# Cover songs that should be shoveds so far up the artists ass... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2002, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096 "2002-07-09T16:03:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/21 "2002-07-10T06:34:17Z")
Sinatra had no business coming within a hundred yards of “Something.” ---
**Author:** ![Coriolanus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coriolanus/32/18769_2.png) [@Coriolanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coriolanus)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/22 "2002-07-10T06:37:10Z")
Any covers of Falco’s Der Kommissar including, but not limited to: After The Fire Laura Branigan Suzy Andrews (Due to some weird copyright issues, the song went into the public domain and was fair game for _anyone_ to cover and change as they pleased - without credit to Falco) ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/23 "2002-07-10T06:42:02Z")
John Denver singing _Fire and Rain_. I know that dates me, but it is one of my favorite songs, and Denver had no business tryignto make it sound upbeat. it’s been 20 years since I’ve heard it, and it still hurts. Yuck. Okay, maybe he wasn’t trying to make it upbeat, it’s just that everything sung by Denver sounded upbeat and happy, and _Thank God I’m a County Boy_-ish. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/24 "2002-07-10T06:42:39Z")
John Denver singing _Fire and Rain_. I know that dates me, but it is one of my favorite songs, and Denver had no business trying to make it sound upbeat. it’s been 20 years since I’ve heard it, and it still hurts. Yuck. Okay, maybe he wasn’t trying to make it upbeat, it’s just that everything sung by Denver sounded upbeat and happy, and _Thank God I’m a County Boy_-ish. ---
**Author:** ![Junior\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Junior\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junior_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/25 "2002-07-10T06:43:15Z")
I haven’t heard the cover by **Dolly** that so enflamed the OPer (and wonder if _he’s_ actually heard it yet), but I’m actually incredibly excited to hear it, if it’s anywhere near as good as her covers of Billy Joel’s _Traveller’s Prayer_ and the old _I Get A Kick Out Of You_, as well as her own, dark remake of _Down From Dover_. Besides, she’s already ripped off the intro of Stairway for her old song _We Used To_. Dolly Rules! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/26 "2002-07-10T06:50:53Z")
The Neville Brothers’ evisceration of Leonard Cohen’s _Bird on a Wire_. It sucks so much that the air-pressure has been known to drop so low in rooms in which it is playing that blood will boil at room temperature. Well, mine does, anyway. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/27 "2002-07-10T07:00:16Z")
Go ahead and [give it a listen.](http://www.towerrecords.com/product.asp?pfid=2689715) Then tell us what you think. Personally, I could have gone without it for a LOOONNNG time. ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/28 "2002-07-10T07:27:28Z")
Sixpence None the Richer’s cover of “There She Goes.” Do they even know it’s about heroin? Now I finally know who’s responsible for the awful “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” cover. I bet Dolly’s version of Stairway is okay. ---
**Author:** ![Junior\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Junior\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junior_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/29 "2002-07-10T07:43:29Z")
Thanks for the link, **kaylasdad99**. Speaking for myself (cause others just get annoyed when I speak for them), that sounds absolutely amaaaaaazing. Damn - I gotta save my pennies so I can get that record. Sorry for being so contrary 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/30 "2002-07-10T10:05:08Z")
Any of the cover versions by the various people in that pop idol thing in the UK. Whichever one of them covered **Light My Fire** should be used a poster child for the pro-abortion groups, or shot to prevent further damage to my musical sensibilities Utterly horrific, no passion or soul; a well and truly massacred version of a classic (and they didn’t even have the decency to include the classic keyboard riff either to take your mind off of the numbingly dire vocals). Just had to say that 'cause The Doors original is so great and Pop Idol made me want to rip my arm off so I had something to hit those people with ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/31 "2002-07-10T11:31:40Z")
All Saints covering “Under the Bridge” Louise covering “Stuck in the Middle With You” Egregious. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/32 "2002-07-10T11:36:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jk1245 \* > \*\*Any of Pat Boone’s covers should be crammed sideways and unlubed. \*\* Oh, I disagree. They were a HOOT! I am, of course, refering to his heavy metal covers. I laughed my ass off. They were great. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/33 "2002-07-10T12:57:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyomara \* > **Sixpence None the Richer’s cover of “There She Goes.” Do they even know it’s about heroin?** Really? Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/34 "2002-07-10T13:14:36Z")
> [@](#): > > faith hill’s wretched cover of piece of my heart. I was flipping channels on the TV when I paused a little too long on CMT and heard part of this. I came close to finding a gun and shooting the television as punishment for bringing such vileness into my home. And Dolly’s cover of Stairway is atrocious, as is her cover of **Collective Soul** ’s _Shine_. And yes, I’ve heard both. Having **Nickel Creek** play the instruments on _Shine_ wasn’t enough to save it. ---
**Author:** ![Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knighted_Vorpal_Sword)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/35 "2002-07-10T13:18:16Z")
Joe Cocker’s cover of The Beatles _A Little Help From My Friends_, and Peter Frampton’s _Sgt. Pepper_ and Aeorsmith’s _Come Together_. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/36 "2002-07-10T13:33:23Z")
I got you all beat. I’m gonna nominate an entire _band_. **The Fugees** Seems like every other song they do is a cover, and it’s all _crap, crap, utter crap_. “Killing me Softly” in its original state is enough to make me point my car towards that suddenly very attractive canyon on the right, but the Fugees’ version just makes me want to blow my brains out rightaway. I feel sick to my stomach when that song comes on, and I’m not joking. Ugh. I HATE their sound. Wyclef Jean can kiss my ass. All done. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![chalkdust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47c2d/32.png) [@chalkdust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chalkdust)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/37 "2002-07-10T13:49:23Z")
OKOK, Layla’s fine in my book. But it’s atrocitie’s like Britney’s “I Love ROck And R0ll” and anything that sheryl crow covers… ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/38 "2002-07-10T13:56:15Z")
**All by myself**. I have a particular hatred for that song and it extends to both Eric Carmen and Céline Dion. Feh. How about Mariah Carey’s **Without you**? Ugh! Damn, I really need a bath now. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/39 "2002-07-10T13:59:00Z")
Another vote for corking Dolly with her wretched covers. Yetch! I’d rather rolling the muck from a horse stable… I’d feel cleaner than Dolly’s covers left me feeling. Kelly Osborn’s _Papa Don’t Preach_ is pretty bad, but fortunately, I didn’t much care for the original, so she only deserves a good slapping. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096/40 "2002-07-10T14:11:36Z")
Crispin Glover: “These Boots Are Made for Walking” but I don’t think it would fit. He sound like he has plenty up there already! If we’re allowed to include dead people: Mae West’s cover of “Satisfaction”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cover-songs-that-should-be-shoveds-so-far-up-the-artists-ass/118096.md?page=3)