# Countdown to colonoscopy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396 "2015-01-31T01:55:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/41 "2015-02-03T06:03:31Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Especially over the fact that for once in your life, you can fart as shamelessly as you like and nobody will complain (however, you won’t be able to light the farts… nor should you attempt it given you’ll be pretty impaired). Oh, man. The nurse in the recovery hallway (it was probably a room, but there were screened off areas to the side and we were all lined up on gurneys, side to side, in what space was left) kept telling us all, one by one, that we had to pass air and that we shouldn’t be embarassed because “it’s the doctor’s air.” The thought of passing someone else’s “air” was just totally hilarious, but I was feeling far to mellow to laugh. So instead I kept smiling little smiles and telling my son about it on the way home. And, apparently, for hours after. My other recurring phrase was “pink as a baby’s behind.” ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/42 "2015-02-03T06:54:59Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > That makes me wonder how many people out there never get colonoscopies because they don’t have any friends or relatives. I postponed mine about a year and a half largely because of this. I finally asked my brother, who lives about a 3-hour drive away, to come be my driver. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/43 "2015-02-03T10:50:21Z")
Its no big deal Leaffan. They’ll ask you for your full name and birth date and the next thing you know, you’ll be in recovery scratching the tip of your nose with a silly grin on your face. I actually look forward to my semi annual exam now. (Cheap Thrills). ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/44 "2015-02-03T12:36:26Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Countdown to colonoscopy! 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 2… 2… You can’t get past a big number 2. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/45 "2015-02-03T14:09:27Z")
Uggh ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/46 "2015-02-03T18:08:07Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > That makes me wonder how many people out there never get colonoscopies because they don’t have any friends or relatives. This was a big deal for me. I had put off mine for about five years because of this difficulty. Essentially, I have only my husband who can do this. At the time, he was working for a company that was just itching to ditch older workers and was documenting anyone’s perceived transgressions. He was eventually laid off from that place, and I’m sure that the day he took off to drive me didn’t do him any good. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/47 "2015-02-03T21:53:18Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > I should have one, but I’m afraid of being put to sleep (or under twilight drugs as well, even though you aren’t technically “put to sleep” then). > > If I have one, I think I’m going to have one without that stuff. I’ll just deal with any/all pain. > > Good luck to you with yours, though! Did you read my post up thread? My ex-husband tried the no drugs route, and he was really committed to doing it that way. In the end it was too painful. Good luck to you, if you choose to do it like that. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/48 "2015-02-03T21:58:46Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Oh, man. The nurse in the recovery hallway (it was probably a room, but there were screened off areas to the side and we were all lined up on gurneys, side to side, in what space was left) kept telling us all, one by one, that we had to pass air and that we shouldn’t be embarassed because “it’s the doctor’s air.” The thought of passing someone else’s “air” was just totally hilarious, but I was feeling far to mellow to laugh. So instead I kept smiling little smiles and telling my son about it on the way home. And, apparently, for hours after. > > My other recurring phrase was “pink as a baby’s behind.” After mine I remember being in a fairly large room with 4 or 5 other people laying in beds. All of us were passing gas rather loudly, but of course there is no odor since there is nothing in there. It was pretty funny actually. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/49 "2015-02-03T22:00:35Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > This was a big deal for me. I had put off mine for about five years because of this difficulty. Essentially, I have only my husband who can do this. At the time, he was working for a company that was just itching to ditch older workers and was documenting anyone’s perceived transgressions. He was eventually laid off from that place, and I’m sure that the day he took off to drive me didn’t do him any good. That is ridiculous. What a shitty employer. No pun intended. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/50 "2015-02-03T22:25:24Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > After mine I remember being in a fairly large room with 4 or 5 other people laying in beds. All of us were passing gas rather loudly, but of course there is no odor since there is nothing in there. It was pretty funny actually. The Fart Ward. The nurses should hold up numbers… like diving judges. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/51 "2015-02-03T23:05:27Z")
Had my 2nd one a few weeks ago. My mother had bowel cancer, all good now, but I lost a few uncles to it so I’ve to make them relatively frequently from now on. I’ve always taken the next day off as the first time they found a few polyps and took them out and I had a good few twinges the next day. The actual procedure is fine, little to no memory of it. The prep is a pain but have good tv or podcasts ready and stay close to the toilet and all is good. Just do what you’re told and don’t be silly and all will be good. Best of luck and hopefully all goes well. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Mood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@Blue\_Mood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Mood)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/52 "2015-02-04T13:52:28Z")
> [@Lorene89095](#): > > Vaseline - use on the toilet paper after every BM/flood. I’m glad you’re getting it… First one I had,BINGO,stage 4 colon cancer… I’m doing well,thank you, 6 years after all the drama. Yes - Vaseline from the first go. Glad to hear you’re okay now **Lorene89095**. That must have been a lot to go through. I recently had one without anesthesia, which is fairly common here in the UK. It was uncomfortable, but not horribly painful, and it was great having no recovery time. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/53 "2015-02-04T14:09:01Z")
Try asking if you can get just a “semicolon-oscopy.” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/54 "2015-02-04T21:51:45Z")
Well, I’m about to do the first batch of purge laxative solution; the last two nights have just been normal laxative pills. I have no Vaseline and no wipes unfortunately: plenty of toilet paper though. Here goes. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/55 "2015-02-04T21:57:34Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Well, I’m about to do the first batch of purge laxative solution; the last two nights have just been normal laxative pills. > > I have no Vaseline and no wipes unfortunately: plenty of toilet paper though. > > Here goes. DO NOT stray far from the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/56 "2015-02-04T22:33:02Z")
My advice after the last one is to schedule it for Monday morning, then take both Monday and Tuesday off from work so you can recover properly. Monday unless you want to take a few more days off work for the prep, because you do NOT want to be at work, or trying to commute. :eek: Not unless you got the Captains Toilet Driver’s Seat upgrade for your car. And the minute you get out, have your driver take you straight to a buffet, or your favorite restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/57 "2015-02-04T23:11:12Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > …And the minute you get out, have your driver take you straight to a buffet, or your favorite restaurant. My driver is my oldest and dearest friend, and he’s driving me straight to his place after where I will spend the night. I’m sure he’s got some kind of meal lined up. Yes. A Monday schedule would have been much better for everyone. Good advice. I do need to go into work Friday though. The uber laxative is now working. I have another dose tomorrow morning prior to my 2:00 scope. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/58 "2015-02-05T03:39:15Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > My advice? Get some magazines for the bathroom. You’ll be living in there. 😃 > [@Yllaria](#): > > Magazines - books - crosswords - anything to keep you entertained. Indeed, this may be just the time to start on _War and Peace_. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/59 "2015-02-05T03:47:15Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Indeed, this may be just the time to start on _War and Peace_. Rather the opposite experience for me. I feel a BM coming, hit the bathroom, and am done in about 3.8 seconds. The first dose seems to be through me now. I just finished a beer. That’s a clear liquid, right? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-colonoscopy/711396/60 "2015-02-05T13:33:45Z")
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