# Couples spending over $20,000 on wedding more likely to divorce **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2014, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589 "2014-11-14T03:22:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jvpbos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5f8ce5/32.png) [@jvpbos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jvpbos)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/21 "2014-11-14T14:20:02Z")
About $20, still married 28 years later. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/22 "2014-11-14T14:38:50Z")
Of course they are. Mentally ill people shouldn’t marry, especially if it’s just one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/23 "2014-11-14T14:41:27Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Of course if you have a billion dollars $20,000 is chump change. Maybe expressing wedding costs as a percentage/multiple of annual income would be a better way to go about studying the matter. Yea, that’s what I was getting at. I think percentage would be a much better metric to go by. > [@](#): > > Most people are not multi-millionaires, so the odds are that yes, _most_ people spending $20,000+ are not that wealthy. I would be curious to know if the second part is correct. We know the first part of this statement is obviously correct. Most people are not millionaires. But most people don’t spend $20,000 on weddings. How many people making less than $80K a year, I wonder, are spending $20,000 on their wedding. I would have assumed that _most_ people who actually spend that kind of money on a wedding, are making at least… (I dunno) 200K annually and properly have quite a bit of savings and other assets. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/24 "2014-11-14T14:43:54Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I have often thought that anybody obsessing over making the day “perfect” probably has issues that may come to light later on down the line. They are relying too heavily on fairy-tale romance. This. Somebody who scrimps on other stuff for years for one fairytale day is almost certainly doomed to disappointments and regrets that are bound to spill over (if only slightly) into the marriage generally, and the less said about someone who racks up five-figure debt to throw a party the better. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to people rich enough to throw a $20K party the way regular people throw a backyard barbecue. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/25 "2014-11-14T14:53:34Z")
I estimate around $5000 including honeymoon. 21 years and counting… ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/26 "2014-11-14T15:04:25Z")
We spent around $10K for 85 guests. $20K is pretty standard and normal around here for a full wedding with 150-200 guests ($20-$30K is average in the Chicago area.) Depending on your community and their gift-giving traditions, you also get a good chunk of your change back (some actually make money on their wedding.) ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/27 "2014-11-14T15:14:58Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > We spent around $10K for 85 guests. $20K is pretty standard and normal around here for a full wedding with 150-200 guests ($20-$30K is average in the Chicago area.) Depending on your community and their gift-giving traditions, you also get a good chunk of your change back (some actually make money on their wedding.) Depending on traditions, a wedding can act essentially as a money transfer from parents to the kids getting married. Way it works is this: parents pay for wedding; kids keep the presents (often in form of cash) given by guests. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/28 "2014-11-14T15:59:11Z")
Oh yay, the semi-annual “who spent the least on their wedding” dick waving contest. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/29 "2014-11-14T16:01:14Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Oh yay, the semi-annual “who spent the least on their wedding” dick waving contest. Better, IMVHO, than an annual “who spent the most (for the least practical things) on their wedding” c\*nt-worshipping contest… ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/30 "2014-11-14T16:09:19Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Better, IMVHO, than an annual “who spent the most (for the least practical things) on their wedding” c\*nt-worshipping contest… Annnnd misogyny’s in da hizzouse. Woop Woop! ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/31 "2014-11-14T16:11:58Z")
No, a long developed case of Bridezilla (and her family) loathing. If it’s all about “her day” or (and I lived in this world for a couple of years) “giving up her most cherished possession” and therefore no last nickel found under the floorboards is too much to spend… everyone involved is truly getting screwed that night. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/32 "2014-11-14T16:13:13Z")
Makes sense. Rich people only care about money and not love ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/33 "2014-11-14T16:19:15Z")
I’ve been married three times. The total for all three is about $20,000. Happy this time…but I’m not sure there is a correlation in my case between marital happiness and amount spent on the wedding… ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/34 "2014-11-14T16:25:47Z")
Hm, Justice of the Peace, license, blood test was free, so something like $150 total. Still married after 24 years. Brother, spent $30 000. Divorced after 9 months. Seems true to me, at least in my family. Although my parents got married in 1949, spent around $15 000, no idea what that is in now money - though a fair amount of that was spent on tickets and formal clothing for Mom’s side of the family and his Army buddies [who couldn’t afford anything beyond uniforms, though a dress uniform is traditionally accepted as the equivalent of the proper civilian formal gear.] Still married up until my Dad died a few years back. Though they used to joke ‘divorce, never, murder probably’ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/35 "2014-11-14T16:40:11Z")
15k in 1949 is equal to 150,000 today (source: Bureau of Labor Statistics Inflation Calculator). An extraordinarily lavish affair by any measure. Helping family and friends participate in a once in a lifetime get together… Who’d a thunk it? … maybe, just maybe, a family can put a high priority on bringing family and friends together – to the extent if spending a fuck ton of money to make it a good time for everyone… without vagina ever entering into it… Nah… That never happens according to A\_B. I guess if a _man_ planned it for his _Army buddies_, then it’s okay. But if there’s a woman involved… Stand back, that bitch is a cunt! ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/36 "2014-11-14T16:40:45Z")
$7000, paid by my wife’s parents. Out-of-pocket between us was probably about $1000. Let’s see, it was-- 34 days ago. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/37 "2014-11-14T16:53:07Z")
We were both dirt poor in those days, with student loan debt pouring out of our gills. We went to the courthouse and got the license (so, whatever that cost… $25? $50 maybe? I don’t remember anymore) and then over to a Justice of the Peace for the ceremony. We had no rings, no reception, and no honeymoon, and were all done in about an hour. All told, we definitely paid less than $100 for the entire shebang. That was almost 25 years ago and she is still with me. Yes, I am that wonderful. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/38 "2014-11-14T17:21:51Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > 15k in 1949 is equal to 150,000 today (source: Bureau of Labor Statistics Inflation Calculator). An extraordinarily lavish affair by any measure. > > Helping family and friends participate in a once in a lifetime get together… Who’d a thunk it? … maybe, just maybe, a family can put a high priority on bringing family and friends together – to the extent if spending a fuck ton of money to make it a good time for everyone… without vagina ever entering into it… Nah… That never happens according to A\_B. I guess if a _man_ planned it for his _Army buddies_, then it’s okay. But if there’s a woman involved… Stand back, that bitch is a cunt! If the money is spent on transportation and housing costs for the guests that’s a little different in my mind than spending it on a custom wedding dress to be worn only once and frou-frou table centerpieces made by short Tibetan monks working by the light of the full moon during a proper conjunction of planets. Yes, you can have a lavish, expensive wedding and a lasting marriage… and you can elope and have it end in days. Even so, I think there is a correlation between the amount spent (relative to income resources) and how dickish the two primary people involved can be. It’s not 100%, but honestly, there really ARE some Bridezillas and there’s a whole industry of wedding planning that encourages people to spend-spend-spend and otherwise make it a more lavish/expensive affair than it might otherwise be. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/39 "2014-11-14T17:28:24Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Helping family and friends participate in a once in a lifetime get together… Who’d a thunk it? … maybe, just maybe, a family can put a high priority on bringing family and friends together – to the extent if spending a fuck ton of money to make it a good time for everyone… without vagina ever entering into it… Nah… That never happens according to A\_B. I guess if a _man_ planned it for his _Army buddies_, then it’s okay. But if there’s a woman involved… Stand back, that bitch is a cunt! I’d run get that button looked at, HA, before you break it off on something. It’s sticking out so far you’re pushing it yourself, spinning in circles. Some weddings - too many, IMHO, and far too many in my personal experience - are sickening excess because the bride believes that the word “No” can’t be said by anyone because she blushingly said “Yes.” That “sale” or “trade” or “sacrifice” seems to underlie a lot of excessive weddings even if it’s not so overt. If saying so sends you on an anti-mysogyny, girls-can-have-all-the-fun-they-want rant… well, okay. How much did you spend on your wedding, why, and are you in the industry or a supporting one like floral or couture? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/40 "2014-11-14T17:46:11Z")
Probably around $2K in 1978 dollars and yes. Both my kids got married for less than that. Both still married also, though the youngest has only been married a couple of months. It might be cultural. My boss is Indian. His daughter is getting married and he said that he has to put on a big wedding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589.md?page=3)