# Couples who share a bank account: How do you buy each other gifts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2011, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608 "2011-02-08T02:28:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/1 "2011-02-08T02:28:18Z")
“Oh, you spent $94 at the mall? On what?” ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/2 "2011-02-08T02:36:13Z")
“On your Christmas present.” “Oh, you’re spending that much this year?” “Yeah.” “Okay, well, try not to spend anything else.” Or “Your birthday present.” “Ooh, what did you get me?” “I’m not going to tell you. You can wait.” “I want it now.” “Tough.” Or “Did you buy yourself that new game for $60?” “…” “I can see you bought something for $60.” _innocent smile_ “It’s for you, honey.” ---
**Author:** ![andrewm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@andrewm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewm)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/3 "2011-02-08T02:39:24Z")
Credit card? ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/4 "2011-02-08T02:43:40Z")
My parents have both a common account and their own accounts - the common account is for utilities, bills, etc., and their personal accounts are for, uh, personal things. I was under the impression that most couples would have a similar arrangement. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/5 "2011-02-08T02:46:58Z")
This year: Don’t look at the bank account, I bought you something. Next year: I’m just pulling out cash. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/6 "2011-02-08T02:49:32Z")
We just tell each other what we want. Half the time we buy it for ourselves. we don’t care about surprises. I can’t remember the last time we bought surprise gifts. I’m not sure we ever have. ---
**Author:** ![Hermitian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hermitian/32/470_2.png) [@Hermitian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermitian)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/7 "2011-02-08T02:57:41Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > My parents have both a common account and their own accounts - the common account is for utilities, bills, etc., and their personal accounts are for, uh, personal things. > > I was under the impression that most couples would have a similar arrangement. It’s becoming more common but has not been common in recent history. From an article: “A 2005 survey conducted by the Raddon Financial Group and reported in the Wall Street Journal found that 48 percent of married couples have two or more checking accounts between them, an 11 percent increase from just four years earlier.” So as of 2001 only 37 percent of couples had more than one account. My parents always used only one account and my wife and I use only one. I was shocked the first time I heard that others do not all throw it into one. ---
**Author:** ![Pantani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pantani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantani)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/8 "2011-02-08T03:10:15Z")
We usually have an agreement that looking at the credit card bill online is off limits for the few weeks before a birthday and Christmas. We also have a rough limit on how much will be spent, usally quite a bit more for birthdays than Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/9 "2011-02-08T03:14:26Z")
Well, we have a joint account for the hard monthly expenses and then our own separate accounts for actual daily living but if we didn’t it wouldn’t be a problem because neither one of us ever actually looks at our transaction histories or statements. We just occasionally look at the balance to confirm we have approximately as much money as we thought. It would have to be wildly off before either of us would look into it at more depth. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/10 "2011-02-08T03:44:51Z")
We have his, hers, and ours checking accounts, a joint savings account, a joint credit card, and I have my own credit card (which predates the relationship by, oh, 15 years or something). Being able to make purchases of which the other half of the couple doesn’t know the details is just a side benefit; we have different bookkeeping styles, and while mine is not exactly anal, his is even less so and would make me bonkers. The “ours” checking account is used only for monthly household expenses, so I know pretty much what is coming out of it, and when - no big surprises. He can do whatever he wants with his own account, as long as I don’t have to try to keep track of it. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/11 "2011-02-08T03:49:44Z")
If it’s a relatively small purchase, I pay cash for it. If she asks me why I hit the ATM in the middle of the week, I have a conversation something like **pepperlandgirl**. If it’s a big purchase, I put it on a credit card and we don’t get the bill until the end of the month. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/12 "2011-02-08T03:51:45Z")
For us it’s a combination of using our separate credit cards and the bills not hitting until after Christmas and not caring too much about surprise - we usually ask each other what we’d like. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/13 "2011-02-08T03:53:21Z")
We use different credit cards, so we just don’t look at the other’s statements in November or December. This is what allowed me to give Mrs. Giraffe the impression that I was taking her suggestion for a boring way too practical gift for her this year but instead surprise her with completely impractical but shiny jewelry. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/14 "2011-02-08T04:15:51Z")
> [@Hermitian](#): > > “…48 percent of married couples have two or more checking accounts between them, an 11 percent increase from just four years earlier.” > > So as of 2001 only 37 percent of couples had more than one account. No. Approximately 43% had that. The 11% increase is of the proportion who had that: 43% + (11% of that 43%) = ~48%. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/15 "2011-02-08T13:51:00Z")
I just tell her “don’t open the AmEx bill until after your birthday/Christmas”. Usually she opens the mail and stacks the bills in my bin on the desk, and I pay them. The AmEx card is for rare purchases and places that don’t take MasterCard, like Costco. Or she’ll hold onto the bill and won’t put it on my stack until after my birthday/Christmas. ETA: Actually, neither of us looks that closely at the credit card bill unless the total is significantly higher than the norm, so either of us could be slipping extra charges in there, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/16 "2011-02-08T13:58:46Z")
Both for my parents and for Middlebro and his wife, the answer is regular cash withdrawals: there might be an extra withdrawal on occasion, but no tattletale line in the account’s report. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/17 "2011-02-08T14:01:51Z")
Joint savings but separate checking; our paychecks go into our checking accounts and we pay into savings, pay specified bills from our own checking accounts, and personal spending comes from our individual accounts as well. That being said, we don’t really do surprise gifts that often. Christmas and birthday gifts are more like higher-priced items that we want but wouldn’t buy without talking to the other person even if we could fit it in the budget. This Christmas we both replaced our laptops and are both paying extra back into savings. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/18 "2011-02-08T14:06:06Z")
We can’t see each other’s credit card activity online, so I use that. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/19 "2011-02-08T14:16:52Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > No. Approximately 43% had that. The 11% increase is of the proportion who had that: 43% + (11% of that 43%) = ~48%. That was my first thought, but you can’t really assume that reporters know arithmetic. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608/20 "2011-02-08T14:18:03Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > If it’s a relatively small purchase, I pay cash for it. If she asks me why I hit the ATM in the middle of the week, I have a conversation something like **pepperlandgirl**. That. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/couples-who-share-a-bank-account-how-do-you-buy-each-other-gifts/570608.md?page=2)