# Couples spending over $20,000 on wedding more likely to divorce **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2014, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589 "2014-11-14T03:22:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/41 "2014-11-14T17:47:13Z")
Spent very little on the wedding and was happily married for a coupla years. Spent a small fortune on the divorce 18 years later, worth every cent. ---
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/42 "2014-11-14T17:50:25Z")
I think it was about $10,000. Still married 19 years later. We spent most of the money on the venue, food and open bar as we wanted to make sure everyone had a good time. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/43 "2014-11-14T18:07:28Z")
Probably a couple thousand the first time. My parents really wanted a big reception and I said we would show up for any party they threw. That lasted for 11 years. Death did us part. The second time, I have no idea how much we ended up spending, since we were in Vegas. A few hundred? Hmm. Maybe closer to a thousand? I didn’t do anything but show up, so I don’t know! That’s closing in on three years ago. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/44 "2014-11-14T18:28:17Z")
We spent close to $20k, if you could the rehearsal dinner and associated wedding events. Our parents paid for some of it, but we paid for more than half of it. It was an amazing experience and the best party I’ve ever thrown with almost everyone important to us in the world there to celebrate with us. We certainly could have done without some things and still had a great time, but I don’t regret spending the money. We’ve been married not quite 7 months, so it’s obviously too early for any conclusions about the longevity of our marriage. I think it’s going great, though. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/45 "2014-11-14T19:16:59Z")
I am so glad we had a cheap wedding. I don’t recall how much, but well under $20k. We’re still married 21 years later. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/46 "2014-11-14T19:22:44Z")
We spent probably under $1500 - the reception was in the church hall, appetizers instead of a sit-down meal, a friend did the cake. We didn’t have a lot of money and what we did have we wanted to spend on the honeymoon instead of the wedding ceremony. That was 14 years ago, still married with no regrets. My friend recently said “We’ve been married 29 years and I haven’t regretted it one day. In fact, our wedding day was the one day I didn’t regret it.” ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/47 "2014-11-14T19:28:04Z")
$3,000, married 11 years now. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/48 "2014-11-14T19:29:27Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > We spent around $10K for 85 guests. $20K is pretty standard and normal around here for a full wedding with 150-200 guests ($20-$30K is average in the Chicago area.) Depending on your community and their gift-giving traditions, you also get a good chunk of your change back (some actually make money on their wedding.) Some couples do a “money dance” where the bride is out there and guys hand money off to the best man for a short dance with the bride. I’m not kidding $10,000 is not unusual. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/49 "2014-11-14T19:37:27Z")
There is an old saying that the only time people reunite is for weddings and funerals. So I dont think its bad to spend some money on a reception where long distance friends and relatives come out and everyone gets to see everyone else. Around here plan on at least $20 per person and thats darn low. Now a couple can easily have 100 acquaintances and relatives a piece so thats 200, they then bring their families and your at 800. So 800 times $20 is $16000. A cake alone for that money will run over $1,000. But is that so bad when long lost Aunt Jenny gets to see her old friend Mildred? Or all the grooms high school buddies get together one last time? How about the brides cousins she has seen only twice in her life? After that, if they do get a divorce, well then you really cant say the event was all about them anyways and those reunions can be priceless. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/50 "2014-11-14T19:40:55Z")
$50 and yes. Drive-thru wedding chapel in Vegas. Her family was on one coast, mine on the other. Easier to just skip the fancy stuff and have the ceremony just for us. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/51 "2014-11-14T19:53:59Z")
I don’t know why anyone would pay for a wedding reception. We cooked something much better than any caterer’s food I’ve ever eaten, and grew our own flowers, and recorded the music. It’s amazing what you find time to do when you don’t own a tv. ---
**Author:** ![MareIt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@MareIt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MareIt)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/52 "2014-11-14T19:55:19Z")
What about all of the money I’ve spent on other people’s weddings? Does that count 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/53 "2014-11-14T20:56:33Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I don’t know why anyone would pay for a wedding reception. We cooked something much better than any caterer’s food I’ve ever eaten, and grew our own flowers, and recorded the music. > > It’s amazing what you find time to do when you don’t own a tv. Huh. I sculpted a woman out of marble and then fell in love with her and she came to life. I celebrated with a gala tea. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/54 "2014-11-14T21:28:17Z")
[According to CNN](http://money.cnn.com/2014/03/28/pf/average-wedding-cost/), the _average_ cost of a wedding in America (not including a honeymoon) is $30,000. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/55 "2014-11-14T21:36:48Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > [According to CNN](http://money.cnn.com/2014/03/28/pf/average-wedding-cost/), the _average_ cost of a wedding in America (not including a honeymoon) is $30,000. Well, a couple Hollywood weddings could really throw off the average. But that still seems high. Maybe the average cost of a wedding for people who do it up. I wonder if they capture the people who just go down to the courthouse or have a small party at home? Upon reading the article, I see that includes things like wedding rings, which I wouldn’t call part of the cost of the wedding. Also, the survey was actually done by [theknot.com](http://theknot.com), so they are already dealing with a database of people who want to do a “wedding.” ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/56 "2014-11-14T21:41:38Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I don’t know why anyone would pay for a wedding reception. We cooked something much better than any caterer’s food I’ve ever eaten, and grew our own flowers, and recorded the music. > > It’s amazing what you find time to do when you don’t own a tv. I converted my TV into an oven and now I bake all my own cakes for $5. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/57 "2014-11-14T22:30:37Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Well, a couple Hollywood weddings could really throw off the average. But that still seems high. Maybe the average cost of a wedding for people who do it up. I wonder if they capture the people who just go down to the courthouse or have a small party at home? > > Upon reading the article, I see that includes things like wedding rings, which I wouldn’t call part of the cost of the wedding. Also, the survey was actually done by [theknot.com](http://theknot.com), so they are already dealing with a database of people who want to do a “wedding.” All this is true, and I am skeptical too, but if it’s true it may mean that people who get married on the cheap for _only_ 20 grand are more likely to get divorced. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/58 "2014-11-14T23:12:33Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Most couples who would splurge that much on a wedding probably already lack self-discipline, restraint or financial sense…character flaws that contribute to likelihood of divorce. Yes, clearly the following posters have horrible character flaws. > [@Wednesday\_Evening](#): > > I think it was about $10,000. Still married 19 years later. > > We spent most of the money on the venue, food and open bar as we wanted to make sure everyone had a good time. > [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > We spent close to $20k, if you could the rehearsal dinner and associated wedding events. Our parents paid for some of it, but we paid for more than half of it. > > It was an amazing experience and the best party I’ve ever thrown with almost everyone important to us in the world there to celebrate with us. We certainly could have done without some things and still had a great time, but I don’t regret spending the money. > > We’ve been married not quite 7 months, so it’s obviously too early for any conclusions about the longevity of our marriage. I think it’s going great, though. Wanting everyone to have a good time?! Wanting all the important people in your lives to celebrate with you?! You monsters! FWIW, I did the cheapo, justice-of-the-peace thing. I don’t feel morally superior or more happily married than people who had larger celebrations. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/59 "2014-11-14T23:33:04Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Yes, clearly the following posters have horrible character flaws. If you read my post, I said “most.” Not “all.” > [@lorene](#): > > Wanting everyone to have a good time?! Wanting all the important people in your lives to celebrate with you?! You monsters! That doesn’t take $20,000. You’re setting up a false dichotomy. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589/60 "2014-11-14T23:42:42Z")
We had a big 200 person party with the biggest expense going to good beer and wine. We kept everything else pretty cheap. It was a hell of a fun party for around $6000 in 1993. We divorced in 2005. We are still best of friends if that counts for anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-spending-over-20-000-on-wedding-more-likely-to-divorce/704589.md?page=4)