# Crappy Poetry in NYC Subways **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 19, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876 "2001-01-19T15:32:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/1 "2001-01-19T15:32:25Z")
About five or six years ago, the National Poetry Association (hey, THAT must be a group of real go-getters, huh? Anyone else picturing twenty guys in Percy Dovetonsils outfits sitting at a banquet table?) started putting up posters in the subway advertising-racks which featured poems, or selections from poems. That was nice. They had some pretty good stuff for a while, and it made for a change from looking at all those damn ads when you forgot to bring a book with you. Recently, the sponsorship of this thing has shifted to good ol’ Barnes & Noble, the guardians of our culture. And the quality of the poetry has really slacked off. They used to have Frost and Auden and Roethke and Cullen and Bakara and Basho and Williams and Wordsworth. Today there were two pieces, side by side, by guys named “Sonia Sanchez” and “L. Ron Momser” (I may be mis-remembering), both born in 1934, whose work was right out of the Rod McKuen School. I read them out loud to my kid. “Wow, just like a Hallmark card, huh?” Okay, if you’ve run out of decent poetry, maybe it’s time to bag the whole program, huh, guys? Make more room for the Anal Warts Doctor ads and The Gap. Or invest in a copy of the Oxford Anthology. And stop taking those huge bribes from the powerful poetry lobbying interests. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/2 "2001-01-19T15:58:36Z")
I personally miss those “M.D. Tush” ads. Why not post subway limericks? Have a contest? It could be the new millennium version of being a Miss Turnstiles! “As I was awaiting the B A homeless guy started to pee— When he was through He just hollered, ‘fuck you!’ So I popped him a cap with great glee!” ``` —Alfred Lost-Tennishoes ``` ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/3 "2001-01-19T16:23:21Z")
I walked into the 9 Bronx-bound, Alas, not a seat to be found, So I grabbed a strap, and tipped my cap, And threw a seat-dweller to the ground Thank you, thank you… ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/4 "2001-01-19T17:06:18Z")
\ Go, cat, go! ---
**Author:** ![Nurlman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Nurlman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nurlman)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/5 "2001-01-19T17:07:06Z")
There once was a mayor named Rudy Who wanted Times Square much more prude-y He chased out the ho’s And closed the peep shows Before dumping his wife for some cutie. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/6 "2001-01-19T17:39:02Z")
Sorry, Ike—should’ve realized I was opening the Limerick floodgates (though I particularly enjoyed yours, Nurl). Back to the OP! Modern poetry—ain’t it crappy? Ain’t it crappier when sponsored by soulless drones like B&N? Where oh where are the Shelley and Byron and Keats of today? Shelley and Byron and Keats Were a trio of lyrical treats . . . . . . Oops, sorry . . . ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/7 "2001-01-19T17:43:15Z")
I participated in a poetry slam last night. Quite amusing. There was one moment, however, when a thought hit me: _Good lord, Yeats would have killed us all, thinking it merciful…_ Some modern poetry is okay. I have problems with people who say a bunch of words, play a saxophone, and think that it’s art. ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/8 "2001-01-19T18:15:06Z")
If good poetry you’re hoping to find To improve your soul or your mind Perhaps you should look Inside of a book - 'Cause underground verse ain’t refined. _Burma Shave_ ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/9 "2001-01-19T18:30:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > _ **Good lord, Yeats would have killed us all, thinking it merciful…** _ Yeah! And why do people think that loudly declaiming their poetry and copping a hostile, too-cool attitude makes their poetry any better? Or do they just want to scare people out of booing? ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/10 "2001-01-19T18:43:50Z")
You know, I’m an admitted dork, but I sort of like the poetry. I can’t judge what’s good and bad with poetry anyway. My favorite subway ad is the one with the 1960’s style painted flower and the words “Spring is Chain Snatching Season! Keep your chains tucked in”. I had no idea there was a season for robbery! ---
**Author:** ![Nurlman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Nurlman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nurlman)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/11 "2001-01-19T18:44:30Z")
If New York you’re wanting to see, the Bronx down to the Battery Then go see the sights, but if you’re not white, watch out for the N.Y.P.D. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/12 "2001-01-19T18:50:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SaxFace \* > \*\* > > My favorite subway ad is the one with the 1960’s style painted flower and the words “Spring is Chain Snatching Season! Keep your chains tucked in”. I had no idea there was a season for robbery! \*\* Ad??? I thought that was one of the poems! It’s got a certain minimalist appeal, n’est pas? ---
**Author:** ![posatyvo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b5ac83/32.png) [@posatyvo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/posatyvo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/13 "2001-01-19T18:51:03Z")
Yeah, crappy peotry. I mostly hate those wanna-be intelectuals that think since they took psyc 101 and a philosophy course that they now have the power to write mind numbing stuff AND pick apart my psyche. Thier stuff is mind numbing though. ---
**Author:** ![Nurlman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Nurlman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nurlman)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/14 "2001-01-19T19:13:01Z")
I took a flight to JFK For a nice NYC getaway I spent my whole time Sitting in line In a jam on the Van Wyk Expressway ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/15 "2001-01-19T19:23:48Z")
[holding down Nurl while Ike holds the choloroform-soaked hankie over his face] ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/16 "2001-01-19T20:38:27Z")
So howcum THIS wasn’t ever used, huh? Huh? Huh, Barnes & Fucking Noble? _In a Station of the Metro_ The apparition of these faces in the crowd; Petals on a wet, black bough. – Ezra Pound ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/17 "2001-01-19T20:39:34Z")
This old man, he played one, He played knick knack at Verdun, De L’Eglise, Charlevoix, Atwater, and Vendôme, This old man went rolling home. This old man, he played two, At Place des Arts and Lionel-Groulx, Peel, Parc, Saint-Laurent, Papineau, and then He came rolling home again. This old man, he played three, At Outremont and Acadie, Cadillac, Assomption, Fabre, and Langelier, He’ll play knick all fucking day! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/18 "2001-01-19T21:27:47Z")
Ike, ``` If you're short of reading material, aren't the words of the prophets still written on the subway walls? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/19 "2001-01-19T21:41:42Z")
I read 'em already. In the hall. In my tenement. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876/20 "2001-01-19T23:09:13Z")
Well, at least it beats a single poem comprising four letters… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crappy-poetry-in-nyc-subways/50876.md?page=2)