# Crap future X-men movie mutants **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 28, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708 "2003-03-28T04:38:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/201 "2003-05-08T23:38:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by X~Slayer(ALE)_ > > > > - Mutant ability to cause an intense orgams in any normal human being. > > **Orgasmo** , surely? No no, he didn’t say this mutant could cause intense **orgasms** in any normal human being, he said that (s)he could cause intense **orgams** in any normal human being. Whatever an “orgam” is. I propose that this superhero be called: _ **The Living Orgam Bank** _ … and stop calling me Surely. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/202 "2003-05-09T09:41:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > No no, he didn’t say this mutant could cause intense **orgasms** in any normal human being, he said that (s)he could cause intense **orgams** in any normal human being. > > Whatever an “orgam” is. As opposed to **Captain Dianetic** : Able to detect **engrams** in any normal human being. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/203 "2003-05-09T16:50:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Squange \* > \*\*how about: > > **The Stump:** Able to make his hands and feet fall off instantly…once. > \*\* [It’s been done…](http://ape-law.com/GAF/Page21/) ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/204 "2003-05-09T16:56:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WonTon Sean \* > \*\*The Human Zit - Able to pop pimples on enemies from a distance of 14 feet > \*\* [It’s been done](http://www.uky.edu/Projects/Chemcomics/html/em_2_1_es.html) ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/205 "2003-05-09T17:05:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AtomicDog \* > \*\ ***The Commando** - Able to make anyone’s underwear disappear while they are fully clothed. \*\* [It’s been done](http://users.telerama.com/~fiasco/comic/megaton/megaton.html) This is _fun._ ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/206 "2003-05-09T17:47:44Z")
Apparently, it’s been done three times. ---
**Author:** ![Prisoner\_24601](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a6a055/32.png) [@Prisoner\_24601](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prisoner_24601)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/207 "2003-05-09T21:16:11Z")
How about the evil Reality-Showmaster, he has the ability to entrance millions of idiots for hour and replicate himself hundreds of times. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/208 "2003-05-10T05:31:58Z")
Bondagegirl – Can arouse any man sexually even with both hands tied behind her back … actually ONLY with both hands tied behind her back. Alarm Man – Can wake up at any time he wishes, to the minute, no matter how deeply he’s sleeping. The Shadowed – Able to cloud his own mind. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/209 "2003-05-10T06:48:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BMalion \* > \*\*[It’s been done](http://users.telerama.com/~fiasco/comic/megaton/megaton.html) > > This is _fun._ \*\* Then there’s **BMalion-Man!** Able to throw a wet blanket across the entire length of a thread! ---
**Author:** ![The\_MacDairmuid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_MacDairmuid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_MacDairmuid)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/210 "2003-05-10T08:08:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Peg \* > \*\*Actually, I’m partial to **Vuja de** : can induce the feeling that this has never happened to you before. Temporary intrigue & ensuing pause to think about it in enemies helpful in combat (run away!). \*\* **Vuja de** has a counterpart, **Vu Jadé** : Who can make you feel that you never want to see this again. **Alfalectrical** : Who causes any vehicle she’s in to have randomly occuring, short-term electrical problems. **The Arroganmancer** : Who knows everything you don’t. **Primus** : Codebreaker who knows every single prime number, but is so engrossed in keeping up to date with them that he can’t pause to tell you any of them. **The Collator** : alphabetical any can instantly into order. sentence sort Who ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/211 "2003-05-10T19:10:22Z")
Bondagegirl – Can arouse any man sexually even with both hands tied behind her back … actually ONLY with both hands tied behind her back. Alarm Man – Can wake up at any time he wishes, to the minute, no matter how deeply he’s sleeping. The Shadowed – Able to cloud his own mind. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/212 "2003-05-11T05:09:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChaosGod \* > \*\*she-man - has the qualities of both male and fem… uh…forget it \*\* It’s been done: [She Male](http://www.supermegatopia.com/profiles/shemale.htm) ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/213 "2003-05-11T07:28:29Z")
Rot Man - able to greatly accelerate decomposing matter. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/214 "2003-05-11T12:19:46Z")
That might be useful… They fight somewhere with corpses and he shoots them at the opponent. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/215 "2003-05-12T20:34:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shijinn \* > \*\*Rot Man - able to greatly accelerate decomposing matter. \*\* Rot13 Man - noyr gb terngyl nppryrengr qrpbzcbfvat znggre. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/216 "2003-05-17T00:52:08Z")
\ Darn kids these days! They don’t even get rot13 jokes any more. Message boards have spoiled our nation’s youth so that they’ll never know the glories of Usenet. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/217 "2003-05-17T01:32:51Z")
The Partisan - able to instantly polarize any debate to create two opposing camps that are completely unable (or… unwilling?) to listen to anything the other side has to say. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/218 "2003-05-17T01:35:16Z")
**White Lightning:** That sounds like the reverse of The Envoy from the _Wildcards_ books. (He emits pheromones which make everybody really really agreeable.) ---
**Author:** ![WonTon\_Sean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WonTon\_Sean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WonTon_Sean)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/219 "2003-05-17T04:31:14Z")
Captain Sleep- Can instantly cause self to fall asleep for exactly 8 hours. ---
**Author:** ![ChaosGod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac91a4/32.png) [@ChaosGod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChaosGod)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708/220 "2003-05-17T04:49:17Z")
Captain DeadHorse -\> Can post on this thread forever [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-future-x-men-movie-mutants/164708.md?page=12)