# Cowboys vs sailors **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2010, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116 "2010-05-03T04:09:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/21 "2010-05-03T20:00:40Z")
If I had a horse, I’d ride it on my boat. Best of both worlds. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/22 "2010-05-03T20:54:46Z")
Once again the Village People start another discussion. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/23 "2010-05-03T21:44:16Z")
At this point, the obvious question is… Wild Bill vs Shipwreck? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/24 "2010-05-04T03:08:36Z")
> [@](#): > > If I had a horse, I’d ride it on my boat. And if I was married to Julia Roberts, I wouldn’t be wasting my time riding a horse. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/25 "2010-05-04T03:22:30Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > And if I was married to Julia Roberts, I wouldn’t be wasting my time riding a horse. Come on, her teeth aren’t _that_ big. No need to be cruel. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/26 "2010-05-04T13:50:25Z")
Cowboys only know about two or three knots. Sailors know, like, hundreds. Make of that what you will. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/27 "2010-05-04T20:18:54Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Who wins? Depends upon which side Steve McQueen is playing. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/28 "2010-05-04T20:45:56Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Depends upon which side Steve McQueen is playing. [You can watch this video and listen to the epic song chronicling the many exciting adventures of Steve McQueen.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNlKa90-rRg&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/29 "2010-05-04T20:47:02Z")
> [@J-P\_L](#): > > Humm, let see, you say Cowboys, so you must mean the Dallas Cowboys and the sport must be football, what city are the Sailors from, I’ve never heard of them? Tampa Bay. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/30 "2010-05-04T20:48:09Z")
Epic Scales of Awesomeness: **Most Kick-Ass** John Wayne Steve McQueen Teddy Roosevelt Chuck Norris Ninjas Sailors Pirates **Least Kick-Ass** ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/31 "2010-05-04T22:02:49Z")
So where do the cowboys fall on those scale? Generic cowboys, that is, rather than the likes of John Wayne and Steve McQueen. Also, what about bikers, construction workers, and the aforementioned Native Americans and motorcycle cops? Finally, where does Batman belong on this scale? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/32 "2010-05-05T01:11:51Z")
Irving Stone biography of Jack London is title _Sailor on Horseback_. When London finally had a lot of money, he bought a ranch, not a yacht. But then, Sterling Haden made a lot of money acting in Westerns, and used it to buy a yacht. Supposedly Errol Flynn enjoyed taking women out on his boat and using the motion of the rolling swells, but then there’s that clip circulating on the web from some old Europorn of a hussar hoisting a girl into his saddle and hiking up her dirndl. Difficult question. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/33 "2010-05-05T12:29:01Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Ibut then there’s that clip circulating on the web from some old Europorn of a hussar hoisting a girl into his saddle and hiking up her dirndl. Give a link when you say that, Pardner! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/34 "2010-05-05T19:25:17Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Give a link when you say that, Pardner! [noparse][Two Click-rule observed](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&tbo=p&tbs=vid%3A1&q=amazing+horse+porn&btnG=Search&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=)[/noparse] Not safe for work. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/35 "2010-05-05T21:53:27Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > If I had a horse, I’d ride it on my boat. > > Best of both worlds. Horsemanship? ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/36 "2010-05-05T22:15:33Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > [noparse][Two Click-rule observed](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&tbo=p&tbs=vid%3A1&q=amazing+horse+porn&btnG=Search&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=)[/noparse] Not safe for work. Heh, the one-click is NSFW unless you work on a sex farm. Two clicks gets you to some very brave young ladies mucking about with the nether regions of horses. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/37 "2010-05-05T22:38:18Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > I’ll see your .50 cal and raise you four inches. > > [File:5-54-Mark-45-firing edit.jpg - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:5-54-Mark-45-firing_edit.jpg) Oh cut it out with the little popguns: [http://www.usswisconsin.org/Pictures/Big%20Guns/024%20B.Morris%2016-inch%20gun%20fire.jpg](http://www.usswisconsin.org/Pictures/Big%20Guns/024%20B.Morris%2016-inch%20gun%20fire.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/38 "2010-05-06T01:15:01Z")
Thank you for observing the two click rule, **Slithy Tove** , but a link to the results of a google search for “amazing horse porn” is itself not worksafe. I’ve added tags so people can copy and paste the URL but can’t click on it directly. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/39 "2010-05-06T01:24:20Z")
And the Hussar hoisting the maiden to his saddle is where? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116/40 "2010-05-06T01:39:47Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > And the Hussar hoisting the maiden to his saddle is where? In the broken link, the top two video links go to the same clip. Definitely a hussar, by the horizontal tapes across his tunic. Cuirassier, lancers & dragoons just don’t have that “sex on horseback” cachet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cowboys-vs-sailors/538116.md?page=3)