# Coversongs you just can't stand **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 26, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861 "2002-04-26T22:28:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/41 "2002-04-28T10:24:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aramis \* > \*\*In the mid-90s, smebody – can’t recall the anme and can’t bring myself to look it up – did a truly execrable cover of Patti Smith’s Because the Night. \*\* That would be **10,000 Maniacs**. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/42 "2002-04-28T11:30:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duke \* > \*\*Frente and Club Nouveau butchered “Blue Monday” and “Lean on Me,” respectively. (The stupid and useless stuff I remember, I know.) > \*\* Frente actually covered “Bizarre Love Triangle.” ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/43 "2002-04-28T14:02:07Z")
With the mention of Michael Bolton, this thread has just made me more nauseous than any “TMI” thread ever has. The Metallica cover of “Tun the Page” is awful, but I can’t hate it because it’s great for laughs. The way they sing “sweat rolls off your body” makes me crack up every time. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@bibliophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophile)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/44 "2002-04-28T14:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\*“American Pie” from Madonna. worst ever, IMO. A dirge cannot be upbeat. \*\* On a related note, I was in a bar one night, and I heard Madonna cover “Crazy Train” as a duet with Ozzy. Now, ordinarily I like Madonna, but some things are better off left alone. And I only hope that Ozzy was loaded when he agreed to be a part of this piece of crap. Luckily, I’ve never heard it again. I have to agree with everyone who’s mentioned the hatchet job Sheryl Crow did to “Sweet Child of Mine.” Truly awful. And then there’s Melissa Etheridge’s version of “Piece of My Heart” and Michael Bolton’s “Sittin on the Dock of the Bay” I’m shaking just thinking about them… ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/45 "2002-04-28T14:38:56Z")
Words alone cannot convey the horrors of Paul Young’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart”. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/46 "2002-04-28T14:44:27Z")
David Bowie’s cover of The Who’s “Pictures of Lily” is sucktacular. My friend is convinced that Bowie meant it as self-parody, but I’m not so sure. ---
**Author:** ![dead0man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@dead0man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dead0man)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/47 "2002-04-28T15:23:42Z")
Fred Durst did a cover of “Wish You Were Here”??? Yet another reason to hate him. Where do you people hear this shite? My least liked cover would have to be Rancid’s cover of NOFX’s “Bob”. dead0man ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/48 "2002-04-28T16:09:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by bibliophile \* > \*\* > On a related note, I was in a bar one night, and I heard Madonna cover “Crazy Train” as a duet with Ozzy. Now, ordinarily I like Madonna, but some things are better off left alone. And I only hope that Ozzy was loaded when he agreed to be a part of this piece of crap. Luckily, I’ve never heard it again._\* Reminded me of something. Pat Boone did some heavy metal covers a few years back… Crazy Train, Paradise City and some others. I _really hope_ he meant them to suck… because they really did. Big suprise of a not bad cover was **Rusty Cage** by none other than **Johnny Cash**. It wasn’t the raunchy rock it was meant to be of course, but sounded pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/49 "2002-04-28T16:36:47Z")
I’m pretty damned tired of all these ska-punk bands deciding to earn their way by doing stupid sped-up covers of 80s songs. The joke isn’t funny anymore. Hardly any of them sound like anything other than, “Look, we took a song and sped it up, now give us money.” Goldfinger did a cover of “99 Red Balloons” that sounds even more flat and unemotional than the original, which was sung phonetically by a woman who didn’t speak English. The idea of doing these songs fster and punkier was a good one, about 400 covers ago. Now it’s stale. Get another idea. I don’t mind covers that change the song, add a different spin to it. I like Frente’s “Bizarre Love Triangle”. I love the Jesus and Mary Chain’s “Who Do You Love”. I don’t see the point in covers that are note-for-note rehashes of the original song. Nirvana’s “Man Who Sold the World” has no reason to exist, since it sounds almost exactly like the Bowie version. And Marilyn Manson’s cover of “Sweet Dreams.” Sorry Mr. Scary Clown, but Annie Lennox is a hundred times more creepy and menacing than your cartoonish self. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/50 "2002-04-28T16:45:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dead0man \* > **Fred Durst did a cover of “Wish You Were Here”??? Yet another reason to hate him. Where do you people hear this shite** It was part of the 9/11 tribute thingy. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/51 "2002-04-28T17:03:56Z")
\*\* Snooooopy\*\*: Damn, you’re right. Whew, that actually makes me feel better, that I don’t have crapola on photographic memory. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Zeppo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@The\_Zeppo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Zeppo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2002, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/52 "2002-04-28T22:21:24Z")
Train did a cover of a Led Z song that is reall obnoxious. Zep ---
**Author:** ![Khadro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Khadro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadro)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2002, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/53 "2002-04-29T03:53:28Z")
Does it count that Vanilla Ice covered his own Ice Ice Baby into the “heavy metal” Too Cold on his latest self-reinvention? I have a soft spot for Vanilla Ice (it hurt me to say that) but the new (comparatively) version is utterly ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/54 "2002-04-29T05:56:16Z")
Not officially a cover, I guess, but Papa Roach absolutely massacred Aerosmith’s “Sweet Emotion” on mtvICON the other night. But this was a live performance, not a studio recording. Sheryl Crow’s “Sweet Child O’ Mine” sucks, methinks. ---
**Author:** ![Phlip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Phlip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlip)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2002, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/55 "2002-04-29T06:48:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by interface2x \* > \*\* > > The one cover that really annoys me, though, is the **Orgy** cover of _Blue Monday_. Not only did it make the band famous (another annoying band that got famous ONLY because of a bad cover), but they really didn’t change the song very much at all! They just substituted synth lines for guitar lines, and added distortion! Bastards. That song bugs the hell outta me. > > Colin \*\* This is EXACTLY why I think Alien Ant Farm are a joke band. Their cover of Smooth Criminal sounds EXACTLY like the original execpt with distorted guitars and a white boy who can’t dance singing it. Its pathetic when a band needs to break out with a cover. I used to like Fear Factory alot. Before CARS that is. WHY THE F\*\*K IS FEAR FACTORY COVERING CARS?!?! Might as well have Cannibal Corpse cover OOPS I DID IT AGAIN. (Oh yeah, Tori Amos cover of Raining Blood blew hard too) ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2002, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/56 "2002-04-29T13:40:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*And I know some people like the Lenny Kravitz version of “American Woman”, but I can do without it…The Guess Who classic should not have been fucked with. \*\* I’ll throw in for **American Woman**. Kravitz sucked the life out of the song & presented us with something very bland & stale. And I’ve always _liked_ Lenny Kravitz. I never understand why an artist bothers covering a song if they have nothing to add to it. Durst did **Wish You Were Here**? I’m glad I missed that one. Oh, and something I really hated were all the bubblegum remakes done in the 80’s. Anyone remember Tiffany’s redo of **I Think We’re Alone Now**? Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/57 "2002-04-29T15:52:05Z")
Oh yes, **MachV** , there are those of us who remember the remakes of the '80s. Hard as we try to forget. Kylie Minogue doing the Locomotion, anyone? And I have to say it; Billy Idol’s “Mony Mony” is the WORST PIECE OF CRAP EVER RECORDED!!! Mony, mony, ride your pony?!? WTHF? Whew, glad I got that off my chest. On the other hand, and even though this thread is about bad cover songs, I heard Dwight Yoakam’s cd “Under the Covers”, with him doing cover versions of some classic songs, and it was mostly surprisingly good. Here’s the song list of covers on the album: Claudette Train In Vain Tired Of Waiting For You Good Time Charlie’s Got The Blues Baby Don’t Go - (with Sheryl Crow) Playboy Wichita Lineman Here Comes The Night The Last Time Things We Said Today North To Alaska I’m a Clash fan, and I loved his bluegrass version of Train in Vain. At least it wasn’t a complete duplicate of the original. ---
**Author:** ![doyle420](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5e9695/32.png) [@doyle420](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doyle420)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/58 "2002-04-29T19:37:36Z")
Ok, I just heard the new winner: ‘When Doves Cry’, as covered by Patti Smith. “This is what it sounds LIKE…uh-when doves CRY” Although I must say that Patti annunciates much better than Prince. Of course she’s singing at half the speed… ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/59 "2002-04-29T21:50:17Z")
Fiona Apple’s droning version of “Across the Universe” Cowboy Junkies droning version of “Sweet Jane” Tori Amos’ oh-so-precious version of “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. (I’ll give her credit for trying to do something different, too bad it didn’t work.) William Shatner’s “Mr. Tambourine Man” is a so-bad-it’s-good cover. Groovie Ghoulies “I Don’t Like Mondays” turned the Boomtown Rats’ sweeping tune into a generic slab of 90s pop-punk. They fared a little better on their version of “She’s So Modern”. I don’t know if they ever released it, but a dreadful version of “Under My Thumb” was a feature of both Social Distortion shows I saw back in the mid-80s. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2002, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861/60 "2002-04-29T21:57:03Z")
I only heard a small portion of it, but it was more than enough. **Dolly Parton** doing her bluegrass version of\*\* “Stairway To Heaven”.\*\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coversongs-you-just-cant-stand/105861.md?page=4)