# Cracker jokes and novelties. Share yours! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 25, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007 "2003-12-25T14:33:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/1 "2003-12-25T14:33:50Z")
From a box of Sainsbury’s, 12 for GBP9.99 : Q: What do you call a bee with a quiet hum? A mumble bee! Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner! Q: What do you call Mrs. Santa Claus? Mary Christmas, of course! Q: What do you call a girl with a fir tree on her head? Christmas Carol! Loot: a tiny mirror, a magnifying glass, a 3-D assemble-the-ball puzzle, and a strange blue thing with a multifaceted lens one end that you can look through and see multiple images of everything. ---
**Author:** ![Amberlei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Amberlei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amberlei)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/2 "2003-12-25T18:29:15Z")
Christmas crackers aren’t done very much here in the US. Until I moved to the east coast, I’d never even heard of them. Now I’ve heard of them, and seen them, but never gotten one. I should get a box for next year though. Looks like a fun tradition. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/3 "2003-12-25T19:47:39Z")
There were these two red clay farmers. . . . oooops! Wrong crackers. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/4 "2003-12-25T19:57:03Z")
The only time I ever had crackers was when I was living in York. They were fun, but the jokes were L-A-M-E. I see that hasn’t changed since I moved back. ---
**Author:** ![dejahma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dejahma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dejahma)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/5 "2003-12-28T00:44:03Z")
The jokes remind me of Halloween jokes told in St. Louis. Hijack, does any other city in the US require the kids to either tell a joke (trick) or do a song and dance routine (treat) before giving out the snickers bar? End Hijack ps we don’t have a cracker tradition here either but they are now appearing in stores such as William Sonoma. They seem to be way overpriced at about $30 for a dozen. Does this seem overpriced to you UK’ers? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/6 "2003-12-28T01:08:35Z")
It’s five o’clock, it’s Friday, it’s Cracker Joke! [All the latest news on cracker related humour](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/3346427.stm). ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/7 "2003-12-28T01:21:39Z")
The jokes in the OP sound a lot like the kind of jokes you find on Laffy Taffy labels. Do you like those, too? Or are there no Laffy Taffies in the UK? ---
**Author:** ![Shirty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Shirty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirty)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/8 "2003-12-28T12:02:19Z")
The best cracker joke i’ve read in years: How did the man almost drown in his muesli? He was pulled in by a strong currant! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/9 "2003-12-28T12:15:27Z")
We had them at a work morning tea and the crappy little crowns were smaller and wouldn’t fit on anyone’s head. Now that’s cheap. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/10 "2003-12-28T12:18:04Z")
I thought this thread was going to be about white jokes!:o ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/11 "2003-12-28T12:59:27Z")
Me too lol 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/12 "2003-12-28T16:23:59Z")
I’m bummed. ☹ I stayed home for Christmas, so I didn’t get to distribute crackers to my sister and family or my mom and her husband. They like them. (Even my mom’s husband, a taciturn Finn, wears the paper hat!) I _did_ spend Christmas eating Chinese food and watching videos here with **Nymysys** and her husband, but I forgot to give them crackers. (I even got them out and put them on the couch.) Oh, well. There’s always next year. Maybe I’ll have it together then. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/13 "2003-12-28T18:38:55Z")
This is where I get to post a picture from several years back of me and the missus looking like total dorks…wearing [cracker hats](http://home.revealed.net/ddwyer/cracker.jpg) while having Christmas dinner in Dublin. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/14 "2003-12-28T23:04:25Z")
i tossed the joke in the recycling, but i got a dragonfly hair clip as a prize. the prizes this year were better than usual. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cracker-jokes-and-novelties-share-yours/221007/15 "2003-12-29T03:03:14Z")
My prize was a green yo-yo. My riddle was “what do you call a girl with a wreath on her head?” Christmas Carol We also had trivia questions. Mine was “what is the capitol of New York state?” That might have been a tough one back in England, but I live in NY.