# Cow Racing **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 7, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696 "2000-06-07T21:25:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/1 "2000-06-07T21:25:42Z")
Actually, this should be listed under “Weird Earl’s,” but I don’t know who to info and how. This is the webpage of a couple that actually wants to make cow racing a national pastime. 😕 Go to [http://www.cowrace.com](http://www.cowrace.com) and see for yourself what I saw on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night (that’s how I got the addy). In fact, their press kit mentions being featured on national television, apparently oblivious to the fact that a channel called Comedy Central would want to take the piss out of cow racing! Patty ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/2 "2000-06-07T21:59:12Z")
Yeehaw! Looks like fun to me. Will there be cow paddy chucking contests after the races? I think I prefer ostrich racing… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/3 "2000-06-07T22:21:29Z")
Hi Marvel. you can submit your nominations for Weird Earl’s in the thread in the About This Message Board forum named, aptly enough [Weird Earl’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=2566). it’s also fun to peruse what other poster’s have submitted. I’ve got a few new favorites thanks to it. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/4 "2000-06-07T23:33:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Yeehaw! Looks like fun to me. Will there be cow paddy chucking contests after the races? > > I think I prefer ostrich racing… > > 😉 > \*\* Ummmmmmm, don’t laugh too hard, Demo; there do exist places where they hold cowchip throwing contests. When I was younger, I used to ride sheep. They didn’t appreciate it, and kept trying to rub me off on a fence. ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/5 "2000-06-08T00:13:06Z")
Thanks for the info, psycat90! Patty ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/6 "2000-06-08T00:28:35Z")
> [@](#): > > **I think I prefer ostrich racing…** As a person who as actually RACED an ostrich in South Africa, let me add that ostriches are fast m_therf_ckers!! Laugh all you want. YOU try keeping your grip on a huge bird that is dashing forward at over 60 km/h! Man, that was terrifying. Gimme a cow anyday! ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/7 "2000-06-08T11:42:48Z")
Well cow-pie bingo was real popular at the local fair a while back. I still haven’t figured out why it was popular. ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/8 "2000-06-09T04:49:10Z")
> [@](#): > > I still haven’t figured out why it was popular. Whaaa? What could be a better way to spend a weekend afternoon than sitting around a field all day just to watch a cow take a shit? Oh wait, I see what you mean… Of course, if anyone wants to place bets on me as I walk around some port-o-johns for a couple hours to see which one I’ll do my business in, I’ll be more than glad to- I’ve got free time. I can see it now, “Pick the right Shitter and You’ll be a Winner!” ---
**Author:** ![radar\_ralf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@radar\_ralf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/radar_ralf)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/9 "2000-06-09T05:02:57Z")
Cow racing? Hah! I fart in your general direction; we have had pig racing for years at the Alaska State Fair! And I grew up in Kansas where the cow chip toss was a frequent event that eventually turned into the International Cow Chip Toss Thingamajig, or something. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/10 "2000-06-09T05:07:27Z")
Hoping no simul-post hits, but the irony of Cowgod and the OP is sublime. Feel like you’re being followed, Cowgod? (“Yes! We have _ammo_! Whoosh–good distance!”) Uh, **Coldfire** , if one spurs along an ostrich while wearing wooden clogs, giddy bursts of speed should not be unexpected. ::musing:: 225 meters/hectares/furlongs per hour in a Porsche Testosterone or whatever, and you’re suprised at _ostrich speed?!_ Oh, yeah. Back to the OP…is there any way this can be sent to Gary Larson? Veb ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/11 "2000-06-09T08:16:32Z")
A Porsche? What, do I look like a lowlife or something?? If you want to know what my Peugeot 306 looks like, click right [here](http://www.casema.net/~sbo/306.gif). Unfortunately, it won’t go anywhere near 225 km/h 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/12 "2000-06-09T08:35:57Z")
Cows are smarter than horses, and people race them. I read a book once about an animal trainer who actually managed to get a cow to learn all a horse’s gaits, and jump, too. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/13 "2000-06-09T13:12:26Z")
There is no way cows are smarter than horses. I would like to read that. Growing up in a small farm town in Oklahoma, I can tell you COWS ARE STUPID! I suspect if horses were as stupid, your “Two All Beef Patties” would be “Two All Horse Meat Patties”. KnowWhatIMeanVern? …and once again, I get to post my favorite dumb cow joke… Bill: Look at that bunch of cows! Bob: Not bunch. Herd. Bill: Heard of what? Bob: Herd of cows. Bill: Why sure I’ve heard of cows! Bob: No. A cow **herd**! Bill: Why would I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets from a cow! ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/14 "2000-06-09T13:39:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Cow racing? Hah! I fart in your general direction; we have had pig racing for years at the Alaska State Fair! And I grew up in Kansas where the cow chip toss was a frequent event that eventually turned into the International Cow Chip Toss Thingamajig, or something. > \*\* I don’t know what part of Kansas you grew up in but I don’t know **anyone** who’s participated in a cow chip toss and I’ve **never** heard of an International Cow Chip Toss anywhere around here!! Where exactly does this take place? Is it like a pie toss… can I throw cow shit at someone who’s standing behind a cardboard cutout? That might be fun! ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/15 "2000-06-09T16:29:20Z")
Old Shawnee Days used to have a chip throwing contest. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2000, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/16 "2000-06-10T00:31:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > A Porsche? What, do I look like a lowlife or something?? > > If you want to know what my Peugeot 306 looks like, click right [here](http://www.casema.net/~sbo/306.gif). Unfortunately, it won’t go anywhere near 225 km/h 😃 > \*\* Sorry for the heretical comment, Coldy! I was flashing back on a past thread; something about the fastest people had ever driven, or the biggest thrill or something? My rapidly fading memory thought you’d driven some umpteen-gazillion km/h in a…Ferrari? Something that sounded suspicously close to “testosterone”. Comparing the suave European sophisticate doing the Bondian snazzy-car thing to the image of the same sophisticate yelling _YEEEhaaww!_ on the back of an ostrich was too stunning to ignore. Of course I didn’t try, either. Veb ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/17 "2000-06-10T00:33:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Cows are smarter than horses… > \*\* Thanks, I needed that severe bout of laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2000, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/18 "2000-06-10T01:25:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > My rapidly fading memory thought you’d driven some umpteen-gazillion km/h in a…Ferrari? Something that sounded suspicously close to “testosterone”. > \*\* Yes, my dear. It was a Ferrari Testarossa (which means “Redhead”, I shit you not :D), in race trim. The fastest recorded speed was 284 km/h. Testosterone DOES come into the equation at such speeds… Oh, and I certainly wasn’t shouting “yeehaw” on that ostrich. I was too damn scared! Gimme a Ferrari, cow or bungee jump any day. Boy, those three alternatives sure are a weird combo. Oh well. Feel free to make fun of me ANYTIME, Vebbie 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/19 "2000-06-10T01:44:22Z")
Cold, your car looks like a wooden shoe, is this a coincidence?? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-racing/21696/20 "2000-06-10T02:00:05Z")
Given that it’s a FRENCH car, I’d say yes, Angie 😉