# cows are inherently funny **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616 "2001-01-12T01:13:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/1 "2001-01-12T01:13:54Z")
Just thinking about them makes me laugh. The whole concept of “cow”. MOO! That’s a surefire funny response to anything anyone has to say. Sometimes I like to interrupt people right in the middle of a perfectly somber sentence with it. Moo! I love it! Alos funny, in my opinion, are the words “monkey” and, to a lesser extent, “chicken”. A few nights ago, while I was in that semi-conscious state right before fully dozing off, I exclaimed, appropos of nothing, “I heard monkeys are _mean_.” My girlfriend cracked up for a good half hour. Sure, that’s partly because it was a non sequitur, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as funny if I’d said “I heard snakes are mean.” See what I’m getting at? One last thing that I find hilarious is the word “poo.” You just don’t hear it enough. Maybe I just like it 'cause it rhymes with “moo”, but I think it’s pretty good in its own right. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/2 "2001-01-12T01:24:57Z")
**woodstock** i grew up on a Beef farm. I have been surrounded by them my whole life, 20 years of wall to wall cows. At night, when it’s quiet, sometimes i can hear them. If i were to walk out in my back yard right now i know i’d see some cows. My point? I **STILL** think they’re funny. They’re so big and goofie and dumb. I mean really man, cows got lots and lots of stupid. they look at you with these big, vacent eyes, perpetually chewing, and say “moo”. that sums it all up, right there, “moo” i’m gonna go look at them right now. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/3 "2001-01-12T01:28:07Z")
\*\* Moose\*\* Bwahahahahaaaaaa hahaaaaahahahaaaaa! I dunno. Just cracks me up. ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/4 "2001-01-12T01:28:25Z")
Yeah, they are. My friends nickname is moo. Moo is funny. When I was in sevent grade on the bus to space camp all my friends made up a song. Sung to the tune of the George of the Jungle song. Cows Cows Cows Cows Cows Cows Cows are really neat - yeah yeah They are a special treat - yeah yeah Especially with a danish And with Mr Ranish (one of our teachers) Cows Cows Cows Cows Cows Cows Also, right now I’m listening to the song on the rent coundtrack which is the protest, where one of the characters gets all the homeless people to start mooing. My friend Kalen loves cows. He got a bouncy cow stuffed animal for Christmas, but when he made it bounce in the box, it looked like it was humping the box. I was supposed to make him a mix cd of cow songs too, but I haven’t bothered. Have you ever heard the song I am Cow by the Arrogant Worms? It’s extremely amusing. My bf loves it. OK, nuff about cows. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/5 "2001-01-12T01:37:46Z")
This topic is an udder disgrace. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/6 "2001-01-12T01:44:00Z")
Fat and docile, big and dumb They look so stupid, they aren’t much fun Cows aren’t fun They eat to grow, grow to die Die to be et at the hamburger fry Cows well done Nobody thunk it, nobody knew No one imagined the great cow guru Cows are one He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal Cow Tse Tongue He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd Cow doldrums He mooed we must fight, escape or we’ll die Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high Bad cow pun But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate Cows are bummed He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy No one suspected he was packing an Uzi Cows with guns They came with a needle to stick in his thigh He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye Cow well hung Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor Run cows run! He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay We are free roving bovines, we run free today We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns They crashed the gate in a great stampede Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed Cows have fun Sixty police cars were piled in a heap Covered in cow pies, covered up deep Much cow dung Black smoke rising, darkening the day Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns The President said “enough is enough These uppity cattle, its time to get tough” Cow dung flung The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef Cows on buns The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay Cows out gunned The order was given to turn cows to whoppers Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns The lyrics to this song came fro Dana Lyon’s website [http://www.cowswithguns.com](http://www.cowswithguns.com). He had them posted there, and I hope he wouldn’t mind me reposting them here. ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/7 "2001-01-12T01:47:23Z")
Here’s a word that always got me: Ladle (say it over and over again for a while… i dunno, there’s just something so Zen about it…) ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/8 "2001-01-12T01:58:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Upham \* > \*\*…Ladle (say it over and over again for a while… i dunno, there’s just something so Zen about it…) \*\* So what if I’ve got a dozen of them. I collect ladles. Stop looking at me that way! ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/9 "2001-01-12T02:03:51Z")
Have you ever watched a cow try to eat an orange? It’s hillarious and disgusting at the same time. How do people eat their tongues??? ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/10 "2001-01-12T02:04:32Z")
There’s this book by Jane Smiley (like that last name isn’t hilarious) has a book called “Moo.” And this is the kicker–there’s a pig on the cover!!! Now I’m sure if it’s anything like that that other book she wrote, the one that was made into a crappy movie (A Thousand Acres, I think), it’s depressing as hell. But, dude, it’s called Moo. It’s funny! As for the mystique behind “monkey”–you know what Neil Simon says. Words with a K are funny. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/11 "2001-01-12T02:12:48Z")
TYG, her follow-up best seller is… ::pregnant pause:: “Oink” ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/12 "2001-01-12T02:14:20Z")
We prefer the term “Bovine-American.” Moooo bakatcha. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/13 "2001-01-12T02:15:01Z")
Fuckin’ bastardous smilies. ::Pregnant pause:: ::Pregnant pause:: ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/14 "2001-01-12T02:45:30Z")
**Upham** , you magnificent bastard, you’re one lucky sumbiotch. A life surrounded by cows. I can but dream… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ssskuggiii \* > \*\*Have you ever watched a cow try to eat an orange? It’s hillarious and disgusting at the same time. How do people eat their tongues??? > \*\* **ssskuggiii** , I’d love to see a cow trying to eat an orange. Maybe some enterprising young person will create a website dedicated to it. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/15 "2001-01-12T02:57:55Z")
You should’ve been in #straightdope when **racinchikki** and I were telling the city slickers how we had to go out and Scotch-Guard the cows…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Isabella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Queen\_Isabella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Isabella)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/16 "2001-01-12T02:58:08Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d love to see a cow trying to eat an orange. Maybe some enterprising young person will create a website dedicated to it. Hmmm… I’m young… I’m enterprising… I’ll look into that. Anyhoo, what do you all think of the word **baboon**? ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/17 "2001-01-12T03:40:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Upham \* > > \*\*…Ladle (say it over and over again for a while… i dunno, there’s just something so Zen about it…) \*\* > > So what if I’ve got a dozen of them. I collect ladles. > > Stop looking at me that way! \*\* Ladle, ladle, ladle, I made it out of clay… ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/18 "2001-01-12T03:45:09Z")
I thought this thread was going to be about Gary Larson’s _Farside_ cartoon “Cow Tools.” Apparently he’s not the only one that thinks cows are inherently funny. And yeah…I can see it too. Maybe not as much, but humourous. However, just thinking about a cow eating an orange made me burst out laughing, **ssskuggiii**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Orbifold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orbifold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orbifold)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/19 "2001-01-12T03:49:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hypergirl \* > \*\*Have you ever heard the song I am Cow by the Arrogant Worms? It’s extremely amusing. My bf loves it. > \*\* God bless the Arrogant Worms… And lest we forget: the man-eating cows, from “The Tick”! Suspended over a pit of man-eating cows by a man with a chair for a head; I can feel my mind warping. (I forget: were the crocodiles the natural enemies of the man-eating cows, or the other way around?) And then of course there’s: ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616/20 "2001-01-12T04:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ssskuggiii \* > \*\*Have you ever watched a cow try to eat an orange? How do people eat their tongues??? > \*\* With relish! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cows-are-inherently-funny/49616.md?page=2)