakesteele](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jakesteele)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/27 "2009-09-03T21:27:55Z")
The answer is simple. Pay $50.00 online to become a pastor in the Universal Life Church. It is totally legit, you can legally marry people, do funerals and best of all it is tax exempt. They encourage you to start your own church so all you’ve got to do is start the Universal Life Church of the Golden Phallic. This will allow you to proudly display a big golden stiffy for a hood ornament. You will also be able to wear a fat golden weenie on a gold chain around your neck so the chicks will know what you’re all about. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/28 "2009-09-03T22:10:41Z")
> [@scm1001](#): > > you can put one on, but the angle of the dangle must be less than 45 degrees. Make it out of soft rubber, so it just flops around randomly in the slipstream. ---
**Author:** ![Never\_Say\_Dice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee59a6/32.png) [@Never\_Say\_Dice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Never_Say_Dice)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/29 "2009-09-03T22:15:51Z")
If it’s based on Michelangelo’s David, then it has redeeming social significance. ---
**Author:** ![qazwart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@qazwart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qazwart)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665/30 "2009-09-04T05:09:56Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I heard Isaac Hayes did this to his Rolls Royce back in the day. If you want to be pimp stylin’ could you accessorize you car this way and not be arrested or legally harassed? I mean they have [bull balls](http://www.bullsballs.com/)for trucks so who’s to say you can’t have a penis up front. It would probably depend upon the local jurisdiction. I have a friend in old 'bama, and they don’t take to kindly to trunk nuts in his town. Well. they like trunk nuts. They just don’t like it when those truck nuts place those testicle sack replica on their truck hitch. Porn prosecution is local and it all has to do with _community standards_ and some communities don’t stand for very much. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-put-a-life-size-erect-golden-metal-or-plastic-penis-on-your-cars-hood-as-a-hood-ornament/508665.md?page=1)