# Could you write a book? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 17, 2016, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429 "2016-04-17T01:19:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/81 "2016-04-25T01:22:58Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > _Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay._ - Christopher Hitchens OUCH! – I want to write the books that are within me! ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/82 "2016-04-25T01:24:20Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Define “book”. > > I wrote a PhD thesis? Definitely long and complicated enough. It was fairly hard and time consuming. I also wrote a PhD thesis – very dull and boring. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/83 "2016-04-25T01:25:20Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Actually, wait. I did, in fact, “publish” one of those weird bestiality porn Amazon books as kind of an experiment. (It’s made me, like, twenty bucks, which is twenty bucks I wouldn’t have otherwise.) Did any copies sell? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/84 "2016-04-25T02:08:39Z")
That’s the implication; the twenty dollars came from at least twenty sales. (Amazon’s Kindle self-publishing has a minimum of 99 cents per copy.) Apparently, there’s a strong (!) market for pseudo-bestiality porn. At least one writer is making a comfortable income that way. He writes “werewolf” porn, so that the bestiality is hidden behind a fig-leaf of deniability. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/85 "2016-04-25T11:28:06Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > That’s the implication; the twenty dollars came from at least twenty sales. (Amazon’s Kindle self-publishing has a minimum of 99 cents per copy.) > > Apparently, there’s a strong (!) market for pseudo-bestiality porn. At least one writer is making a comfortable income that way. He writes “werewolf” porn, so that the bestiality is hidden behind a fig-leaf of deniability. “Gee!” she said, as the werewolf ravished her,“It’s a good thing you’re not a REAL wolf, or I’d be in trouble.” (And nine months later she gave birth to a fine litter of puppies.) ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/86 "2016-04-25T14:48:50Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > That’s the implication; the twenty dollars came from at least twenty sales. (Amazon’s Kindle self-publishing has a minimum of 99 cents per copy.) > > Apparently, there’s a strong (!) market for pseudo-bestiality porn. At least one writer is making a comfortable income that way. He writes “werewolf” porn, so that the bestiality is hidden behind a fig-leaf of deniability. Yup, sales come from actual sales and also from this Kindle Unlimited thing where they pay you for pages read. So I’ve had, let me see, seven whole sales and more-than-that borrows via Kindle Unlimited (pay for that is divided up among all authors and by page, so it fluctuates.) I read one of those articles about people making crazy money writing pseudo-bestiality porn, so I drank half a bottle of wine and wrote one just to see what happens. Of course, to make real money at it you need volume, you have to keep, uh, pumping them out. I just haven’t felt inspired since the first one, although, I mean, it continues to make a little bit of money without me doing anything at all. I wish enough people would buy it that somebody would write a review - that would help a lot. Maybe I’d make _thirty_ dollars then! And no, I am never in a million years going to divulge which one and about what. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/87 "2016-04-25T19:43:23Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Yup, sales come from actual sales and also from this Kindle Unlimited thing where they pay you for pages read. So I’ve had, let me see, seven whole sales and more-than-that borrows via Kindle Unlimited (pay for that is divided up among all authors and by page, so it fluctuates.) I read one of those articles about people making crazy money writing pseudo-bestiality porn, so I drank half a bottle of wine and wrote one just to see what happens. > > Of course, to make real money at it you need volume, you have to keep, uh, pumping them out. I just haven’t felt inspired since the first one, although, I mean, it continues to make a little bit of money without me doing anything at all. I wish enough people would buy it that somebody would write a review - that would help a lot. Maybe I’d make _thirty_ dollars then! > > And no, I am never in a million years going to divulge which one and about what. Thanks for sharing. That raises another question – do people who write unpopular books and articles get more then a fair share of abuse? ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/88 "2016-04-25T19:44:57Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Apparently, there’s a strong (!) market for pseudo-bestiality porn. At least one writer is making a comfortable income that way. He writes “werewolf” porn, so that the bestiality is hidden behind a fig-leaf of deniability. But they probably receive more then a fair share of moral rage. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/89 "2016-04-25T21:27:04Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Thanks for sharing. That raises another question – do people who write unpopular books and articles get more then a fair share of abuse? Well people who write Kindle porn generally do not use their real names. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/90 "2016-04-27T02:02:10Z")
I finished the first draft of a novel today. No one gives a shit, but I did. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/91 "2016-04-27T02:05:12Z")
Hey! Lots of us give a shit! I mean, seriously, congratulations! What’s the subject, genre, etc.? What’s it about? Hooray, yay, confetti in the air, rah rah, stamp-stamp-thump-thump, and butcher the fatted calf! ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/92 "2016-04-27T02:22:19Z")
It’s a historical, a romantic adventure about a couple who meet in the Whiskey Rebellion and make their way north to the Canadian fur trade. The first draft is the most troublesome I’ve ever written. I think it’s about 55% of the way to where it needs to be before I send it to my agent, but … you know. Today I wrote “The End” so tonight I am drinking. And plotting the next one. Thanks, by the way. A little attention goes a long way in this business. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/93 "2016-04-27T02:42:11Z")
Congrats Sattua. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/94 "2016-04-27T04:26:05Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > It’s a historical, a romantic adventure about a couple who meet in the Whiskey Rebellion and make their way north to the Canadian fur trade. Sounds just like my cuppa! I just read Helen Hunt Jackson’s famous Ramona, and the less famous but still worthy The Winning of Barbara Worth by Harold Bell Wright (I only just now learned there had been a movie!) I love historical adventures, and a touch of romance is great! > [@](#): > > The first draft is the most troublesome I’ve ever written. I think it’s about 55% of the way to where it needs to be before I send it to my agent, but … you know. Today I wrote “The End” so tonight I am drinking. That’s every author’s favorite two-word sentence fragment! First drafts are kind of liberating, in that they can be completely crappy…and that’s fine. A hell of a lot of cruft and guff gets cleaned up in the first re-write. > [@](#): > > And plotting the next one. Yay and yay again! > [@](#): > > Thanks, by the way. A little attention goes a long way in this business. A lot of us here are frustrated would-be writers, and we actually gain confidence from seeing one of our fellows get to the finish line. It helps us all in our self-belief. To put it a bit baldly, “Hey, if he can do it, why can’t I?” We all take courage from your accomplishment, so thank you! Be sure to let us all know when you publish! ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/95 "2016-04-27T16:34:53Z")
I’m available as a beta reader / feedback source for anyone who wishes to have it. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/96 "2016-04-27T19:40:55Z")
Thanks for the book recs, Trinopus. I hadn’t heard of either, but “country wives” and their Metis children are certainly a fact that looms large in this book. I’ll check them out. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/97 "2016-04-28T02:04:56Z")
Sure. I could easily ghostwrite for somebody if they gave me a reasonably fleshed-out understanding of what they wanted. At least, I would be able to do so assuming it wasn’t something that was beyond my capability to understand (like specific scientific or technical stuff). I’ve also been kicking around an idea in my head for a novel for several years. Unfortunately all I have is a title, a few vague ideas for characters, and a beginning. Even the major characters are, as of right now, totally generic, and I only have about a third of the plot in my head, and even then it’s only in the most vague of outlines. ---
**Author:** ![yo\_han\_go](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yo_han_go/32/130_2.png) [@yo\_han\_go](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yo_han_go)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2016, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/98 "2016-04-28T10:20:18Z")
1 SF short story collection, 1 experimental research book and 10 IT manuals (2 as coauthor) in about 25 editions (although only 3 in English, all e-pub only). Some books did sell well. I could live for about a year on a 6 month of work with my best selling book. Some others were waste of time. Now I am completely blank for about 3y. BTW, I had my own (self)publishing business at the time … Nerdy, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/99 "2016-04-29T00:16:44Z")
Wrote one when I was 17. It’s awful in its moralistic simplicity (I was deeply religious) and it’s a bit heavy on melodrama but it’s actually not as terrible as you would expect something like that to be. It was a love story about an alcoholic kid with violent PTSD and his relationship with the daughter of a pastor. Wrote 3/4 of one when I was 23. It was a love story about a half-Japanese woman and a man with serious mental illness and violent PTSD. Finished my first draft of my current novel last year, took about three years. I originally conceived it as non-magical fantasy but a couple of writer friends have convinced me to change it to like a declining civilization sci-fi. It has a pretty tight plot with a lot of action and suspense, but it’s basically a love story about a privileged woman who is secretly a revolutionary and her relationship with a socially ostracized, impoverished man with violent PTSD. Not that there’s a theme to my writing or anything. This most recent novel is the first one I’m serious about getting published. I’m a member of a writer’s group with mostly published writers or writers on their way to getting published. I submitted the first ten pages to an agent for critique, I’m going to a writer’s publishing conference in Chicago, I’ve even restructured my work schedule to allow two days off for writing. I’m trying to make the dream happen. But holy hell is it a lot of work. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2016, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429/100 "2016-05-01T04:42:43Z")
I did. 2001-2003. 1500+ pages. Non-fiction. I shopped around for a publisher, but was rejected. The consensus was that it was \*a compelling story and well written. But, it needed some re-write and extensive editing, and unless I was a celebrity of some sort, it probably wouldn’t sell. \* So, I went back to my day job. It was a cathartic experience, if nothing else. Years before, I had a couple papers published in professional journals. So, I don’t feel like a complete failure as a writer, just a failure at _making money_ as a writer. Maybe, after I retire, I’ll try fiction—that seems a lot more fun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-write-a-book/752429.md?page=6)