# Could you repeat that in English please? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2006, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282 "2006-11-30T03:22:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/41 "2006-12-01T03:21:46Z")
That’s kind of fun. What a fellowship, what a joy divine, Leaning on the everlasting arms; What a blessedness, what a peace is mine, Leaning on the everlasting arms. Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms; Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms. That friendship, thinks about the mistrust the joy, inclinzione eternal of the handspikes; That wealth, of which it is peace of the mines, in inclinzione eternal of the handspikes. Folding, center-it used, reliable and strong box of all the receipts requested; Folding, a doblez, hanging in the handspikes to eter to us. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/42 "2006-12-01T03:31:01Z")
Original: I would rather have seen Kate Beckinsale’s vagina than Britney Spears’ disappointing crotch. Translated to: Very to rather would see the vagina of Kate Beckinsale this the disappointing cramp of the nipples of Britney. Methinks the translator has a problem with either directions or anatomy. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/43 "2006-12-01T03:39:19Z")
Heh. We used to do this manually using babelfish years ago, on ridiculous or illiterate posts. This is much easier. Starting from Sing us a song, you’re the piano man. Sing us a song tonight. Oh, we’re all in the mood for a melody and you’ve got us feeling all right. **Translated to French:** Chantez-nous une chanson, vous sont l’homme de piano. Chantez-nous une chanson ce soir. Ah, nous sommes tous dans l’humeur pour une mélodie et vous nous avez se sentant bien. **Translated back to English:** Sing to us a song, are to you the man of piano. Sing to us a song this evening. Ah, we all are in mood for a melody and you have us smelling itself well. **Translated to German:** Singen Sie uns ein Lied, seien Sie zu Ihnen der Mann des Klaviers. Singen Sie uns ein Lied heute abend. Amperestunde, alle sind wir in der Stimmung für eine Melodie und Sie haben uns, gut uns zu riechen. **Translated back to English:** If you sing a song to us, you are to you the man of the piano. Sing to us a song this evening. Ampere-hour, everything are we in the tendency for a melody and you have us to smell well us. **Translated to Italian:** Se cantate una canzone noi, siete a voi l’uomo del piano. Canti noi una canzone questa sera. L’amperora, tutto è noi nella tendenza per una melodia e li avete per sentirli l’odore di bene. **Translated back to English:** If sung a song we, you are to you the man of the plan. Songs we one song this evening. The ampere-hour, all is we in the tendency for a melodia and you have in order to feel them them the odore well. **Translated to Portuguese:** Se cantado uma canção nós, você somos-lhe o homem da planta. Canções nós uma canção esta noite. Todo o ampère-hora, é nós na tendência para um melodia e você tem a fim senti-los elas o poço do odore. **Translated back to English:** If sung a song we, you are to it the man of the plant. Songs we a song this night. All the ampere-hour, is we in the trend for a melody and you it has the end sentiz them they it well of odore. **Translated to Spanish:** Si están cantados una canción, usted somos a ella el hombre de la planta. Canciones nosotros una canción esta noche. Todo el amperio hora, es nosotros en la tendencia para una melodía y usted él tiene el sentiz del extremo ellas ellas él bien del odore. **Translated back to English:** If they are sung a song, you we are to her the man of the plant. Songs we a song tonight. All the ampere hour, is we in the tendency for one melodía and you he have the sentiz of the end they they he of odore well. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/44 "2006-12-01T03:46:26Z")
Oh, even better! See if you can guess the original. **Translated to French:** Il fait une liste et la contrôle deux fois. Aller découvrir qui a vilain ou gentil. Le père noël vient à la ville. **Translated back to English:** It makes a list and controls twice it. To go to discover which has unpleasant or nice. The Father Christmas comes to the city. **Translated to German:** Es bildet eine Liste und Kontrollen zweimal es. Gehen, zu entdecken, welches unangenehmes oder nettes hat. Das Vater-Weihnachten kommt zur Stadt. **Translated back to English:** It forms a list and checks twice it. Go discovering which unpleasant or nice has. Father Christmas comes to the city. **Translated to Italian:** Forma una lista e la controlla due volte. Vada scoprire quale sgradevole o piacevole ha. Il padre Natale viene alla città. **Translated back to English:** Form a list and it it controls two times. It goes to discover which unpleasant or pleasant it has. The father Born them comes to the city. **Translated to Portuguese:** Dê forma a uma lista e ele controla duas vezes. Vai descobrir que desagradável ou agradável tem. O pai carregado lhes vem à cidade. **Translated back to English:** It gives form to a stack and it it controls two times. It goes to discover that ackward or pleasant it has. The loaded father comes to them to the city. **Translated to Spanish:** Da la forma una pila y él él los controles dos veces. Va a descubrir que el ackward o agradable él tiene. El padre cargado viene a ellos a la ciudad. **Translated back to English:** It twice gives to the form a battery and he he them controls. It is going to discover that ackward or pleasant he has. The loaded father comes to them to the city. (“The loaded father”…yeah, that sounds about right.) **Original English Text:** He’s making a list and checking it twice. Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice. Santa Claus is coming to town. I’ll stop now. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/45 "2006-12-01T06:50:40Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] I couldn’t resist s’more Adams: [/QUOTE] It’s turned the Babel Fish vs God debate into what could pass for genuine 19th-century philosophy: > [@](#): > > To take with a diverse agreement is improbable, of that so evolved/moved mindbogglingly to something useful he could have for the coincidence that some philosophers if it is had determined to see that it appreciates the extremity and the one that if folding in the test of the Nichtvorhandseins of the God. > > The argument goes to something of such way: vestigial of "I to the end to this I exist, " he admits like the God, rejects the test of the “for the faith and > without the faith they are nothing.” "But, " the fish admits straight of the confusion of “the that the damaged gift is not he has taste of him to serve? It could not have evolved/moved for the coincidence. It controls to him that you do not exist therefore and, of his appropriate arguments, you. QED” > > “Oh dear,” he admits because the God, “I not of this, had the thought > of” and he disappears immediately in a breathing of the logic. I especially like the sound of the “Nichtvorhandseins of the God” principles. Must read up on that at some point. ---
**Author:** ![mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mani)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/46 "2006-12-01T09:59:02Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] From now on when we say the Nicene Creed in church I’m sayin’ this: [/quote] Wow, this even makes total sense!. It’s a new anti-Christian religion of our time, a creed of some kind of Nitschean existential modernistic nihilism mixed with some totally pointless sexual fantasies of this Viagra-imbursed docu-soap contemopraneity. Let’s see if I can just makes some comments which clarify the the creed a little, while staying true to the holy text: > [@](#): > > Let us create that one the God, in the father, everything-efficient, in the generator of the sky and the track, of everything that is to say, it sights and invisibilmente. That _God_ fellow doesn’t exist [anymore, see below], so let’s create him, in that almightily efficient machine of ours which we call the _Father Machine_, with which we’ve already generated heaven and the railroads, as well as everything else, both the visible and the invisible stuff. > [@](#): > > Let us create one getlteman, Christian of the Jesus, of whom only the son of the God, Let us also create one gentleman whom we shall call “Mr. Christian of the Jesus”, and who will be the only father of God’s son. > [@](#): > > [God,] determined eternally of the father, God of the God, light of the light, that the applicable God of the applicable God, determined, It will be correct for eternity to say of this God fellow that he was created by the Father Machine, for the “father” machine is, so to speak, God’s God, in the same way as it is the “light of light”. For light was of course “determined” by noone else than the “applicable God of the applicable God” itself, i.e. the Father Machine. > [@](#): > > not inside of a way he instructd, that it is with the father. All the things had been constituted of him. When God still existed, he instructed us in another way and said that light is “determined” by the Father Machine in the sense that they exist together with each other. But the truth is otherwise and cannot be found inside that instruction which God gave us. Because at the time when this God fellow said this, we had already killed him and used his body parts as raw material for all the stuff which we manufactured with the machine. So all things came to consist of him. > [@](#): > > For us and our emergency one we saw underneath her we are of the sky: As for us, we are heavenly beings, and so is our sense of existential emergency (which emergency, by the way, is a special kind of emergency which we first experienced when we sat underneath the Father Machine [here lovingly referred to as “she”]). > [@](#): > > he was understood of vergine of Maria and constituted of the energy of the alcohol of Santo, God, on the other hand, stood above the virginity of Maria, and we created him out of the energy of Santa Claus’s alcohol. > [@](#): > > decree that is equipped. In ours crucifié of the age of intéret under Pontius Pilatus; What has just been said is an official decree, a decree equipped with a penis. This penis was crucified by this capitalist “age of interest”. The crucifixion was over in a couple of 'ours. Pontius Pilatus was crucified on another cross hanging above the penis. > [@](#): > > it underwent inoperative women and it was inserted. The penis was put below women who couldn’t have an orgasm, and it was inserted into these women. > [@](#): > > The third day to him still is magnified in agreement with Scriptures; We still celebrate Pontius Pilatus Day each Wednesday, in agreement with the Scriptures. > [@](#): > > it is assembled in the sky and one is based with the right hand of the father. As for the penis, it was first assembled in heaven. There are also other penises, and every father’s right hand tends to stay close to the location of his penis. > [@](#): > > The reputation entered the calm, ordered to judge the duration and the inoperative men and the relative kingdom do not have an extremity. A rumour that fathers tend to masturbate was heard by those calm guys whose work it is to judge the duration [of a coitus, during “World’s longest sexual intercourse” record breaking attempt]. Those calm guys are inoperative, i.e. they do not have a penis. Neither do any of the people in their fatherland. > [@](#): > > Let us create the alcohol of Santo, getlteman, in the donor of the duration, that continues, beginning of the father and the son. Anyway, in order to create this God fellow again, let us therefore create the alcohol of Santa Claus. The alcohol of Santa Claus should be called a true “gentleman”, in the sense that it is the donor of that remarkable sexual endurance which makes it possible for a father to procreate and get a son. > [@](#): > > With the father and the son they admire it and they improve. When the inoperative calm guys get together with such a sexually proficient father and his new son, they admire this wonder of sexual endurance and they improve themselves in sexual matters. > [@](#): > > He spoke of the Prophete. Let us create catholic of the church of apostolic Santo and. We found a baptism for the decree of sins. God spoke of the Prophet, and lots of other cool stuff. Let’s create such cool stuff ourselves too, like the “catholic of the church of apostolic Santa Claus” and so on. That will be the solution for all our problems. > [@](#): > > Interior we observed the Auferstehung of the inoperative men and the ignited duration of the world, ordered coming. Love. We looked inside all the inoperative men in the world, and inside them we observed their erection (Auferstehung) and how long they could stay sexually ignited. And we gave orders to the inoperative men that they should ejaculate. Love. So, if I had been a fundamentalist Christian, I would obviously have taken this is as a divine sign: automatic Babelfish translation is bad: “[6] And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. [7] Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/47 "2006-12-01T10:08:12Z")
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again became Iron gate lozione in the relative skin, or still receives the tube ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/48 "2006-12-01T16:05:53Z")
The results after two or three retranslations resemble some of the spam e-mails, or the instructions for a cheap digital watch. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/49 "2006-12-01T18:52:15Z")
[QUOTE=David Simmons] The results after two or three retranslations resemble some of the spam e-mails, or the instructions for a cheap digital watch. [/QUOTE] Dang, I think you are on to something. I happen to have a wireless mouse at my desk. Part of the instructions read > [@](#): > > You can use your wireless optical mouse freely and improve your efficency and enjoy your beautiful life from the high technology After running it through Japanese and Chinese, I get: > [@](#): > > The radio optical mouse freely is used from the advanced technology, > enjoys the adding the life, is beautiful it is possible efficency It’s only after getting it back from Portuguese that we get: > [@](#): > > The ótico rat through the radio is liberations used, appraisals of > the new technology, the end to add the duration, is it is in the > pretty way efficency possible ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/50 "2006-12-01T19:23:10Z")
here’s some old favorites: \*\*I burning your dog \*\*_becomes:_ Its burned being of the dog \*\*When come back, bring pie. \*\* _becomes:_ A time that this buttock of decreased/gone you they obtain to cake of the meat **What if Lord of the Rings had been wrtten by someone else?** _becomes:_ that thing, if it is gentleman of the cycles somebody of another one will be written? ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/51 "2006-12-01T20:49:01Z")
Possibly \_ and for ours is ingualmente in the geniuses of the ventilator and of this landing of dispendio of the immovable characteristics and to this thrown, our console and the fights we e, ours and to the fights he, we and to the fights and these assemblies this, that uses and with and the fights it stops it; \_ nonli has the interior of the hand in a certain circumstance \_ What? Don’t recognise it? Try this: We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/52 "2006-12-01T21:27:03Z")
Come on everybody, sing along! You know the words! With of good of it pospones behind expert and sense a history, a history of a mortal travels he. This begun, of this tropical furrow to eliminate this small boat on the brink of madness. The support was efficient man of sailin’, of the face of the reliable captain and Five passengers had fixed the candle, day, for three hours a Exkursion, three hours a Exkursion . . . ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/53 "2006-12-01T21:33:44Z")
“Go fly a kite” becomes A red red deer of the flight goes Moscow ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/54 "2006-12-01T21:34:32Z")
[QUOTE=Tastes of Chocolate] Dang, I think you are on to something. I happen to have a wireless mouse at my desk. Part of the instructions read [/QUOTE] I have long contended that the instruction for many producs were written in Chinese and translated into English by a Maylay grade schooler. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/55 "2006-12-01T22:14:20Z")
By the way I’d like to wish all of you a… **Happy loaded they and a new lucky person of the year** ---
**Author:** ![Alpine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpine/32/17813_2.png) [@Alpine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpine)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282/56 "2006-12-01T23:31:20Z")
And in honor of [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=398428) : Unemployment to them considered the awaited day the white man loaded vainly of me that unemployment. (I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-repeat-that-in-english-please/382282.md?page=2)