# Crash in VA **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 2007, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438 "2007-10-12T05:13:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/1 "2007-10-12T05:13:30Z")
Yesterday on October 10th my ex-brother in law died in a big crash on I-95 in Virgina. He is leaving behind a wife, two sons, his first grandchild, and a nephew that thought of him as a father. My sons father is about worthless and so my brother in law kind of took my son under his wing and did dad type stuff with him while he was working with his own son. The boys are about the same age. It was a horrid crash and we still don’t know exactly what happened or why he drove out of control. He hit a wall then went across lanes then into another wall where the cab burst into flames and he could not get out. If you look up I-95 crash you can see pictures of what the cab ended up like. It’s mostly just a frame. I’m really kind of numb at the moment. When I was an active part of that family he and I were the only one’s who got each other. He was also the one who told me I was pregnant with my son before I even knew. And even when I had moved on from that family when he and his wife were having troubles and splitting up for a while, I was the middle man and dropped their boys off from one place to another for visitations while the parents weren’t getting along so hot for a while. I am stunned and my son is devistated. I have no idea how to help him but hold him and cry with him. They were building a go-cart together, the three of them. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/2 "2007-10-12T05:19:38Z")
_Internet Hugs_ I’m so sorry to hear this. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/3 "2007-10-12T06:32:19Z")
More internet hugs. I don’t know what to say except I wish there was a way to fix this. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/4 "2007-10-12T07:13:14Z")
I’m so sorry to hear this. May all of you be comforted by sweet memories of your beloved, now and going forward. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/5 "2007-10-12T11:47:47Z")
I am sorry to hear your news. Sending supporting thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/6 "2007-10-12T12:24:52Z")
I’m so sorry to hear it, Kricket. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/7 "2007-10-12T12:29:34Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/8 "2007-10-12T12:32:32Z")
Hugs to **Kricket** and the whole family. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/9 "2007-10-12T13:28:49Z")
[Link to news story](http://www.wusa9.com/news/columnist/blogs/2007/10/truck-crashes-and-burns-on-i-95-driver.html) ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/10 "2007-10-12T14:26:03Z")
Kricket, I’m so very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/11 "2007-10-12T23:46:17Z")
Annie thank you for the link. I was pretty shocked when the article said he was conscious. We really still don’t have too many details. They did make a positive ID by x-raying the body since he was unrecognisable. They thought they were going to have to use DNA but x-rays showed a broken collar bone and a broken arm that were old injuries. I’m doing my best to help my sister-in-law get things arranged but we can’t do much until they release the body. It’s just really unreal. Thank you all for your hugs and kind words. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/12 "2007-10-12T23:50:57Z")
Heaven help you all. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/13 "2007-10-12T23:55:47Z")
Damn, Kricket. I’m sorry to hear it. Best wishes to you from me and Angie… ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/14 "2007-10-12T23:57:27Z")
[QUOTE=Kricket] I was pretty shocked when the article said he was conscious. We really still don’t have too many details. [/QUOTE] **Kricket** , that’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. How much worse is it for you, who knew and loved him? Be strong, and feel free to come back anytime you want to have someone listen, while you let things out. We’ll be here for you, as best we can. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/15 "2007-10-13T04:51:19Z")
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he may have suffered a heart attack or stroke or something. I know exactly how horrified and utterly sad you are right now. I lost 3 family members in gruesome accidents this Summer. I still have nightmares. I’m sending warm, soothing hugs your way, sweetie. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2007, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/16 "2007-10-13T04:55:21Z")
I’m very sad to hear this. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/17 "2007-10-13T16:56:14Z")
Shayna kind of nailed it. See we weren’t there when it happened so our minds and imaginations are filling in the blanks and it can be horrid at times. I’m trying to keep my nephew and son as busy as possible. They are pretty close and my nephew is usually here most weekends or my son would be there. It’s always been nice that even though there is pretty much no contact between my sons father and myself that his sisters and their families and I have always stayed close. He was my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2007, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/18 "2007-10-13T17:40:42Z")
Wow, that is awful. I was caught up in that traffic jam, and got home to my wife and kids about an hour later than I usually do. You become numb to traffic after a while, so at the time I was far more concerned about my family than anyone who happened to be in the truck. I guess that’s human nature, but I can’t help feeling ashamed right now for worrying about being late for dinner that night. Please accept my condolences now, and I will remember all of you in my prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2007, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crash-in-va/422438/19 "2007-10-14T03:00:51Z")
Mr. Moto I’m sure many of us have done the same thing. I know I have before. You just sometimes forget that there are human beings in that wreckage somewhere and that they are family or friend to someone. I’ve never been good with words but really I understand what you are saying. Weird Al has a song that has always put me in mind of situations like that. I’ve always taken it as a tongue in check type song. [Lyrics here](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/weirdalyankovic/whydoesthisalwayshappentome.html) . I think people are desensitised to some things in the world because we are all so busy sometimes thinking of others really takes second place at times. I’m not sure if I’m coming off well trying to explain this. Over the past view years even when I have gotten that pang of “holy crap what’s the hold up get it cleaned up and let us all move on” I say a little prayer for whomever was involved and that all are safe. I do this with passing ambulances as well. My sister-in-law posted a reply to the article Annie linked to. It’s a hard read because of the spelling and gramar issues. I’m the last to say something about spelling since I am one of the most creative spellers on the board, but it actually hurt my eyes a bit to read it. I think I might post something myself about Scott. I’m just curious though that if the police haven’t released information or names are family members allowed to? And the article says there were witnesses, will his wife get a copy of the police report and will it have their names so maybe she can contact them and thank them for their efforts to help? My husband thought that last question was a strange question but I told him that if I were in her situation I would like to talk to the witnesses and thank them and ask for anything they might be able to tell her. Did he talk to them, any final words, how alert was he? One of those things I was talking about. The not knowing kind of makes you fill in the blanks and sometimes it’s not pretty. Some of you remember when my son was hit by a car 8 years ago (yes it’s been that long) and I wasn’t there to witness it and still there are times when I wake up crying because my dreaming mind has filled in those blanks. But my friend who was on the scene says the scene was bad and I should be thankful I didn’t see it because what he saw messes with him at times. I’m not really sure what is worse, knowing and seeing or not knowing and imagining. My son has been staying with his aunt and cousin this weekend because he loves them for one thing and Josh is basically a class clown kind of kid. One of those spontaineous kids that you just can’t help but cheer up around. I figured it would be good for his aunt and cousin to have him around and close. I’m sure I’ve mentioned a few of these things before, but I just kind of ramble and get jumbled when I talk about this. The boys haven’t really cried cried over it yet but I know Friday is going to be intense. It’s going to hit them hard and fast and I’m just hoping that I will be able to be strong enough to help the mourn.