# CRAP! (Or, "Why I'm too stupid to own a car.") **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 27, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434 "2001-11-27T03:14:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/1 "2001-11-27T03:14:30Z")
Ok, so my car has been running kinda rough, so I check the oil last week, and low and behold. I don’t have any. So I put in some oil and go on my merry way. Today, I’m driving happily on my way to work, when the Check Engine light comes on, and the oil pressure drops to **ZERO**!!! Ok, now that’s never good, so I coast into a gas station that I just happen to be beside, and check the oil. **WTF?!?!?** I don’t have any. **CEEEEERAP!** Ok, so I add some oil, and inquire with the fellas in the gas station as to weather or not it’s ok for me to continue on to work. They seem to think it is, so off I go. I arrived at work, and discussed my situation with a few people, including my mechanic with whom I have an appointment on Monday. (A week today). Well, one of these fellows, that apparently knows what he’s talking about (his dads a mechanic) came and looked at my car. According to him, I’m burning oil in a huge-ass way, and my piston rings are shot, and my Filbert Flange won’t mesh with my Grapple Grommet, etc., etc… He says “Sell the Car - Pronto.” But… If the car is crap, who’s gonna buy it? Simple he says “Put some Gook-Brand-X[sup]TM[/sup] in the car - this will minimize the oil burning problem and you can get this beast off your hands.” Well, yah - but then I have to foist it onto some other unsuspecting sop, which would put my karmic balance WAY in the negative, and nothing short of donating bone-marrow (which I am signed up to do, BTW) will put me back to neutral. **CRAP**! I don’t WANT to sell my car. I like my car, but getting it fixed will cost a mint. I currently can’t afford to buy a NEW car, so I would have to buy used. Again. And wind up with the same problems, only a different car. So I don’t know what to do? Should I anti up, and get my car fixed - apparently with my problems, replacing the engine with a rebuilt one would probably be my cheapest option, but still around $1,200. Alternatively, I could foist my car off on someone for way less than the book value, in an “As-Is” state, get around $2,000, and buy a new, used car. However, $2,000 doesn’t buy much of a car these days. I could also dip into my savings, and maybe come up with $4,500 for a new, used car, but I would really rather use the money to buy X-mas presents. Finally, I can just add oil religiously to my current, poor, maligned car, and hope for the best. (AKA - drive it until the engine seizes, and I HAVE to buy a new car.) So - anyone have any suggestions? Please be gentle - I’m feeling really stupid about this. (FYI - the car burned oil since I bought it 2 years ago - the guy at JiffyLube told me not to worry about it - just use Slick50 or some such thing. I believed him.) For the record, it’s an '89 Ford Probe. [sub]Please save the Ford jokes for another time, SVP[/sub] Al. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/2 "2001-11-27T03:22:50Z")
Please do not sell your car in its unfixed state to anyone else, without first completely divulging all of its problems to them. Please. There are few things in the world worse than buying a used car and then having it go all to shit a week later because the previous owner failed to tell you about some major problem it’s having. I am not completely sure about this, but I think it is even illegal in some (or most?) states to sell a car without informing the new owner of its problems. Also, I am pretty sure that if you ever check your oil and there is none – like, the dipstick is totally clean – that is a sign of a serious problem. Either that or you need to check your oil way more often than you have been. A quart low is pretty normal; totally out of oil isn’t. Anyway, good luck with the car situation, and let me reiterate: please for the love of God do not foist this problem off on someone else without telling them about it. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/3 "2001-11-27T03:23:58Z")
I forgot to mention that the oil-burning thing is not the only problem. I also have a leaky radiator, and a clutch that’s going to need replaced sooner, rather than later. Oh, and just to make this pit worthy: fuck. Thank you for your time. Al. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/4 "2001-11-27T03:35:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsWhatsit \* > \*\* I am not completely sure about this, but I think it is even illegal in some (or most?) states to sell a car without informing the new owner of its problems. \*\* Hence the “As-Is” statement. My friend seems to think that 1. if I sell it for $2,000 less than it’s book value 2. I sell it “as is” and 3. I sell it to a mechanic type person, it’s Karmatically OK. > [@](#): > > \*\*Also, I am pretty sure that if you ever check your oil and there is none – like, the dipstick is totally clean – that is a sign of a serious problem. \*\* Not to belabor the point, but why on earth do you think I posted the OP? I **KNOW** I’ve got big problems. You do not replace your engine when you have small problems. You do not try to buy a crappy $2,000 used car when you have small problems. When you have small problems, you fix them. You do not post page and a half long posts to the BBQ Pit on a message board. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Anyway, good luck with the car situation, and let me reiterate: please for the love of God do not foist this problem off on someone else without telling them about it. \*\* Yah, yah, yah. I already said I know it’s not a nice thing to do. I said I wasn’t comfortable with it. The only saving grace would be knocking $2,000 of the purchase price - that’s less than the cost of the repair. Al. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/5 "2001-11-27T03:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > Not to belabor the point, but why on earth do you think I posted the OP? I **KNOW** I’ve got big problems. You do not replace your engine when you have small problems. You do not try to buy a crappy $2,000 used car when you have small problems. When you have small problems, you fix them. You do not post page and a half long posts to the BBQ Pit on a message board. I was responding to the first paragraph of your OP: “Ok, so my car has been running kinda rough, so I check the oil last week, and low and behold. I don’t have any. So I put in some oil and go on my merry way.” You probably should have taken it to a mechanic at that point, rather than having waited awhile for the engine light to come on. Not that I think you are a total moron for not realizing this, or anything; I just thought I would point it out for future reference. > [@](#): > > Yah, yah, yah. I already said I know it’s not a nice thing to do. I said I wasn’t comfortable with it. Then don’t do it. If you do, it would only be karmic justice if the replacement car you bought turned out to have a bad clutch, bad engine, and bad transmission – but you found out about it a week after you’d paid for it. Selling it to a mechanic probably isn’t a bad idea, though. As long as you inform him/her of the problems it has, of course. I’m guessing a mechanic would be more willing to take it off your hands and fix it up than the average Joe Schmoe on the street would. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/6 "2001-11-27T03:47:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsWhatsit \* > \*\* > You probably should have taken it to a mechanic at that point, rather than having waited awhile for the engine light to come on. \*\* Gee, well **THAT** certainly never occurred to me. Hence the thread title “Why I’m too stupid to own a car.” But thanks for pointing it out. For future reference. I may have forgotten in the last 4 minutes since I posted the original message. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/7 "2001-11-27T03:51:02Z")
Er, I wasn’t trying to be insulting, at all. Really. I’m just going to leave this thread now, and go drink my iced tea all by myself in the corner. Sorry? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/8 "2001-11-27T03:56:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsWhatsit \* > \*\*Sorry? \*\* Yah - I’m sorry too. I’m just **REALLY** stressed out about this problem, and have **NO** idea what to do about it. I’m actually considering selling my house, to get the equity and buy myself a really cool car with a warranty. That, however, seems a tad shortsighted. \ ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/9 "2001-11-27T04:22:32Z")
Oy, go get a tube of Berryman’s gook, and poor it in the damned crankcase. It’ll stop the leakage, and might even stop the blow-by for a while(the oil burnin thang). Sell it, and yes, it’s ok to sell a car “As-is”, and have your **Carma** be ok as long as you tell the rings are shot to hell. Don’t sweat it too much. Also, it’s time for the old VW van ritual of filling up and checking the oil at the same time…it’ll save you from that siezed motor. Sam ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/10 "2001-11-27T04:37:44Z")
Barryman’s Gook, you say. Humm. Perhaps I’ll try that. Why does everything always happen at once? Just when you think you’re getting in good shape financially, the stupid car goes. Crap. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/11 "2001-11-27T05:48:20Z")
Anyone who is buying a used car knows they are buying it “as is”, and if they don’t get an inspection, they get what they deserve. That is the curbside law. When I sell a used car, I don’t divulge any more information than I have to; people who are buying used cars know that the car is being sold for a reason; it’s like a dance. You advertise it as “uses some oil”, and a buyer will read that as “needs engine rebuilt”. No problem. Chances are, the buyer will be a backyard mechanic who will talk you down to $500 less than you’re asking anyway. (ps - never sell used cars to family or friends you’d like to keep. That’s what God made strangers for.) ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/12 "2001-11-27T05:55:11Z")
Thanks **featherlou** , but I really don’t think I could sell the car in good faith to anyone, unless they were a mechanic. For what its worth, it looks like the guy that sold **ME** the car kinda scammed me. I did get the car inspected, and they told me everything was ok, but that it had an oil leak. Ok - I’m thinking new oil pan gasket, $300, no worries. The car doesn’t have a leak. At all. It burns oil big time and always has. I’m feeling a little crusty. Oh well, I suppose of all the things that could go wrong in the world, having a poorly runing car is pretty low on the list. Thanks for the advice though. Al. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/13 "2001-11-27T06:28:00Z")
Steps to Good Karma in This Situation: [list=1][_]Find a mechanic type (or wannabe) person who will buy the car for parts, knowing full well it’s a complete clunker.[_]Failing that, find a junk yard which will buy the car at junk value (last I heard, back in 1985 California, that’s $50), knowing full well it’s a complete clunker.[_]Park it somewhere with the key in it and the door unlocked, hoping some thief takes it (for parts, of course)–no scratch that; it’ll only give the thief worse karma.[_]Most important–GET ME OUT OF THIS LOTUS POSITION![/list=1] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/14 "2001-11-27T06:53:07Z")
Alice, My wife and I were in an even worse situation. But Sept. 11 and the recession have made car dealers desperate. If you have a job, and some cash down, you can get a decent used car. We got a '96 Olds Achieva on decent terms, with minimal money down. Make sure you have a mechanic (someone you trust) check the car out thoroughly before signing anything. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/15 "2001-11-27T06:58:24Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Monty \* \*\*Steps to Good Karma in This Situation: [list=1][li]Find a mechanic type (or wannabe) person who will buy the car for parts, knowing full well it’s a complete clunker.[_]Failing that, find a junk yard which will buy the car at junk value (last I heard, back in 1985 California, that’s $50), knowing full well it’s a complete clunker.[_]Park it somewhere with the key in it and the door unlocked, hoping some thief takes it (for parts, of course)–no scratch that; it’ll only give the thief worse karma.Most important–GET ME OUT OF THIS LOTUS POSITION![/list=1] \*\*[/li][/QUOTE] Or, option 5, which is what I’m leaning towards - see what my mechanic says. If he thinks he can get the car running and road worthing for $1,000 - $1,500 thats a pretty good option. If it lasts me even for a year, that’s only about $100/month - way less than a car payment. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/16 "2001-11-27T07:12:23Z")
BTW- It’s not called Berryman’s Gook, it’s made by Berryman’s, and it **is** gook… There are several varieties of the stuff, made by several different companies(I’d use Berryman’s). They will all fill the space between cylinder wall and rings and help out with other minor leaks. Sam ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/17 "2001-11-27T13:04:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > Or, option 5, which is what I’m leaning towards - see what my mechanic says. If he thinks he can get the car running and road worthing for $1,000 - $1,500 thats a pretty good option. If it lasts me even for a year, that’s only about $100/month - way less than a car payment. Now you’re thinking. You have to take care of your transportation situation BEFORE Something Bad happens to the car or you. If the mechanic can fix it at a price you can afford - OK. But you said it wasn’t just the engine that’s a problem. This car can nickel and dime you to death. If the fix is not affordable you _have_ to bite the bullet and either get a new (used) car or start taking the bus. Certainly, sell the old car for what you can get, but also let the buyer know there are engine problems. This may mean you get very little for it, but at least you’ll sleep well at night. Then - when you’re looking for a new (used) car, take someone knowledgable about cars with you, someone with no financial interest in the outcome (other than, perhaps, paying a mechanic for his professional opinion) so you can get something drivable in relative safely for the couple thousand you can afford that will not bleed you dry. And promise yourself to check the oil regularly. ---
**Author:** ![Macro\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Macro\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macro_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/18 "2001-11-27T13:21:07Z")
Alice, It’s pretty well certain that any 12 YO ford will have problems, and is reflected in the resale value of the car already. You have two options: Sell the car and not make a big deal about the oil usage unless they ask. Seriously, anyone buying a car of this vintage knows they’re not getting a 1999 Honda (or even a 1989 Honda). Price it in fair condition, then accept 20% below that. Keep dumping various “leak-ender” concoctions in the engine until the leak slows down. This is probably the cheapest way to go, and will get you through the holidays. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/19 "2001-11-27T14:30:55Z")
If you like the car, get a new (rebuilt) engine for it. Have the repair outfit do the clutch at the same time, since they’d have to pull the engine to do the clutch anyway. You might as well have the radiator replaced, too, and get it all over with at once. It’s going to cost some money, but **it’s still going to be much, much cheaper than a new car**. This is what I did with my '85 Omni when it bent a rod; I love the car (roomy, powerful) and so I fixed it. If you don’t like the car, cut your losses, sell the car, be honest about its problems. ---
**Author:** ![Dilbert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58f4c7/32.png) [@Dilbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dilbert)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434/20 "2001-11-27T14:39:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rocketeer \* > **It’s going to cost some money, but it’s still going to be much, much cheaper than a new car. This is what I did with my '85 Omni when it bent a rod; I love the car (roomy, powerful) and so I fixed it.** Wow, that’s the first time I ever heard someone describe and Omni that way. But it you like your car, more power to you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-or-why-im-too-stupid-to-own-a-car/95434.md?page=2)