# Crap salad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 21, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074 "2013-07-21T00:28:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/1 "2013-07-21T00:28:25Z")
Posted by me in 2005: > [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > My mom used to make ‘crap salad’, which I called ‘that jello salad with the apples and walnuts in it’. ANIACR, it consisted of lime Jell-O, lemon Jell-O, cottage cheese, diced red apples, diced green apples, chopped walnuts, and some Miracle Whip. If Pepto Bismol were green instead of pink, that’s what colour it was. Unbelievably, it was actually good! If anyone has the ‘official recipe’, I’d like to see it. My mom got it from my recently-late aunt in the '50s who got it from a women’s magazine. As I said, that’s as near as I can remember; but I think that’s all that’s in it. I don’t suppose anyone does have the official recipe? Or at least can give me some proportions? Not that I’m extremely likely to make it, but one never knows… ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/2 "2013-07-21T00:34:57Z")
I have heard of a recipe for ‘crap salad’, but I’m pretty sure it’s not the one you’re looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/3 "2013-07-21T01:44:34Z")
Just ask for a Waldorf salad, with lemon lime jello added. And if the cook gives you any trouble, bust his ass! ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/4 "2013-07-21T02:23:43Z")
Are you thinking of [this one](http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/knox/4.html), on James Lileks’ _Gallery of Regrettable Food_. I can’t tell if it’s using peas or chopped apples. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/5 "2013-07-21T02:26:09Z")
I have a few vintage Jell-o recipe collections. I just flipped through and didn’t find exactly what you’ve posted about. I do have a recipe for tuna and avocado jell-o salad, one with liver pate in it, and another with potatoes. Suddenly “crap salad” doesn’t sound so bad. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/6 "2013-07-21T13:33:30Z")
I found something that [looks like it](http://myblessedlife.net/2010/04/memaws-lemon-lime-jello-salad.html). That version is different though. It has pineapple, cream cheese, and mayonnaise instead of apples, cottage cheese, and Miracle Whip. I don’t know if mom used condensed milk. > [@gwendee](#): > > Suddenly “crap salad” doesn’t sound so bad. Mom and Aunt Barbara called it ‘crap salad’ because it has so much crap in it, or because you throw a bunch of crap together. I always called it ‘that green jello stuff with the apples and nuts in it’. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/7 "2013-07-21T13:37:00Z")
I use avocado slices in orange Jello! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/8 "2013-07-21T14:03:14Z")
I can’t find the right book from my collection of bad 60s and 70s cookbooks (I believe it’s the one that is a compendium of recipes off packaged food) but I think it was called a congealed salad. Supposedly it was a southern delicacy. With that in mind [here’s one](http://books.google.com.au/books?id=jqc3N2CMVgAC&pg=PA30&dq=congealed+salad&hl=en&sa=X&ei=uebrUaHwKtGciAeh_4H4BA&ved=0CFgQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=congealed%20salad&f=false) and here’s [another](http://books.google.com.au/books?id=QQJLKCwcxvUC&pg=PA120&dq=congealed+salad&hl=en&sa=X&ei=uebrUaHwKtGciAeh_4H4BA&ved=0CEwQ6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q=congealed%20salad&f=false). ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/9 "2013-07-21T14:47:52Z")
I don’t see why you couldn’t just gather the ingredients and eyeball it. The jello just binds the ingredients together. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/10 "2013-07-21T14:52:31Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I don’t see why you couldn’t just gather the ingredients and eyeball it. The jello just binds the ingredients together. Kind of like a Tolkien Salad? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/11 "2013-07-21T14:56:06Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I don’t see why you couldn’t just gather the ingredients and eyeball it. The jello just binds the ingredients together. No experience with that sort of thing. I’d like to have at least some idea of the proportions. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/12 "2013-07-21T15:04:03Z")
Equal amounts of sweet and salty and crunchy and soft works for me. Be careful with any other spice/flavour. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/13 "2013-07-21T15:29:23Z")
It’s actually not difficult to find “crap” listed on menus over here. The Thais are always misspelling “crab” in this manner. “Crap omelette,” “crap salad,” you name it. Seriously. My grandmother used to make something the family always called “green salad.” It was green Jello with a layer of cream cheese inside it. Really good. I miss that. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/14 "2013-07-21T18:01:37Z")
Here is one I found in an old church cookbook. 1 small package lemon jello 1 18 oz can of crushed pineapple, do not drain 1 8 oz package of cream cheese 1 cup finely chopped red apple, do not peel 1 cup finely chopped celery 1/2 cup chopped pecan 8 oz carton of Cool whip, thawed put jello and pineapple in pan and bring to boil for three minutes, set aside to cool. when at room temp, mix in apple, celery, pecans and cream cheese. add cool whip last and refrigerate until firm. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/15 "2013-07-22T18:50:52Z")
From “The New Joys of Jello”, 1973: Jellied Waldorf Salad 1 (3 oz.) package Jello 1 c. boiling water pinch salt 3/4 c. cold water 1 tbsp. lemon juice 3/4 c. chopped unpeeled apple 1/4 c. chopped celery 1/3 c. chopped walnuts Dissolve Jello in boiling water. Stir in cold water, juice and salt. Chill until thickened. Stir in the rest, pour into a 4-cup mold, and chill until set. Unmold by setting pan in an inch or so of hot water and turn onto a plate lined with salad greens. Serve with mayo thinned with cream or honey, if you like. There are lots of variations on Jello salads in old cookbooks, many involving crushed pineapple or Dream Whip (or both). This book gets pretty strange: Jellied Gazpacho, Barbecue Salad, Cool Coleslaw Salad, and more. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crap-salad/664074/16 "2013-07-23T07:07:22Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > …I think it was called a congealed salad. Supposedly it was a southern delicacy… So a ‘Congealed Crap Salad’ is considered a delicacy? I thought us Brits had the edge on awful food.