# Court to Rule if Guru Dead or Meditating **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 30, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651 "2014-05-30T17:34:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/1 "2014-05-30T17:34:47Z")
[http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2014/05/30/is-guru-dead-or-meditating.html](http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2014/05/30/is-guru-dead-or-meditating.html) > [@](#): > > The followers and families of India’s wealthiest guru, His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj, are fighting each other over whether he is dead—or just in a deep state of meditation. According to his wife and son, his property estate is worth $167 million, however his disciples refuse to let them cremate him because they believe he went into a deep Samadhi, or meditation, and have frozen his body to preserve it for when he wakes up. I think freezing him has sorta settled the issue… ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/2 "2014-05-30T18:12:13Z")
Guru Meditation #20140129,20140530 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/3 "2014-05-30T18:45:46Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > Guru Meditation #20140129,20140530 Amiga Roolz! ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/4 "2014-05-30T18:52:29Z")
I guess they froze his assets too… ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/5 "2014-05-30T19:02:58Z")
How’s he gonna wake up if he’s frozen solid? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/6 "2014-05-30T19:09:46Z")
Somebody’s going to post it. Might as well be me. “‘E’s not pinin’! 'E’s passed on! This guru is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E’s expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn’t frozen 'im 'e’d be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E’s off the twig! 'E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible! He’s fuckin’ snuffed it!.. THIS IS AN EX-GURU!” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/7 "2014-05-30T19:13:47Z")
> [@simster](#): > > I guess they froze his assets too… Temporarily. He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes, you see. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/8 "2014-05-30T23:07:26Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Somebody’s going to post it. Might as well be me. > > “‘E’s not pinin’! 'E’s passed on! This guru is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E’s expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn’t frozen 'im 'e’d be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E’s off the twig! 'E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible! He’s fuckin’ snuffed it!.. THIS IS AN EX-GURU!” Na’ quiet ther…ya might wake 'im up! –G! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/9 "2014-05-30T23:58:37Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > [http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2014/05/30/is-guru-dead-or-meditating.html](http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2014/05/30/is-guru-dead-or-meditating.html) > > I think freezing him has sorta settled the issue… Well, the Avatar was frozen for 100 years and still managed to defeat the Fire Lord. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/10 "2014-05-31T00:03:28Z")
He’s just pinin’ for the Ganges. ---
**Author:** ![rsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsa)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/11 "2014-05-31T05:06:31Z")
If he’s dead and in Hell, he must really be burning through his money. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/12 "2014-05-31T05:46:43Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > How’s he gonna wake up if he’s frozen solid? Very grumpily. _"What?!_…Can’t…move…did…those…idiots…_freeze_…me?..bastards…" ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/13 "2014-05-31T05:49:14Z")
Is this Bollywood’s answer to Weekend at Bernie’s? ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/court-to-rule-if-guru-dead-or-meditating/689651/14 "2014-05-31T05:57:53Z")
At least DJ Premier is still around.