# Couldn't of/couldn't have **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 2020, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156 "2020-08-15T05:34:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/61 "2020-08-16T21:23:16Z")
Can’t blame that one on her. The first one I was sure she was responsible for, because she was lying across the keyboard when I came back inside, but since then I’ve had a string of weird posts, and some friends received some weird emails, and there was a strange post to Facebook that were clearly a mishmash of things from my clipboard, and occasionally a quote from the MB or wherever the post was. I did a little experimenting, and it really seemed to be happening with just the one laptop-- it would happen if I’d do something and leave it opened-- so I reinstalled the OS. I might just have to stop using it until I can take it in; problem is, all my religious school stuff is on it. It’s a lot of stuff to transfer over. It’s also easier to use (usually) than my others-- but it’s the one with the intermittent loss of touchscreen. Returning you to your regular thread. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/62 "2020-08-16T21:26:47Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Irregardlessly, I coulda cared less about whom makes your head literally esplode. I would have said, “Irregardlessly, I coulda cared less about whom what like makes your head literally esplode.” But that’s just me. I was raised by two English major journalists who daily drilled proper grammar and spelling into my siblings and me. I don’t thank them. American English as it is written nowadays is pure torture to read. I try hard not to comment, but every error jumps out like a stab in the eye. I’ve given up on: It’s v. its Loose v. lose Literally All right v. alright Irregardless Healthful v. healthy (Really? Is your food healthy?) Things I miss: To be. Honestly, is it so much more trouble to say, “It needs TO BE fixed”? Gawd. An. “I’ll be there in a hour,” makes me want to rip my ears off. Reign, rein, rain. Forget it, Jake. It’s Illiterate Town. A new favorite: “I stepped foot over the line.” No, you idiot. You SET foot over the line. Which brings me to: You did not TOW the line. You TOED the line. Honestly, I could do dozens of these. I see them all. I wish I didn’t. They make me weep inside. Silently, for the most part. No one loves a grammar Nazi. @kaylasdad99… _SCREAM!!!_ ETA: Oh!! How could I have forgotten affect v. effect? One of the worst. I’ve given up on this one, too. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/63 "2020-08-16T21:36:09Z")
I’m good with “alright”. It fills a need. “How were the answers on the test?” “They were all right.” is different than “They were alright.” ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/64 "2020-08-16T21:47:57Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > ETA: Oh!! How could I have forgotten affect v. effect? One of the worst. That one is a lot of fun because both versions of the spelling can be either a noun or a verb! Four different meanings, not just two! There’s a place in town where “XYZ Drug’s” is right next door to “Don Jose Mexican Food.” ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/65 "2020-08-16T22:01:22Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I miss “whom,” which seems to have completely vanished from common English usage. Good Lord, I wish _whom_ and _whomever_ would vanish from English usage because I see and hear those two words far too often used as subject pronouns. Incorrect: Give the award to whomever guesses the correct number of beans in the jar. Correct: Give the award to whoever guesses the correct number of beans in the jar. Incorrect: Whom is leading the polls now? Correct: Who is leading the polls now? The worst example of incorrect pronoun usage I’ve ever heard, though, is from a comedian (Bill Engvall, Jeff Foxworthy, or Ron White–certainly not Larry the Cable Guy because I cannot stand listening to his stupidity). The comedian in question said “My wife and I’s”. I have no idea what followed because that’s the only time in my life I’ve heard the possessive pronoun “I’s” and was so stunned that someone whose job is dependent on his ability to communicate said such a thing that I missed the rest of the sentence. I just did a web search for “my wife and I’s” and am now more disappointed in our species. My hope was to discover which comedian I heard make that utterance. Do the search yourself if you do not have enough despair in your life. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/66 "2020-08-16T22:02:06Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > To be. Honestly, is it so much more trouble to say, “It needs TO BE fixed”? Gawd. Is this much more common now? I’ve always noted that as a quirk of Pittsburgh-ese (and surrounding areas) English. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/67 "2020-08-16T22:46:50Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > The comedian in question said “My wife and I’s”. I have no idea what followed because that’s the only time in my life I’ve heard the possessive pronoun “I’s” and was so stunned that someone whose job is dependent on his ability to communicate said such a thing that I missed the rest of the sentence. This type of joint possession is actually an interesting grammatical question. I personally see no problem with “[my wife and I]'s” logically, though I understand that will ring wrong to many speakers of English. I would say “me and my wife’s,” and nobody in my dialect would blink an eye except for the language mavens, but that’s an inelegant solution as well. How would you construct it without completely restructuring the sentence (which I usually find to be a cheat, because sometimes we want to say things in a certain order, and with a certain emphasis.) [Language log take on it.](https://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=706) ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/68 "2020-08-16T22:56:32Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Is this much more common now? I’ve always noted that as a quirk of Pittsburgh-ese (and surrounding areas) English. I hear/read it everywhere now, I’m sorry to say. Even one of the grammar taskmasters (dear old Dad) of my distant childhood and engineer of my grammagony, said it once. I nearly slapped him. He watches Fox “News.” Stupid is as stupid does. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/69 "2020-08-16T22:59:53Z")
This isn’t an English nitpick, but I’ve seen a restaurant called “Amigo’s”. That one effected me bad. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/70 "2020-08-16T23:01:48Z")
That is my wife’s that is mine that is my wife’s and mine. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/71 "2020-08-16T23:05:07Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > I’ve given up on: > > It’s v. its > Loose v. lose > Literally > All right v. alright > Irregardless > Healthful v. healthy (Really? Is your food healthy?) Agreed, but my advice (note: my _advice_, not “my advise”) is do _ **not** _ bring up the “literally” thing on this board. I have, and it’s not pretty. All the Creative Writing types – or whatever the fuck they think they are – come out and claim that “literally” has been abused for hundreds of years by all the best writers to apparently mean its exact opposite. No, it has not, but you will nevertheless be ganged up on, ridiculed, and scorned. What good writers have done is occasionally used “literally” in a non-standard way as a creative form of appropriately expressive, closely related hyperbole, not as an ignorant self-contradiction: - F. Scott Fitzgerald: “He literally glowed; without a word or a gesture of exultation a new well-being radiated from him and filled the little room”. - James Joyce: “The caretaker’s daughter was literally run off her feet”. - Illiterate ignoramus: “I was like, so surprised that, like, my head literally asploded”. As for “healthful” vs. “healthy” food, I think this is a long-lost cause. For better or worse, it’s so deeply ingrained that it has indeed become part of the language whether we like it nor not. > [@Aspenglow](#): > > Which brings me to: You did not TOW the line. You TOED the line. Oh yeah? How about when you’re out in a powerboat and the engine quits, and another boat comes along to help, and you throw them a line. What does the other boat do with that line, huh, smarty-pants? 😜 > [@Aspenglow](#): > > Honestly, I could do dozens of these. I see them all. I wish I didn’t. They make me weep inside. Silently, for the most part. No one loves a grammar Nazi. I do. We need more literacy, especially out here in the wilds of the internet. Please keep doing what you’re doing and don’t give up. > [@Aspenglow](#): > > ETA: Oh!! How could I have forgotten affect v. effect? One of the worst. I’ve given up on this one, too. Yep, that’s another one. Also “then” and “than”. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/72 "2020-08-16T23:05:13Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > That one effected me bad. You were a nice man when you were young. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/73 "2020-08-16T23:09:49Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > I hear/read it everywhere now, I’m sorry to say. Even one of the grammar taskmasters (dear old Dad) of my distant childhood and engineer of my grammagony, said it once. I nearly slapped him. I was wondering that myself, because I first came across that construction about 20-25 years ago. And it really jarred on my ears. Like crazily so. But … well … now I kinda like it. I like local color. I didn’t realize it had become so much more widespread, but, hey, color is what makes language fun to me (as an English major; as someone who also was a copy editor professionally for a spell.) I hate this bitching about language and value judgments about constructions that stray from the norm from the “prestige dialect.” Yes, there is a time and place for this, but color in language is what I love. Like how it’s used in “Treme” or in the “Trainspotting” novel (or movie, but much more apparently in the written word.) This is what makes language beautiful. Sure, not in formal situations, but otherwise, give me color. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/74 "2020-08-16T23:26:00Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > > [@Aspenglow](#): > > > > Which brings me to: You did not TOW the line. You TOED the line. > > Oh yeah? How about when you’re out in a powerboat and the engine quits, and another boat comes along to help, and you throw them a line. What does the other boat do with that line, huh, smarty-pants? 😜 It tows your powerboat. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/75 "2020-08-16T23:26:47Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Agreed, but my advice (note: my _advice_, not “my advise”) is do _ **not** _ bring up the “literally” thing on this board. I have, and it’s not pretty. Indeed. You see people defending horrible misusages like “The Sun is literally the biggest object in the solar system.” Unless you’re using ‘literally’ to refer to words or letters, you’re doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/76 "2020-08-16T23:40:10Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > > [@wolfpup](#): > > > > > [@Aspenglow](#): > > > > > > Which brings me to: You did not TOW the line. You TOED the line. > > > > Oh yeah? How about when you’re out in a powerboat and the engine quits, and another boat comes along to help, and you throw them a line. What does the other boat do with that line, huh, smarty-pants? 😜 > > It tows your powerboat. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/FXeWzbI7v8U/maxresdefault.jpg "I Hate You....") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXeWzbI7v8U) ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/77 "2020-08-16T23:42:16Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I know just enough about correctly using “whom” to think maybe you’re not pulling my leg. I know it sounds nice in my sentence. Not that my it-sounds-nice intuition is all that reliable. I have a set rule that is easy to remember: if you would use “they”, that is where “who” belongs; if you would use “them”, then “whom” would work there. There is no such valid construction as “them’s” (well, maybe “I gave condolences to them’s what got kilt”) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/78 "2020-08-16T23:44:46Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > Also “hone in” instead of “home in.” Although most of the things in this thread drive me batty, that one does not. I have sympathy for making an idiomatic error that nevertheless still makes literal sense. “Hone” makes perfect sense to describe a process of refinement, getting closer to some desired outcome whether literal or metaphorical. I have much less sympathy for using words that don’t mean anything resembling what was meant (of/have, could/couldn’t, loose/lose, etc.). ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/79 "2020-08-16T23:48:24Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > > [@LSLGuy](#): > > > > I know just enough about correctly using “whom” to think maybe you’re not pulling my leg. I know it sounds nice in my sentence. Not that my it-sounds-nice intuition is all that reliable. > > I have a set rule that is easy to remember: if you would use “they”, that is where “who” belongs; if you would use “them”, then “whom” would work there. There is no such valid construction as “them’s” (well, maybe “I gave condolences to them’s what got kilt”) That’s a good system. I used a similar one to get “its” straight when I was younger - since “itself” doesn’t have an apostrophe, the possessive for ‘it’ doesn’t either. Here’s a pet peeve of mine - apostrophes for plural acronyms. The Navy has lots of SSNs - if you write “SSN’s” I’m expecting a noun after that, like “the SSN’s captain.” Same for ATVs, ATMs, etc. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156/80 "2020-08-16T23:55:05Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > I have a set rule that is easy to remember: if you would use “they”, that is where “who” belongs; if you would use “them”, then “whom” would work there. What about here? How would your method work? > [@wolfpup](#): > > I don’t know whom you think has stopped using it, but I don’t think it’s vanished from use in anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couldnt-of-couldnt-have/918156.md?page=5)