# Cow Teats **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 10, 2018, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657 "2018-07-10T15:20:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/1 "2018-07-10T15:20:21Z")
The things on the bottom of a cow that you can get milk from. They’re called 'teats". How do you properly pronounce 'teats"? Teets or tits? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/2 "2018-07-10T15:33:06Z")
Teets. ETA: A neighbor years ago had a dog that was diagnosed with mammary cancer. When he told me his dog had cancer, I asked where, and he replied, “her titties”. Ewwwww ETA again: farmers call the udder her “bag”. Each individual gland is called “a quarter”. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/3 "2018-07-10T15:35:39Z")
Either: > [@](#): > > \ ˈtit , ˈtēt \ > **[Merriam-Webster: America's Most Trusted Dictionary](https://www.merriam-webster.com/)** > > Find definitions for over 300,000 words from the most authoritative English dictionary. Continuously updated with new words and meanings. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/4 "2018-07-10T15:36:00Z")
I think it’s ‘teats’. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/5 "2018-07-10T15:46:54Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Teets. > > ETA: A neighbor years ago had a dog that was diagnosed with mammary cancer. When he told me his dog had cancer, I asked where, and he replied, “her titties”. Ewwwww > > ETA again: farmers call the udder her “bag”. Each individual gland is called “a quarter”. More than I’d ever thought I’d know about that subject, but now Bag Balm makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/6 "2018-07-10T16:10:13Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > More than I’d ever thought I’d know about that subject, but now Bag Balm makes sense. I knew a young man in the dairy business. He once, unironically, described his fiancé to me as a “fine heifer”. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/7 "2018-07-10T16:12:52Z")
I’m udderly confused about this. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/8 "2018-07-10T16:16:49Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I’m udderly confused about this. Don’t worry: we’ll milk this thread for all its worth. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/9 "2018-07-10T16:18:02Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > ETA again: farmers call the udder her “bag”. Each individual gland is called “a quarter”. Several relatives were dairy farmers. “Bag” yes, but never heard “quarter” from them. (But I did see a couple cows with a “fifth” on them. Ewww.) Another vote for “teets”. ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/10 "2018-07-10T17:18:04Z")
Teats is more usually used for non-humans. I have only heard “teets”. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/11 "2018-07-10T17:22:56Z")
You’ll find a lot of farmers will say tits too. Older ones. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/12 "2018-07-10T20:29:58Z")
An old saying is “useless as tits on a bull.” It’s always tits, not teats. Weirdly, [etymonline](https://www.etymonline.com/word/tit) says that tits is as recent as 1928. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/13 "2018-07-10T21:55:51Z")
Either pronunciation is correct, in a dictionary. Teets is considered the more polite one, like talking to the Vet or in mixed company. When talking about a human, like the neighboring farm girl, the tits pronunciation is used. ---
**Author:** ![txjim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f07891/32.png) [@txjim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/txjim)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/14 "2018-07-10T22:03:41Z")
[The definitive video on this subject](https://youtu.be/e6K9Be4nSL0?t=106) ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/15 "2018-07-10T22:09:20Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I knew a young man in the dairy business. He once, unironically, described his fiancé to me as a “fine heifer”. Wait until he mentions it when she freshens. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/16 "2018-07-10T22:23:50Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > More than I’d ever thought I’d know about that subject, but now Bag Balm makes sense. I have a container of it on my dresser right now, and use it after my hands are thoroughly whacked from work outside. Apparently–all SD evidence to the contrary–I’m not that weird a buyer of the product for that purpose, and it’s sold fairly commonly in non-cow locales. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/17 "2018-07-10T22:27:11Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > An old saying is “useless as tits on a bull.” It’s always tits, not teats. > > Weirdly, [etymonline](https://www.etymonline.com/word/tit) says that tits is as recent as 1928. I always thought “tits up in a ditch” a particularly expressive American phrase, taken from cow husbandry I presume. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/18 "2018-07-10T22:45:39Z")
I worked on a dairy farm and it was always pronounced teets. ---
**Author:** ![Snnipe\_70E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@Snnipe\_70E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snnipe_70E)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/19 "2018-07-11T01:07:18Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > You’ll find a lot of farmers will say tits too. Older ones. On the farm when I was growing up we called them tits. ---
**Author:** ![sbunny8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@sbunny8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sbunny8)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2018, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657/20 "2018-07-11T12:51:21Z")
FWIW, I once read a quote that went something like, “I dislike people who spell teats with an i.” IIRC, that was written in the 1960s by a novelist who was born around 1900. It seems he was claiming that “tits” is a misspelling of “teats” and that the correct pronunciation rhymes with beets. When I was growing up in the 1970s, I was under the impression they were two different words. In the Future Farmers of America, I only heard grownups say “teats”, never “tits”, when referring to a cow. But I have a different point of confusion. When talking about a cow, “teat” means nipple. But, when talking about a human female, “tit” doesn’t mean nipple; it means the entire breast. If you hear a man say “She has big tits”, we certainly don’t think he means big nipples. Once again, this suggests to me that tits and teats are two different words, not just two different pronunciations of the same word. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cow-teats/817657.md?page=2)