# Cracked: The 50 Creepiest Pieces of Romance Advice Ever Published. More Godek insanity **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118 "2011-10-28T20:54:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/1 "2011-10-28T20:54:38Z")
I know there are other dopers who are fans of the Cracked articles that go into Godek’s insane romance advice. There’s a new article out and Godek doesn’t disappoint. Godek has to be the dumbest person to ever get a book published. The advice to go and play mini-golf in your wedding dress and tuxedo is still the most retarded thing anyone has written down in the history of the universe. Link to the new article: [The 50 Creepiest Pieces of Romance Advice Ever Published](http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-50-creepiest-pieces-romance-advice-ever-published/) > [@](#): > > Godek is what abortion doctors picture to make their jobs easier. Previous articles: [11,201 More Pieces of Terrible Advice](http://www.cracked.com/blog/11201-more-pieces-terrible-advice/) [The 4 Most Irresponsible Sex Advice Books of All Time](http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-4-most-irresponsible-sex-advice-books-all-time/) [4 Romantic Books to Disgust and Annoy Your Lover](http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-romantic-books-to-disgust-annoy-your-lover/) ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/2 "2011-10-28T21:10:55Z")
I had to stop reading about midway through the second page (365 ways to kiss your love or whatever) because I was laughing so hard at my desk. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/3 "2011-10-28T21:16:52Z")
Thank you for posting this!! The Godek columns are some of my favorites. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/4 "2011-10-28T21:39:12Z")
That was great! ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/5 "2011-10-28T23:19:17Z")
This article is proof to me that the term “creepy” has now become utterly meaningless. It’s now being used to indicate _anything_ undesirable in a male-female romantic context. These pieces of romantic “advice” are totally idiotic, but they are not “creepy.” ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/6 "2011-10-29T00:46:01Z")
I can’t read the article because my work is a jerk and Cracked is blocked. Goldurnit! ☹ > [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > This article is proof to me that the term “creepy” has now become utterly meaningless. It’s now being used to indicate _anything_ undesirable in a male-female romantic context. These pieces of romantic “advice” are totally idiotic, but they are not “creepy.” Cracked is not a purveyor of word meaning. Also, the article may be \*evidence \*that the definition of “creepy” is changing in a manner you find undesirable. But proof? You’re overreaching. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/7 "2011-10-29T00:52:53Z")
I said it’s proof “to me.” I can actually remember a time not that long ago where the term “creepy” had a really strong, specific emotion connected to it whenever I heard or used it - closely, but not completely, similar to “ominous,” “menacing” and “disturbing.” But now the word is diluted and become totally mild, to the point where it’s almost become a synonym for “odd”. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/8 "2011-10-29T01:08:24Z")
Saying something is “proof to you” doesn’t actually make it proof of anything. You know, I can actually remember a time not that long ago where the term “proof” had a really strong, specific emotion connected to it whenever I heard or used it - closely, but not completely, similar to “fact,” “certainty,” and “indubitability.” ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/9 "2011-10-29T01:40:08Z")
I’m actually a little embarrassed to admit that I bought a book along these lines once. The laura corn 101 nights of great romance, I think it was. You were supposed to tear out the pages and open the little fold or something and reveal the thing to do that was going to make your life so much better. I tried to get my husband to play, but he declined. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/10 "2011-10-29T03:13:29Z")
Thanks to Godek, now I can’t see the briefcase in _Pulp Fiction_ without imagining that it’s a [_briefcase stuffed with Milk Duds_](http://www.cracked.com/blog/11201-more-pieces-terrible-advice/). That is true romance. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/11 "2011-10-29T04:34:39Z")
My god. The page three kissing tips with the bag over the head. I think I hurt myself laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/12 "2011-10-29T05:48:29Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I said it’s proof “to me.” I can actually remember a time not that long ago where the term “creepy” had a really strong, specific emotion connected to it whenever I heard or used it - closely, but not completely, similar to “ominous,” “menacing” and “disturbing.” But now the word is diluted and become totally mild, to the point where it’s almost become a synonym for “odd”. I only just started reading the list, but the two about sending multiple birthday cards seem disturbing to me. “Send her a birthday card EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH” and “Send him a birthday card for each year of his age - one-a-day for as long as it takes or ALL AT ONCE!” are indeed idiotic pieces of advice, but they also strike me as “creepy” in the “this seems like something a serial killer would do” sense. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/13 "2011-10-29T06:37:16Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I only just started reading the list, but the two about sending multiple birthday cards seem disturbing to me. “Send her a birthday card EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH” and “Send him a birthday card for each year of his age - one-a-day for as long as it takes or ALL AT ONCE!” are indeed idiotic pieces of advice, but they also strike me as “creepy” in the “this seems like something a serial killer would do” sense. No I am with **Argent Towers** , they are nothing more than stupid ideas but hardly creepy. I don’t recall any serial killers sending huge numbers of cards to anyone ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/14 "2011-10-29T06:48:14Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > No I am with **Argent Towers** , they are nothing more than stupid ideas but hardly creepy. I don’t recall any serial killers sending huge numbers of cards to anyone Well, if someone started sending me a birthday card every day _I’d_ think it was creepy. And I do mean “creepy” as in provoking a “chill shuddering feeling, caused by horror or repugnance.” (OED) I might have found something like that delightful when I was in elementary school, but not as an adult. That may be part of why it seems creepy – it’s the sort of thing that would only impress a child. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/15 "2011-10-29T06:52:47Z")
I can see what Lamia means about the birthday card thing. It comes across as the sort of thing someone who was obsessed in a stalkery way might do. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/16 "2011-10-29T17:15:57Z")
Awesome. I laughed so hard I scared the cat. Seanbaby is one of the few writers who can consistently make me laugh out loud. I’ve nearly hyperventilated at work trying to choke back laughter so my coworkers won’t think I’ve lost my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/17 "2011-10-29T17:34:15Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > This article is proof to me that the term “creepy” has now become utterly meaningless. It’s now being used to indicate _anything_ undesirable in a male-female romantic context. These pieces of romantic “advice” are totally idiotic, but they are not “creepy.” Whether or not the suggestions are creepy in and of themselves, I think a writer who collects them into a book, as if they are good ideas, is absolutely creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/18 "2011-10-29T20:57:17Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I only just started reading the list, but the two about sending multiple birthday cards seem disturbing to me. “Send her a birthday card EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH” and “Send him a birthday card for each year of his age - one-a-day for as long as it takes or ALL AT ONCE!” are indeed idiotic pieces of advice, but they also strike me as “creepy” in the “this seems like something a serial killer would do” sense. Exactly. I loved this bit: “Hello, Batman. I work at Hallmark and think you’re about to see scores of Birthday-related murders…” ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/19 "2011-10-29T21:22:02Z")
I was rolling my eyes until I got to “Name your boat after her.”, which caused me to burst out laughing. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118/20 "2011-10-29T21:25:33Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Whether or not the suggestions are creepy in and of themselves, I think a writer who collects them into a book, as if they are good ideas, is absolutely creepy. A suggestion to put a bag over your head, run into the room and kiss your sweetie, then run out of the room, remove the bag, and act like nothing has happened is creepy and fucking weird. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracked-the-50-creepiest-pieces-of-romance-advice-ever-published-more-godek-insanity/601118.md?page=2)