# Countdown to the States!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 2000, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217 "2000-08-13T22:03:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/41 "2000-08-16T22:10:28Z")
Chief, I think Veb really meant, “long **hand** job,” not long hard job. But I’m sure it was well done anyway. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/42 "2000-08-16T22:15:25Z")
::blushes:: Okay, Chief and UncaBeer, I walked right into that one. Sheesh! Veb ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/43 "2000-08-16T22:17:27Z")
Welcome back home, sailor! What Veb said. Oh, and in case Falcon and lnix’s _‘round lovelies’_ arent enough for you: \ \ 😛 Now, you didn’t think I’d _actually_ flash you, did you? 😉 On the other hand… _Smooooch!_ ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/44 "2000-08-17T00:12:40Z")
\*\*Welcome back home, sailor! What Veb said.\*\*So by my count that’s three hand jobs by three different lovely ladies! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/45 "2000-08-17T00:44:00Z")
I count two, swabbie. Who’s yer third? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/46 "2000-08-17T10:12:00Z")
OK. I can deal with two. One of you will just have to have an encore performance! **28 hours to go!!** Last night, I tamed me a **birdie** and drove me a **'Zette**! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/47 "2000-08-17T10:57:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > Last night, I tamed me a **birdie** and drove me a **'Zette**! so… many… jokes… crushing… my … skull!!! Remember Chief, it AINT legal to grab the nearest female when you get off the boat and have your way with her. Your a sailor, not a pirate!! have fun! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/48 "2000-08-17T12:03:15Z")
Ahar, ye skurvy dogs! Shiver me timbers, it be 26 hours 'til I make me landfall! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/49 "2000-08-17T14:04:47Z")
TAMED? News flash, sailorboy. One thing I will NEVER be is tame. Got that? _raises eyebrow and smiles_ ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/50 "2000-08-17T14:12:20Z")
Taming a Falcon isn’t all that tough. First you tie a leather strap around its ankle… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/51 "2000-08-17T14:21:55Z")
… beat it senseless, and… 23 hrs. and 45 ninutes! Less than a day. Ladies the line forms to the right of the pier Monday for those willing to “help the chief!” Just line up behind **Falcon** who’s been camped out for a week! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/52 "2000-08-17T14:38:15Z")
Hell Chief, I’ve been camped out for a month. 😉 And Southern? Takes more than that to tame me. _smiles_ Especially that beat it senseless part, Chief. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/53 "2000-08-17T14:46:39Z")
After the leather strap is affixed to your ankle, a collar and leash are attached. Then it’s just a case of what to do with this other leather strap. Uh, excuse me … would you mind bending over that piece of furniture??? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/54 "2000-08-17T14:50:08Z")
Though I hate ‘em **Southern** , that was a most effective use of the blue, takin’-it-between-the-legs-from-behind google-eyed smiley I’ve seen in a while! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/55 "2000-08-17T14:54:29Z")
Eeep. _runs and hides_ Um, y’all WILL be gentle in taming me, yes? ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/56 "2000-08-17T14:57:19Z")
**Chief** , I’m not sure if this is another red-letter date in the Chief-Smiley war, if you’ve been at sea too long, or both. :: said in a whisper :: In the past week you’ve both used a smiley AND complemented the use of another. :: returns to normal voice :: Get laid Chief. You’ll be your old self afterward! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/57 "2000-08-17T15:03:02Z")
As I’ve said previously **Southern** , “Ladies the line forms to the right!” Though I fear, buried deep in this thread I won’t have many takers willing to assisnt me with my “affliction!” **23 hrs. to go!** ---
**Author:** ![24KaratGold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/cc9497/32.png) [@24KaratGold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/24KaratGold)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/58 "2000-08-17T15:49:49Z")
Welcome home, Chief. And thanks for the sacrifices you’ve made in the last six months. Sounds like people are gonna be more than willing to help you forget 'em, though! (Smiley omitted.) Wish I could make it to Norfolk! How do you feel about blondes? Goldie Gentlemen do prefer blondes – with good reason! ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/59 "2000-08-17T16:01:16Z")
**Falcon** , The **Chief** has been at sea for that past 6 months. While I may be willing to negotiate the terms under which you’re to be tamed, I’m also willing to bet that “gentle” won’t be on the cheif’s radar screen until he’s been ashore at least a week. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217/60 "2000-08-17T18:36:48Z")
Well, this just can’t sink to the second page when there’s less than 20 hours to go… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/countdown-to-the-states/29217.md?page=4)