# Court case where I am the "victim" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 18, 2019, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163 "2019-05-18T21:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2019, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/101 "2019-05-28T13:55:50Z")
as I said above what is likely to happen is I won’t testify. She will take a 12 week class and charges are then dismissed since it’s a misdemeanor case. The class option is similar to cases where someone does community service to get charges dismissed for other misdemeanors. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2019, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/102 "2019-05-29T01:25:39Z")
> [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > as I said above what is likely to happen is I won’t testify. She will take a 12 week class and charges are then dismissed since it’s a misdemeanor case. The class option is similar to cases where someone does community service to get charges dismissed for other misdemeanors. I think some of us are worried that if it does go to court and you are called to testify that you’ll get yourself in trouble trying to protect her. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2019, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/103 "2019-05-29T13:21:00Z")
the odds of me testifying are very, very low. And I will simply tell the truth and there is also the police report that will verify what I say. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2019, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/104 "2019-05-29T19:35:31Z")
Major screw up by the court - my letter says the court time is 2 PM. The DA looked it up and it’s 9 AM. Good thing I know that and did not miss the court session by showing up late. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2019, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/105 "2019-06-01T02:15:46Z")
And what happened? ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2019, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/106 "2019-06-01T16:36:29Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > And what happened? Given that he’s been posting yesterday and today, I doubt we’re going to find out. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2019, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/107 "2019-06-01T19:25:39Z")
court hearing is in 3 weeks. I will talk to assistant DA , she talks to her lawyer. They get together and make her an offer which will likely be to take the class to get charges dismissed. This info comes direct from the DA office who I talked to this week. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2019, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/108 "2019-06-01T20:01:12Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > That’s quite common in cases of domestic violence. Not that common. Most domestic violence cases are minor and fall under the “he said/she said” category. There may be probable cause for an arrest but without the victim testifying there usually isn’t enough for beyond a reasonable doubt. Which is why they most often go for some sort of deal like the OP is describing. > [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > court hearing is in 3 weeks. I will talk to assistant DA , she talks to her lawyer. They get together and make her an offer which will likely be to take the class to get charges dismissed. This info comes direct from the DA office who I talked to this week. Which is pretty much what I’ve been describing in post 53 and other posts. It’s a very common solution across many different jurisdictions. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/109 "2019-06-16T18:41:35Z")
Court hearing is next week (26th) and before that I will go down to court to watch how it goes for other people. Even though I know the basics of what should happen I figure it can’t hurt to see it in person before I show up for my court date. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/110 "2019-06-18T01:14:16Z")
Going in advance is a good idea, but remember that it’s not your court date, **Bijou**. You’re not a party to the case. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/111 "2019-06-18T02:48:45Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > Going in advance is a good idea, but remember that it’s not your court date, **Bijou**. You’re not a party to the case. I expect he was subpoenaed as the victim/witness. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/112 "2019-06-18T13:15:54Z")
yes I know I am just a witness for the case. I got a subpoena via a phone call which I guess is what they do now for some cases. At first I did not realize the call was a subpoena since they did not say that on the call which they should. I looked into it and saw that a phone call is now allowed for a subpoena. Also I saw the list of cases for the date/time and they are all domestic violence for that courtroom . They have separate court rooms for speeding, DWI ,general crime, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/113 "2019-06-18T14:17:38Z")
If they are telling you that you are ordered in the name of the state to appear in court on a date certain, that _is_ a subpoena. The idea of telephone subpoenas (which are apparently permissible in NC) is just bizarre to me, but whatever. My only contribution to this thread is that you should ignore everything that **SamuelA** has posted. And good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/114 "2019-06-18T20:17:20Z")
went to court today to observe other cases. I don’t expect people to dress up with a tie, but it seems now T shirts and ripped jeans are OK if you are the defendant in a criminal case. Only people with ties or nice pants/shirt were the lawyers and judges. I expected to at least see polo/golf shirts with a collar but I don’t think anybody bothered to wear that. One kid around 17 was caught shoplifting DVDs more than once. Judge said “you are a bad criminal, you need to find another career” and said if he does not stay in school he is going to jail. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2019, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/115 "2019-06-26T14:21:40Z")
DA has offered her the 26 week class , if she does that class, the charge is dismissed. She needs to go to court next month to accept that offer. They did not ask me anything in court today , they just told me about the offer. The judge was not involved today , just the DA and her lawyer talked. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2019, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/116 "2019-06-28T13:51:25Z")
I have seen almost the same situation before. You know you will be going to jail the next time she pulls this shit, right? And you are a man, so it’s not going to be some anger management class you get when sentencing rolls around. I hope your therapist is explaining this to you. It’s going to happen again. You have anyone in your life that is willing to bail you out? Is your job going to be able to keep you on with a domestic charge? These are things that you should think about. I wish you the best of luck and the best of mental clarity. ---
**Author:** ![Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeke_N.Destroi)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2019, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163/117 "2019-06-28T17:18:26Z")
> [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > the cops treat domestic issues way different because the law says they have to. From what I could tell they were not happy about the way this turned out. When the cops showed up I figured for sure I was going to be arrested . I was thinking of who could bail me out the easiest. It was very upsetting to see my GF in handcuffs in the street, this was around 11 pm. She was released the next day on bail. I am still upset about it 4 days later, I cry about it often . These laws were intentionally designed to take the choice out of the hands of the abused woman on the, demonstrably correct, logic that she may be refusing to press charges, dropping charges or not testifying out of intimidation or coercion. I am stunned to laughter by how upset you are that a woman who attacked you (throwing a phone IS an attack), physically fought you (wrestling match wherein you suffered damage - albeit minor - and she didn’t) and consciously attempted to get YOU arrested and potentially saddled with thousands of dollars of legal fees and a criminal record, got arrested. Wow!!! Buddy, cut bait and flee - she has shown you the darkness, all you have to do is not walk further into it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-case-where-i-am-the-victim/834163.md?page=5)