# Crank: High Voltage -- Holy god, the movie's only 85 minutes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 18, 2009, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515 "2009-04-18T09:25:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/41 "2009-04-21T02:42:39Z")
I always found the Trasporter series to be a pretty good one too. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/42 "2009-04-21T03:20:48Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > I always found the Trasporter series to be a pretty good one too. I really enjoyed the first one, and to a lesser extent, the third. The second was pretty poor, though. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/43 "2009-04-21T13:55:00Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > I really enjoyed the first one, and to a lesser extent, the third. The second was pretty poor, though. The best thing about the second one is the crazy chick with the submachine guns. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/44 "2009-04-21T16:32:38Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > I really enjoyed the first one, and to a lesser extent, the third. The second was pretty poor, though. Ah well, donā€™t see the third one then! They only get worse. ---
**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/45 "2009-04-21T16:40:52Z")
That movie he did with Jet Li was awful. But that other movie he did with Jet Li was pretty decent. ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/46 "2009-04-21T18:02:58Z")
I agree with the OP, the movie sucked. I liked the first one. Sure it was a silly premis, but it walked that fine line between poking fun at the genre without going over it into crap. Which this movie dove right into a pile of and wallowed around in it. Even the large amounts of female nudity couldnā€™t make up for this. And I actually found myself annoyed at the wierd pixilated scenes. There are ways of setting up a shot not to show parts of the body if you want to, having pixles across them was just stupid. Terrible movie. Even worse than _Dragonball Evolution_. Iā€™m not having much luck with movies lately. Even the ones I go to only for the cheesy popcorn flick value are falling short. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/47 "2009-04-22T01:27:26Z")
Ah, I was a fan of crank, and this one definately hit all the right spots, they took all the talking out of Crank and just ramped it up to 11 for this movie. And I also totally agree with Gaffa. That was my comment to my buddy: ā€œThis film replaces Grindhouse as the most Grindhousey film Iā€™ve seen.ā€ It looked like they had fun with making the film, and it was def. entertaining. Summing up Amy Smartā€™s characterā€™s justification of how he survived the fall: ā€œI saw it happen once on Youtube!ā€ šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/48 "2009-04-25T19:30:16Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > As for IMDBā€“scores close to a release date are notoriously unreliable. Itā€™ll drop over time as more (non-fanboys) people see the film. As proof of this, the score has already dropped from its 8.0 to a 7.6. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/49 "2009-04-25T20:01:04Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Iā€™ve seen the trailer for this twice, and it strikes me as perhaps the stupidest concept in the history of film. Even the dialog in the trailer is unintentionally hilarious. > > ā€œIf you can get hold of your heart, Iā€™m reasonably sure I can put it back in.ā€ > (With an X-acto knife on his kitchen table, probably. And ā€œreasonably sureā€? Iā€™d want better odds than that.) The character who says that is a heart surgeon with a functional OR in his house, so itā€™s not THAT stupid. I thought the movie was a blast. Like **jackdavinci** said, itā€™s a videogame. The absurdity is the point. It isnā€™t supposed to be believable, it isnā€™t supposed to be a story, itā€™s supposed to be a frenetic, surrealistic, live action cartoon. Itā€™s a joke. The whole thing is a parody of hollywood, superhuman, action hero steretypes. Chelios is not supposed to be a real, plausible person. Heā€™s Duke Nukem. Heā€™s ā€œaction heroā€ pushed to its most absurd limits and then beyond. If youā€™re tying to watch it staright, then of course youā€™re not going to get it. Itā€™s like watching _Scary Movie_ expecting to get scared. I thought _Crank 2_ was pretty inventive and clever in a number of ways ā€“ the dream sequence of Chelios as a child on a talk show, the title card reading ā€œ9 seconds laterā€ during a foot chase, the gay biker with Full Body Touretteā€™s, David Carradine as an ancient, Chinese pussy hound. The whole movie was full of winks and wit and energy. If the OP didnā€™t get it, he didnā€™t get it. Fine, whatever. I canā€™t agree that it was ā€œgarbage,ā€ though. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/50 "2009-04-25T20:14:41Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > If the OP didnā€™t get it, he didnā€™t get it. Fine, whatever. I canā€™t agree that it was ā€œgarbage,ā€ though. This line always seems to get trotted out whenever someoneā€™s opinion of something is contrary to anotherā€™s. Itā€™s not a matter of ā€œnot gettingā€ā€“I get it, the movie was intentionally stupidā€“that doesnā€™t mean I have to like it. There have been plenty of ā€œstupidā€ movies Iā€™ve enjoyed. Crank: High Voltage is not one of the. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/51 "2009-04-25T20:16:45Z")
It wasnā€™t ā€œstupid,ā€ intentionally or otherwise. It was absurdist. Thereā€™s a difference. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/52 "2009-04-25T20:17:34Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > It wasnā€™t ā€œstupid,ā€ intentionally or otherwise. It was absurdist. Thereā€™s a difference. I know, I was being facetious. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/53 "2009-04-25T20:25:28Z")
Oh you guys are so Dada! ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/54 "2009-04-26T17:37:40Z")
I agree with \*\*Diogenes the Cynic \*\*. In fact, this may be my favorite movie of the year. I canā€™t remember the last time I enjoyed a movie so much. Look folks: As someone from Fark said, this movie is Tom and Jerry with whores. Stop asking questions, grab a beer, grab some PopRocks and let your ID run free. If you need for there to be a reason for something to happen apart from ā€œbecause it would be freaking awesome if it didā€ buy a ticket for something else. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/55 "2009-04-26T17:44:41Z")
> [@JoeSki](#): > > Look folks: As someone from Fark said, this movie is Tom and Jerry with whores. Stop asking questions, grab a beer, grab some PopRocks and let your ID run free. If you need for there to be a reason for something to happen apart from ā€œbecause it would be freaking awesome if it didā€ buy a ticket for something else. Let me break this down: I found nothing in the movie to be ā€œfreaking awesomeā€ā€“period. Even if such scenes existed in a vacuum and I had no knowledge of the surrounding mediocrity, I would not think any higher of the scenes in that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/56 "2009-04-26T18:20:10Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > Let me break this down: I found nothing in the movie to be ā€œfreaking awesomeā€ā€“period. Even if such scenes existed in a vacuum and I had no knowledge of the surrounding mediocrity, I would not think any higher of the scenes in that movie. Did you enjoy the first movie at all? 'Cause, I mean, this was a sequel to the movie where the main character fell thousands of feet out of a helicopterā€¦ and lived to run around like a maniac three months later. Logic and reality need not apply- the positionā€™s already been filled by action and absurdity. I enjoyed it. I didnā€™t like it as much as the first movie, but I donā€™t regret the cost of the movie ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/57 "2009-04-26T18:41:53Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > Did you enjoy the first movie at all? 'Cause, I mean, this was a sequel to the movie where the main character fell thousands of feet out of a helicopterā€¦ and lived to run around like a maniac three months later. Logic and reality need not apply- the positionā€™s already been filled by action and absurdity. > > I enjoyed it. I didnā€™t like it as much as the first movie, but I donā€™t regret the cost of the movie ticket. As I stated in the OP, I did not see the first movie. And the helicopter drop didnā€™t really bother me at all. A movie doesnā€™t have to make sense for me to like it; it just has to be enjoyable, which this was not. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/58 "2009-04-27T02:04:52Z")
From the trailers, it looks like itā€™s a parody of those stupid, over the top action movies (and a bit of Jason Statham making fun of himself). Am I right, or does any meta-humor have to be self-brought? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/59 "2009-04-27T03:46:43Z")
> [@dotchan](#): > > From the trailers, it looks like itā€™s a parody of those stupid, over the top action movies (and a bit of Jason Statham making fun of himself). Am I right, or does any meta-humor have to be self-brought? Youā€™re right. The movie in no way takes itself seriously. ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515/60 "2009-04-27T04:23:12Z")
Probably one of the better movies of the past couple of years. Awesome in its awesomeness. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crank-high-voltage-holy-god-the-movies-only-85-minutes/493515.md?page=4)