# Cramps=OWIE!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 2, 2003, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266 "2003-02-02T06:33:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/41 "2003-02-03T07:23:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > When I was in high school, in the 1990s Gah! Don’t say shit like that, you make me feel old. Not that you’re any younger than me, by the sound of it, but the very idea that having been in high school in the 1990s (and I can claim the early 1990s, even) puts one in some sort of previous generation just makes me itch. I’ll never have a period, about which I’m kinda glad, so I can offer you no empathy, but certainly you have as much sympathy as is mine to give. Also, I would prefer it if no one kicked me in the nuts. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/42 "2003-02-03T11:16:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zweisamkeit \* > **Ooooh, but getting hit in the crotch _really_ hurts for females, too. Or at least it did for me.** Ooooh, I feel your pain there, **zweisamkeit.** Seven years old, poolside, standing on one of those floating pool chair-recliner things, with one foot planted on each arm of the recliner. (Don’t ask me how/why I did this; the “before” memory is vague.) I made the mistake of picking up one foot, intending to get off of it, and my displaced weight unbalanced the whole thing and slammed it into my crotch, at a lovely and perfect 45 degree angle. :eek: I felt like something powerful had reached into my throat and grabbed my windpipe, so that I was choking and gasping and shuddering and retching with pain. I have a vivid, life-flashes-before-your-eyes mental picture of that moment. Guys always talk about their delicate packages…and granted, they’re more vulnerable because of their immediate availability as targets…but I swear, just because it’s not nearly as frequent for a girl to get hit in the crotch doesn’t mean it isn’t as painful. I saw colors that day that I have never seen since in any rainbow. Owwww. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/43 "2003-02-03T11:18:50Z")
And before anyone does, allow me to correct the angle of the damn thing…I meant a _ninety degree_ angle. Hey, just the memory disables my brain momentarily. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/44 "2003-02-03T15:02:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Sweetie, we all sympathize. But the 5-10 minutes you just described, while admittedly agonizing and worthy of sympathy are likely not on a par with truly brutal cramps and FTR, don’t come CLOSE to childbirth. \*\* agreed. My cramps would last (when I was young and had no ibuprofen) for 4 hours, and there were always moments of relief, if only for a minute or so. Childbirth pain was Much worse! It does get better as you age, though. I used to throw up too. ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/45 "2003-02-03T17:23:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Sweetie, we all sympathize. But the 5-10 minutes you just described, while admittedly agonizing and worthy of sympathy are likely not on a par with truly brutal cramps and FTR, don’t come CLOSE to childbirth. \*\* Plus, it’s not like you get hit in the nuts every 28 days for a 3-5 day stretch for 80% of your life span. Maybe a few times in your entire life you experience this pain; we have to figure out a way to live with it, you just have to figure out a way to _avoid_ it. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/46 "2003-02-03T19:23:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Sweetie, we all sympathize. But the 5-10 minutes you just described, while admittedly agonizing and worthy of sympathy are likely not on a par with truly brutal cramps and FTR, don’t come CLOSE to childbirth. \*\* My mother (who also has endometriosis) says she’d rather go through childbirth each month than suffer through the cramps. I’ve never had a child myself, but the cramps from endometriosis, she compares to heavy labor pains, but with added nausea, and, when it’s all over but the shouting, you have nothing to show for it! ---
**Author:** ![Monalisa9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@Monalisa9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monalisa9)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/47 "2003-02-04T00:45:05Z")
Guin, I have a cure that has worked for me for the last 35 years. When you get cramps, boil a cup of water, let it cool just enough for you to stand it (the hotter the better), and sip it slowly until you have been sipping it for about ten minutes. The heat of the water relaxes the smooth muscles of the tummy which, among other things, is what’s causing your problem. My uncle, who was a doc, told me about this remedy. It tastes crappy, but if you do it like I told you, it should work. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/48 "2003-02-04T02:02:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Sweetie, we all sympathize. But the 5-10 minutes you just described, while admittedly agonizing and worthy of sympathy are likely not on a par with truly brutal cramps and FTR, don’t come CLOSE to childbirth. \*\* Umm…how about this…take the patronizing attitude somewhere else toots. How exactly do you **know** that testicular trauma is “not on par with truly brutal cramps, or comes close to childbirth”? Do you have a pair of testes as standard equipment? Have you had them kicked, or suffered ever more severe trauma? Have you had testicular torsion? If the answer to all of these is “no”…then you’re qualifications to make that kind of statement would be…ummm zip. testicular trauma (like cramps, I would guess) can present itself in a range of seriousness…ranging from short lasting pain, that causes no major damage…to testicular torsion or worse (testicular rupture, for example) . See [here](http://kidshealth.org/teen/safety/first_aid/testicular_injuries.html) for a rudimentary primer on the possibilities. For shits and giggles…my wife’s childbirth pain was relatively short (the worst of it lasted 30-45 minutes or so)…while certainly not a walk in the park, based on her comments to me (and my observations)…there are probably a whole host of things that would be worse in the pain department. (FTR, I just double checked this description with my wife…and she said I was correct). Granted…there are plenty of childbirth experiences at the other end of the spectrum. I promise not to downplay the pain experience of cramps or chilbirth…if you extend the same courtesy and don’t automatically assume that testicular trauma is not as big of a deal in the pain department. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/49 "2003-02-04T03:01:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by THespos \* > \*\*Show me the person who can present an objective view on this, my friend. \*\* LOL! Okay, so there’s no meter. But, ask a guy who was in the labor room at that moment when his wife/SO grabbed him around the neck and screamed “DRUGS!!! Or you will die NOW”!!! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/50 "2003-02-04T03:08:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > \*\*Umm…how about this…take the patronizing attitude somewhere else toots. > \*\* It wasn’t patronizing at all! I do sympathize and was not being snide when I said so. I honestly do believe we go through more. Though I do realize after the more nicely stated response of another male poster, that there isn’t a meter or test which could prove this (that I have a cite for, though I’ve heard of such tests). I haven’t seen a man who’s been kicked in the nuts who has had it drag out (at the SAME RANGE OF PAIN) for 24 hours, had to have metal clips attached to the INSIDE parts of his penis, pumped full of Pitocin, which is supposed to help labor begin if things have stalled, but which really just drags things out further makes the agony that much more intense. Not only that, usually men in their agonizing state are given some semblance of privacy, if anyone should have witnessed his unfortunate accident. Not so with childbirth, you get to experience every single agony with a full-on audience of doctors and nurses that basically see you in the most indelicate and inmodest state. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/51 "2003-02-04T03:10:03Z")
Yeah, but periods are inevitable. Being kicked in the nuts is not. Plus, you guys can wear cups. What can we wear? Sipping hot water-is it okay to just make tea, then? I always know when I start to get PMS-I become a monster. Remember my near meltdown back in December? I was massively PMSing. I cry, I scream, I want to throw things, people, I want to pull my hair out, I get so damn cranky. It’s so not fun. I mean, yeah, getting hit in the nuts is no fun, I would imagine, but when you get cramps+moodswings+water retention (IN MY FUCKING EARS!)+pimples+weird cravings+bleeding like a stuck pig!=getting hit in the nuts. I mean, if it was only cramps, I’d agree. But severe periods are bad. However, I can understand why men don’t get them. My friend and I used to wonder what if, men got like, “sperm spurts” or something. But then, since we women have a higher threshhold of pain… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/52 "2003-02-04T03:38:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\* > But, ask a guy who was in the labor room at that moment when his wife/SO grabbed him around the neck and screamed “DRUGS!!! Or you will die NOW”!!! \*\* I **was** in the room for the birth of my daughter. I was the birth coach, my wife chose not to have an epidural…so I know a wee bit about pain management techniques during labor. (again…with the caveat that all birth experiences are different) > [@](#): > > I honestly do believe we go through more. That “belief” is based on nothing but some anecdotal evidence that you may or may not have. I assume you **must** have familiarity with the progression of multiple cases of testicular trauma in order to make that kind of comparison…right? I’m not interested in a pissing match about which pain is more intense or worse…it’s an apples and oranges comparison. I would never think of saying that “I believe” that childbirth or menstrual cramps are **automatically** less severe than the pain possibilities associated with testicular trauma. I wonder why anyone woluld think its ok to argue the reverse… As far as Guins notion that: > [@](#): > > Yeah, but periods are inevitable. Being kicked in the nuts is not. One could argue that periods or childbirth are events that the human body is designed (in most cases) to deal with. The same can’t be said about testicular trauma (or vaginal trauma…or physically striking/kicking/abusing other body parts). But again…those aren’t even my main points. I just wonder why it’s **ok** to suggest that one type of pain is automatically less severe than another…especially when the person doing the comparison has **no** firsthand knowledge of one of the pain experiences. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/53 "2003-02-04T03:49:34Z")
I didn’t SAY it was less severe, I said that it’s not just cramps, but a whole lot more. Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![easy\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@easy\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/easy_e)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/54 "2003-02-04T03:49:50Z")
Here’s where my current course in human sexuality (yes, there’s an actual college course on that) pays off. And I just read the chapter on menstruation tonight. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by OldMan_ > Is there any creature but humans that suffers like this for their fertility? I don’t think so. This may be true, but only because humans are nearly the only animals with a menstrual cycle (the others are a few species of apes and monkeys, and I can’t vouch for their perception of pain). Most other mammals have estrous cycles. Estrous animals have no menstruation (there’s a bit of spotting, but it’s not a real menstrual cycle), ovulation occurs during estrus (the time of slight spotting), but midway between periods during menstruation. And, finally, the key difference that may affect you the most–estrous animals engage in sexual behavior ONLY during estrus, whereas menstrual animals are capable of engaging in sexual behavior througout the cycle. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Terrorcotta_ > What bothers me is why so many of us suffer from this but no one really knows what causes it. I’ll just quote directly from my book (Hyde and DeLameter, Understanding Human Sexuality , 8th ed.) > [@](#): > > Although the exact causes of dysmenorrhea are unknown, the current leading hypothesis involves prostaglandins, hormonelike substances produced by many tissues of the body, including the lining of the uterus (Golub, 1992). Prostaglandins can cause smooth muscle to contract and can affect the size of blood vessels. Women with severe menstrual pain have unusually high levels of prostaglandins. The high levels cause intense uterine contractions, which in turn choke of some of the uterus’s supply of oxygen-carrying blood. Prostaglandins may also cause greater sensitivity in nerve endings. The combination of uterine contractions, lack of oxygen, and heightened nerve sensitivity produces menstrual cramps As for treatments–aspirin appears to be the best and cheapest. It is also an antiprostaglandin. Another recommendation, following **irishgirl** ’s line of thought, is masturbation or intercourse. Again from my book (bolding mine) > [@](#): > > . . . part of the discomfort of menstruation–the pressure and bloating–results from pelvic edema (a congestion of fluids in the pelvic region). During sexual arousal and orgasm, pelvic congestion increases. After orgasm, the congestion dissipates (see Chapter 9). Thus orgasm, whether produced by masturbation or some other means, shouldhelp to relieve the pelvic edema which causes menstrual discomfort. **And it’s a lot more fun than taking medicine!** As for my own experiences, I’ve found that being on birth control helps. But then, I never had it that bad–it was only the first day or so that was uncomfortable. I noticed that using tampons during that time seemed worse than not. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/55 "2003-02-04T12:40:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*I didn’t SAY it was less severe, I said that it’s not just cramps, but a whole lot more. Dammit. \*\* You didn’t, **CanvasShoe** did. That remark was directed to her. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/56 "2003-02-04T15:52:15Z")
minty green quoted: **…Many doctors believe cutting back on menstruation could be healthy. Researchers estimate that women now have three times as many periods (450 over a lifetime) as our hunter-gatherer ancestors, who started menstruating later and spent many more years pregnant or nursing…** ObSF reference: “Even the Queen”, by Connie Willis. ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/57 "2003-02-04T22:10:02Z")
HmmmmÉ aspirin is an antiprostaglandin, huh? Now _THAT’s_ Interesting. Not wildly helpful since aspirin seems to cause me to flood moreÉ ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/58 "2003-02-04T22:10:02Z")
HmmmmÉ aspirin is an antiprostaglandin, huh? Now _THAT’s_ Interesting. Not wildly helpful since aspirin seems to cause me to flood moreÉ ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/59 "2003-02-05T00:34:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > \*\*You didn’t, **CanvasShoe** did. That remark was directed to her. \*\* Ya know, the whole idea of the post was about how painful that time of month is. Then you basically came in and hijacked our gripe by saying (paraphrased) “yeah, but look how awful we guys have it when we get kicked in the testicles” and then not only said that, but proceeded to discribe it in clear and “phased” detail. If THAT’s not being “patronizing”. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266/60 "2003-02-05T02:00:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Ya know, the whole idea of the post was about how painful that time of month is. Then you basically came in and hijacked our gripe by saying (paraphrased) “yeah, but look how awful we guys have it when we get kicked in the testicles” and then not only said that, but proceeded to discribe it in clear and “phased” detail. > > If THAT’s not being “patronizing”. Sheesh. \*\* Wow…are you really this dense? Let’s review…shall we? 1. Guin posts thread complaining about cramps and pain during her menses. 2. Other posters offer sympathy. 3. norinew (a female, obviously) posts this gem > [@](#): > > I think there should be a law that if male SO’s are not sympathetic enough about cramps, we can kick them in the nuts to instill some compassion 🙂 Are you paying attention? The **first** person to mention anything about testicles…referenced kicking them. And yes…I get that she thought she was making a joke. 1. THespos responds > [@](#): > > Not to seem unsympathetic re: cramps, but please don’t even joke about this. So…he’s **not** trying to hijack the thread…but saying testicular trauma isn’t something to joke about. 1. You, **CanvasShoes** respond with > [@](#): > > Sweetie, we all sympathize. But the 5-10 minutes you just described, while admittedly agonizing and worthy of sympathy are likely not on a par with truly brutal cramps and FTR, don’t come CLOSE to childbirth. So. In response to a polite, non hijack, request to not joke about testicular trauma, **YOU** respond with “well it can NEVER be as bad as brutal cramps or childbirth”…an ignorant, unsupported statement. 1. THespos (and I) point out that problem with posing that kind of statement as some sort of objective fact. To emphasize the point (since hell if I know if you evene know what testicular trauma IS), I offer up some specific info about it. The **only** fucking reason anything was said about testicular trauma was because one poster thought it was funny to joke about it…and another thought it could never be as bad as other types of pain. Did I miss anything here? :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cramps-owie/152266.md?page=4)