# Couple Sues Docs who said Child Wouldn't Have Down Syndrome **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 9, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302 "2012-03-09T18:29:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/101 "2012-06-22T01:14:33Z")
“Ask” thread done: > **[Ask the parent of a kid with Down Syndrome](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656037)** > > Okay, someone suggested I move the discussion about Down syndrome to an “ask” thread, so here it is. I have an 11-year-old girl with DS. I’ll share, but I won’t get too specific because I value my privacy and there are creeps on the Internet. My... Hope it’s a more open conversation and doesn’t sound confrontational or judgmental on my part. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/102 "2012-06-22T18:15:39Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > That’s just it - you can’t UNlump them, because every person is vulnerable to all those things. Again, you’re comparing unlike things. You can be vulnerable to things like drug addiction, but it’s in part a consequence of your own actions. A congenital disease is not like that. Nobody’s saying “I’d rather have a child who is a drug addict than a child with Down syndrome.” Nobody _would_ say that because it doesn’t make any sense since the causes of those two problems have nothing in common. > [@](#): > > I just can’t see having hope for a child and then giving up that easily. Saying someone else gave up easily is pretty judgmental, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/103 "2012-06-22T18:39:53Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Again, you’re comparing unlike things. You can be vulnerable to things like drug addiction, but it’s in part a consequence of your own actions. When you’re talking about yourself, yes. But when you’re talking about being a parent, it’s the same thing - a problem with a child to be dealt with. > [@](#): > > A congenital disease is not like that. Nobody’s saying “I’d rather have a child who is a drug addict than a child with Down syndrome.” Nobody _would_ say that because it doesn’t make any sense since the causes of those two problems have nothing in common. It has nothing to do with the cause. You don’t want either problem because they are problems. > [@](#): > > Saying someone else gave up easily is pretty judgmental, isn’t it? Maybe. I should have used better words. Here’s how I think about this. If there was a pregnancy I didn’t intend and didn’t want, that’s one thing. But when my wife got pregnant, we wanted the baby from the start. I couldn’t change my mind about that - even before she was born. Once I wanted her, I had a connection to her in the womb, and I wasn’t going to give up on my child even if it was possible for me to do so easily at the time. I’m all in on parenthood, from the beginning. That’s just how I feel about my situation. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/104 "2012-06-22T19:19:33Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > But when you’re talking about being a parent, it’s the same thing - a problem with a child to be dealt with. That’s true. And some problems can be prevented and others can’t. That isn’t a moral issue or a judgment on which problems are the worst, it’s a fact based on the different natures of the problems. You can be the best parent possible in terms of living a clean life and keeping your kids away from trouble, but at some point they’ll be in charge of their own lives and they may end up on drugs or ensconced in loser-dom. It’s less likely to happen if they have great parents, but it happens anyway. Diseases like Down syndrome aren’t like that. (The fact that it’s a disease is a hint.) You can know ahead of time if it exists, and if it doesn’t, you essentially don’t have to worry about it anymore. We make decisions like that all the time. > [@](#): > > You don’t want either problem because they are problems. Of course not. But you can know with almost total certainty if you are going to have a child with Down syndrome. You can’t know pre-birth if your child might end up a criminal or a drug addict. That’s why I’m saying they are not really comparable problems. > [@](#): > > I’m all in on parenthood, from the beginning. That’s just how I feel about my situation. And I think your commitment is to be applauded. I can see it’s already getting a good number of responses. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/105 "2012-06-22T19:26:08Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That’s true. And some problems can be prevented and others can’t. That isn’t a moral issue or a judgment on which problems are the worst, it’s a fact based on the different natures of the problems. You can be the best parent possible in terms of living a clean life and keeping your kids away from trouble, but at some point they’ll be in charge of their own lives and they may end up on drugs or ensconced in loser-dom. It’s less likely to happen if they have great parents, but it happens anyway. Diseases like Down syndrome aren’t like that. (The fact that it’s a disease is a hint.) You can know ahead of time if it exists, and if it doesn’t, you essentially don’t have to worry about it anymore. We make decisions like that all the time. Well, that’s partly true - but even what will happen with a positive diagnosis of DS isn’t entirely predictable. There’s a wide variation in what can result. It’s not a disease, actually - it’s a syndrome, which means it’s a condition that can cause many diseases or problems, or none of them. > [@](#): > > Of course not. But you can know with almost total certainty if you are going to have a child with Down syndrome. You can’t know pre-birth if your child might end up a criminal or a drug addict. That’s why I’m saying they are not really comparable problems. They’re perfectly comparable, except that one you know about before birth and the rest you don’t. That’s the only difference, which is obvious. I’m the one who brought up that difference. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/106 "2012-06-22T19:34:50Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Well, that’s partly true - but even what will happen with a positive diagnosis of DS isn’t entirely predictable. But the fact that it’s Down syndrome is predictable. > [@](#): > > They’re perfectly comparable, except that one you know about before birth and the rest you don’t. That and the different causes and outcomes. Which is why there’s this issue with prenatal testing for Down syndrome and not for being a loser. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/107 "2012-06-22T19:38:29Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > But the fact that it’s Down syndrome is predictable. Yes. But, again, that doesn’t tell you that much. > [@](#): > > That and the different causes and outcomes. Which is why there’s this issue with prenatal testing for Down syndrome and not for being a loser. 😉 The causes and outcomes are irrelevant though. They are all problems you can have with your kid. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/108 "2012-06-22T20:14:59Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Yes. But, again, that doesn’t tell you that much. It tells you whether or not the condition is present, which is a very significant fact. That’s all I am saying here. > [@](#): > > They are all problems you can have with your kid. Nobody disagrees with that. They’re entirely different kinds of problems that happen for different reasons and are handled differently. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/109 "2012-06-22T20:17:44Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > It tells you whether or not the condition is present, which is a very significant fact. That’s all I am saying here. Absolutely. I’m just stressing that DS can result in a wide variety of problems, many or few. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/110 "2012-06-22T22:56:24Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Oh, OK, so if a building falls down because it was built sloppily, it’s OK because the builders don’t hold lives in their hands? > > Doctors aren’t the only ones who save lives daily, many people in less-prestigious professions do it by the hundredfold rather than one at a time. I don’t think you understood me. I’m saying that doctors should be held to a higher standard than the average Joe. While Joe shouldn’t be sued if he did his job perfectly, a doctor should be able to be sued even if the problem was not their fault. Both doctors and builders would be responsible for shoddy work. As for the costs issue–that’s why I want healthcare reform. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/111 "2012-06-23T02:20:29Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > While Joe shouldn’t be sued if he did his job perfectly, a doctor should be able to be sued even if the problem was not their fault. Why should they be liable for something that isn’t their fault? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302/112 "2012-06-23T13:59:34Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > a doctor should be able to be sued even if the problem was not their fault. Well, no, that’s exactly wrong. Nobody should be liable for something that isn’t their fault. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couple-sues-docs-who-said-child-wouldnt-have-down-syndrome/615302.md?page=5)