# Crazy assed shit on dating websites **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559 "2013-04-24T02:59:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/1 "2013-04-24T02:59:16Z")
For sad reasons I have been cruising the various large and small websites devoted to pathetic individuals trying to find some small bit of joy before the long eternal dirt nap. Anyhow, while I consider myself almost totally socially clueless dating/attracting a mate/getting laid wise yet even I can’t believe how BAD some peoples “ads” are. Dude, figure out how to get that pic in there so its not fucking sideways. Though I suppose that is actually better than upside down. BTW, nice pics of your naked top half (for some random nerd in high school). Next dude. Nice pic. At least its upright. Though it would be nice to actually see the part of your head that is above the lip area. Are you in some sorta witness protection program or something? Lady, that pic is so bad qualitiy wise that it looks like it was taken with a Poleroid camera with expired film from the dollar store. Other lady…word to the wise…PMS in your user name is probably not a good idea. Next lady…you apparently make next to nothing per year…yet your requirements for a guy are well into the six figure range…and to take it over the top you are actually dressed as a “gold digger” in one of your photos…thanks for the honesty I suppose. Next SWF…its great that you are single, white and female…right up this ole horny WASPs alley…but the fact you are bi-polar and not into drama or complicated relationships really isnt much of a selling point. Other lady…Yes, its nice that you have a pic of you with some random jackass (though in this case it was actually apparently Stevo at the airport). And kudos to random decent looking middle aged asian guy that “has a job, doesn’t live with mom, and has all his teeth”. Seriously, thats quite a selling point here in the deep south. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/2 "2013-04-24T03:13:25Z")
Y’Know, years and years ago, in the olden days, before the internet, there was already an industry catering to dating services. It was conducted in print media back in those times: In the classified section of newspapers, and in separate stand-alone publications like _Lifestyle._ That was a TV-Guide-sized monthly magazine in the Bay Area, a classified flea-market sort of booklet specifically for dating ads. Classified dating ads in those days didn’t have photos. (That came a little later.) But even then, there sure were a lot a crazy-ass loser ads. _Lifestyle_ included a few token singles lifestyle articles each month. One common theme was the pathetic attempt to build a case that dating ads weren’t just for losers. Everyone knew they were, and everyone knew that everyone knew. Then as now, socially awkward people – males mostly – were treated with scorn and contempt and derision. That hasn’t changed a bit from that day to this, except that the Internet has made it vastly worse. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/3 "2013-04-24T03:17:08Z")
Then, in the early 1970’s (still before any significant on-line activity), came photo dating. For many socially awkward people whose only (scant) hope of getting dates lay in classified ads, that was the death knell of all dating. For anyone who wasn’t a gorgeous beautiful hunk or queen, it was all over. Nobody would date anyone who didn’t provide a pic, and plain-looking people could never get a date again even with a pic. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/4 "2013-04-24T03:23:42Z")
Then as now, advertisers posted lengthy lists of fabulous adjectives describing themselves and their desired soul mates. These glowing compendia of wonderfullness fell into four categories: [ol][li] Males’ descriptions of themselves;[/li][li] Males’ descriptions of their dream partners;[/li][li] Females’ descriptions of themselves;[/li][li] Females’ descriptions of their dream partners.[/ol][/li]You didn’t have to read many ads for very long to notice the ONE adjective that appeared more often than any other, and in which of the above categories that adjective was used: The adjective was _tall_ (sometimes with a specific required tallness listed), and it appeared in the females’ descriptions of their dream partners. I always wanted to get the copy of some issues of those publications, in computer readable form, so I could do an analysis of all the words. I wanted to build histograms showing all the most common fabulous adjectives, or at least the most commonly-used ones, broken down by which category they were in. But even without detailed analysis, it was clear what most females’ most important requirement was. ETA: With the advent and growth of on-line Internet dating, everything I’ve written here has only gotten badder and badder and worse and worse. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/5 "2013-04-24T04:42:04Z")
What? No love for phone chat party lines? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/6 "2013-04-24T05:20:25Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Then as now, advertisers posted lengthy lists of fabulous adjectives describing themselves and their desired soul mates. These glowing compendia of wonderfullness fell into four categories: > [ol][li] Males’ descriptions of themselves;[/li][li] Males’ descriptions of their dream partners;[/li][li] Females’ descriptions of themselves;[/li][li] Females’ descriptions of their dream partners.[/ol][/li]You didn’t have to read many ads for very long to notice the ONE adjective that appeared more often than any other, and in which of the above categories that adjective was used: The adjective was _tall_ (sometimes with a specific required tallness listed), and it appeared in the females’ descriptions of their dream partners. > > I always wanted to get the copy of some issues of those publications, in computer readable form, so I could do an analysis of all the words. I wanted to build histograms showing all the most common fabulous adjectives, or at least the most commonly-used ones, broken down by which category they were in. But even without detailed analysis, it was clear what most females’ most important requirement was. > > ETA: With the advent and growth of on-line Internet dating, everything I’ve written here has only gotten badder and badder and worse and worse. I guess all those freaks who succeed at it are doing it wrong ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/7 "2013-04-24T06:38:51Z")
> [@colander](#): > > I guess all those freaks who succeed at it are doing it wrong ALL dating strategies are wrong. The freaks who succeed at it do so despite that. It’s like the old theory that bumblebees can’t fly. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/8 "2013-04-24T15:28:40Z")
I’m one of those freaks who’s looking. What I can’t understand is why people misuse punctuation. I asked one idiot why he ended every sentence in multiple periods. He said it was _stronger_ than a period. :smack: I don’t even want to ask about the multiple commas. That’s the first sign that it won’t work. The few times I’ve kept talking to them, they kept up the stupidity. One of them was supposedly a screenwriter. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/9 "2013-04-24T15:34:22Z")
Here in the modern age, it is worse. Comcast has On-Demand, their repository of movies, TV shows, and some other offerings as well. They have an Auto channel where you can browse and buy the latest cars from the comfort of your couch, and then there’s the Dating channel. We discovered it one day looking for some show. My wife and I sat laughing for over an hour watching this. Apparently the producers went to a local mall, set up a sheet for a background near a restaurant, and just grabbed random people passing by and set them in the chair for some Q & A. “What are you looking for in a woman?” “Well, she got to have a job. And titties. I love big ol’ titties.” It got better. Or worse, depending on your POV. If you have Comcast cable, I urge you to check out the local section and watch the simplest creatures we produce try to reproduce… ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/10 "2013-04-24T16:35:37Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > What I can’t understand is why people misuse punctuation. I asked one idiot why he ended every sentence in multiple periods. He said it was _stronger_ than a period. :smack: I don’t even want to ask about the multiple commas. > > That’s the first sign that it won’t work. The few times I’ve kept talking to them, they kept up the stupidity. One of them was supposedly a screenwriter. :dubious: Those were DRAMATIC… PAUSES, you numpty. ---
**Author:** ![TXRebel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6de8d8/32.png) [@TXRebel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TXRebel)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/11 "2013-04-24T16:52:26Z")
Numpty??? :D:D ha,ha,ha,ha! I do remember trying to date as an adult. It was abysmal. I finally gave up and just started doing things I wanted to. I took some classes (no, not guy oriented ones) took up bowling and went to a lot of movies. I had fun but I was lonely. I was lucky enough to finally meet somebody. I watch my son now trying to date at 33 with a child. It breaks my heart. He’s career Navy, has a great personality, and he’s handsome in a nice freckled way. He doesn’t do bars, he won’t do the internet (tried, met a looney and won’t try again) I ask him “Son, where do you think this mystery woman is going to appear? You go to work and you come home. Unless she’s hiding in your closet it’s a no go.” He calls me sometimes and tells me how lonely he is. Argggghhh! I hate those calls. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/12 "2013-04-24T16:56:53Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Those were DRAMATIC… PAUSES, you numpty. Yeah, I should’ve gone with my first instinct. But he was really cute. There were two other warning signs I missed: he mentioned he had a big dick and one of his pictures was of his crotch. And then our conversation crashed and burned (because he apparently hadn’t actually read my profile) and I looked back and just had to shake my head. It was special, in that short bus sort of way. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/13 "2013-04-24T16:59:36Z")
When I was on eHarmony (where I eventually met my husband, yay) I was once matched with a guy whose profile picture was him with three other guys. He wasn’t even the one in the center. Hel-lo? And whom are we dating? The weirder part was that I knew which one he was, because I worked with the other two. ---
**Author:** ![TXRebel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6de8d8/32.png) [@TXRebel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TXRebel)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/14 "2013-04-24T17:44:32Z")
Just out of curiosity has anyone tried the Events and Adventures thingie? They sound good but you never know. I wanted to steer my niece that way if they are any good. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/15 "2013-04-24T18:47:10Z")
My online dating experience has been so questionable that I created[a whole blog](http://onlinedatingisliterallytheworst.tumblr.com/) about it. It’s somewhat astonishing to me how many new followers I get every time I post-- though it makes me feel better on some level, knowing I’m not the only one suffering this way. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/16 "2013-04-24T19:45:39Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > When I was on eHarmony (where I eventually met my husband, yay) I was once matched with a guy whose profile picture was him with three other guys. He wasn’t even the one in the center. Hel-lo? And whom are we dating? > > The weirder part was that I knew which one he was, because I worked with the other two. I loved the ones where the ex- is so obviously cut out of the picture. Or, even worse, not cut out at all. Do you really not have a solo shot of yourself? I’ve had good luck with the little bit of internet dating I’ve done, and it is a common and normal way to meet people these days. I’m in the wedding industry, and about 20% of my clients met that way and the ones that have can hardly be called losers or even introverted, for the most part. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/17 "2013-04-24T20:31:17Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > My online dating experience has been so questionable that I created[a whole blog](http://onlinedatingisliterallytheworst.tumblr.com/) about it. It’s somewhat astonishing to me how many new followers I get every time I post-- though it makes me feel better on some level, knowing I’m not the only one suffering this way. I just gave up, took down my profiles, and am now shopping for my collection of cats. ---
**Author:** ![Running\_with\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Running\_with\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Running_with_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/18 "2013-04-24T20:39:11Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > I always wanted to get the copy of some issues of those publications, in computer readable form, so I could do an analysis of all the words. I wanted to build histograms showing all the most common fabulous adjectives, or at least the most commonly-used ones, broken down by which category they were in. But even without detailed analysis, it was clear what most females’ most important requirement was. [OKCupid actually did something similar](http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-real-stuff-white-people-like/) with a random (presumably) selection of their users. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/19 "2013-04-24T22:39:10Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > My online dating experience has been so questionable that I created[a whole blog](http://onlinedatingisliterallytheworst.tumblr.com/) about it. It’s somewhat astonishing to me how many new followers I get every time I post-- though it makes me feel better on some level, knowing I’m not the only one suffering this way. Oh my fucking God. What’s wrong with people? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/20 "2013-04-24T22:44:37Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I loved the ones where the ex- is so obviously cut out of the picture. Or, even worse, not cut out at all. Do you really not have a solo shot of yourself? That seems to be the thing for guys 25 and under in particular - a picture of himself, with a girl’s head in the corner. Don’t count on it being an ex, BTW. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559.md?page=2)