# Crank: High Voltage -- Holy god, the movie's only 85 minutes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 18, 2009, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515 "2009-04-18T09:25:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/1 "2009-04-18T09:25:05Z")
It felt like it went on at least twice that! Having never seen Crank 1, I was roped into seeing this by a friend who had seen the first, and we both left disappointed. It’s simply not a good movie. No likable characters, stupid action scenes, plenty of gratuitous violence, no story, and some of the worst CGI I’ve seen in recent years (at the very end). Granted, I’m betting all of that (apart from the bad CGI) was intentional, but so what? If a director sets out to make a shitty film and fulfills that goal, it doesn’t get a free pass for simply meeting his own expectations. This film is garbage and one of the worst I’ve seen in years. Had I not depended on my friend for a ride home, I would have walked out. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/2 "2009-04-18T15:32:06Z")
Does [Amy Smart](http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebs/amysmart/amy_smart_2.jpg) screw somebody in front of a busload of Asian tourists in this one, or is it a _total_ waste? ---
**Author:** ![ChrisBooth12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@ChrisBooth12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisBooth12)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/3 "2009-04-18T16:37:41Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Does [Amy Smart](http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebs/amysmart/amy_smart_2.jpg) screw somebody in front of a busload of Asian tourists in this one, or is it a _total_ waste? yeah i wont bother seeing it unless she takes on some type of clothing at one point ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/4 "2009-04-18T16:47:02Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Does [Amy Smart](http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebs/amysmart/amy_smart_2.jpg) screw somebody in front of a busload of Asian tourists in this one, or is it a _total_ waste? Oh yeah, there’s a public sex scene, but she’s clothed for most of it. She does prance around for the first half of the movie practically topless…except for tape covering her nipples…grrr. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/5 "2009-04-18T17:18:45Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > Had I not depended on my friend for a ride home, I would have walked out. That sounds about right - that’s the only reason I sat through the first one. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/6 "2009-04-18T17:37:01Z")
I don’t care one bit about this movie but i’d still like to know how he survived the end of the last one. I know the premise of the movie is that they replaced his heart and he needs electric shocks to stay alive? ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/7 "2009-04-18T17:39:08Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > I don’t care one bit about this movie but i’d still like to know how he survived the end of the last one. I know the premise of the movie is that they replaced his heart and he needs electric shocks to stay alive? Yup. As for how he survived the helicopter fall…well, he just did. He gets scooped off the concrete by the gang, they harvest his heart, and replace it with a mechanical one. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/8 "2009-04-18T18:04:13Z")
I think the whole premise behind this movie is lets see how over the top we can make Jason Statham and keep the fangirls coming back. I mean… the whole reason I watch Jason Statham movies is to see him as nude as possible while kicking ass. I’m pretty sure that’s the whole reason my girl friends watch his movies, and sometime soon I’m sure my butt will be in a seat watching it with my friends. I think the last few times I’ve been to his movies, many of the seats were girls… ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/9 "2009-04-18T18:48:32Z")
What do you expect from a sequel of a movie that was based around the death of the protagonist? Jason Statham is indeed hot, and he’s in some really good movies like Revolver. We watched the Transporter 3 the other day, cheesy as fuck but kind of fun. Crank 2 has no excuse for existing, and we will not be seeing it. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/10 "2009-04-18T18:54:01Z")
> [@ChrisBooth12](#): > > yeah i wont bother seeing it unless she takes on some type of clothing at one point Awesome. That’s the scene that ruined the first movie for me: the most misogynist moment in mainstream movies since _True Lies_. Also incredibly gratuitous: made no sense at all, and was obviously included just for the cavemen in the audience. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/11 "2009-04-18T18:59:59Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > …and he’s in some really good movies like Revolver… This is a joke, yes? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/12 "2009-04-18T19:01:34Z")
The original Crank is three years old, and I’ve never even heard of it. Is this supposed to be mainstream? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/13 "2009-04-18T19:02:53Z")
I really want to see Jason become a good action star - but man he picks bad movies to do. I don’t guess I’ll be seeing this one either. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/14 "2009-04-18T20:16:23Z")
I’ve seen the trailer for this twice, and it strikes me as perhaps the stupidest concept in the history of film. Even the dialog in the trailer is unintentionally hilarious. “If you can get hold of your heart, I’m reasonably sure I can put it back in.” (With an X-acto knife on his kitchen table, probably. And “reasonably sure”? I’d want better odds than that.). But I now have a new sig. “You’re going to tell me exactly who has my heart.” ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/15 "2009-04-18T20:28:48Z")
Wow. I guess I’m the only one who really liked the first _Crank_, eh? And two looks really, really good. So, like enjoying The Tommyknockers and Left Behind books, looks like I join the extreme minority here. :o ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/16 "2009-04-18T20:44:13Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Wow. I guess I’m the only one who really liked the first _Crank_, eh? I liked _Crank_ quite a bit, though I didn’t see it in theatres. The whole thing is a ridiculous parody of the action movie genre (rather like _Shoot 'Em Up_) and I’d rather view it as a hyperkinetic black comedy than anything else. But Statham’s character surviving… I find that insulting on some level. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/17 "2009-04-18T22:03:50Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Wow. I guess I’m the only one who really liked the first _Crank_, eh? I liked it for what it was, and I’m sure I’ll like this one for what it is.. but not enough to buy the DVD. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/18 "2009-04-18T22:23:53Z")
I saw Crank on TV, and I have to admit it wasn’t bad watching. Better with beer and playing a video game on the side, though. Of course, I thought it was something of a _comedy_, so your mileage may vary. It was a bloody hilarious comedy, though. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/19 "2009-04-18T22:53:30Z")
Crank was awesome! I don’t expect the sequel to be any good though. CHELIOS!!! ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/20 "2009-04-19T03:01:07Z")
I loved the first Crank, and I thought this one was hilarious! It’s mind-bogglingly stupid, but in a very clever way. As I was in the theater watching this, I was wishing I owned a car so I could see this at a drive-in. Driving into the middle of a porn star picket line? A 3 way gun battle between a Mexican gang, a Chinese gang and a bunch of machine-gun equipped strippers - then the gay S&M bikers show up? This thing was like an[S. Clay Wilson story](http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=S+Clay+Wilson&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=XJPqSdqrF5KWMYqGmdQF&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title) come to life. Later that day I saw “State of Play”, which is it’s exact opposite, and enjoyable for completely different reasons. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515.md?page=2)