# Crazy assed shit on dating websites **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559 "2013-04-24T02:59:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/21 "2013-04-24T22:51:36Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > What I can’t understand is why people misuse punctuation. I asked one idiot why he ended every sentence in multiple periods. He said it was _stronger_ than a period. :smack: I don’t even want to ask about the multiple commas. > > That’s the first sign that it won’t work. The few times I’ve kept talking to them, they kept up the stupidity. One of them was supposedly a screenwriter. :dubious: Well, the image on your screen is, in fact, composed of lots and lots of dots. So, according to his line of work, that’s the writing habit he’s into. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/22 "2013-04-24T23:01:51Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Well, the image on your screen is, in fact, composed of lots and lots of dots. So, according to his line of work, that’s the writing habit he’s into. It was worse than that actually. He’d written a screenplay, it’d been made into an indie film, and it won an award. I just want to know who his copy editor was, because he threw a FIT when I mentioned I prefer guys with good grammar. The whole ‘I’ve done this and this and this, what have you done with your life?!’ … learned English? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/23 "2013-04-24T23:10:07Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > It was worse than that actually. He’d written a screenplay, it’d been made into an indie film, and it won an award. I just want to know who his copy editor was, because he threw a FIT when I mentioned I prefer guys with good grammar. The whole ‘I’ve done this and this and this, what have you done with your life?!’ … learned English? No, YOU need to learn to write and speak like a **Sorority Drama Queen**! That’s certain to knock them off their feet every time! You’ll have so many court jesters crowded around, you won’t be able to beat them all off! uh, let me think of a way to re-phrase that . . . ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/24 "2013-04-25T00:07:44Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > My online dating experience has been so questionable that I created[a whole blog](http://onlinedatingisliterallytheworst.tumblr.com/) about it. It’s somewhat astonishing to me how many new followers I get every time I post-- though it makes me feel better on some level, knowing I’m not the only one suffering this way. nice subtle plug for your blog **Diosa** :rolleyes: i kid! i might have had a good submission myself but i don’t think i saved any of the dude’s messages. some guy i talked with briefly 3 years ago (who was wanting to meet me like within a half hour of first talking to him) still messages me every few weeks all “hi, remember me?” creepy. it’s true, online dating is literally the worst. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/25 "2013-04-25T01:02:05Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > nice subtle plug for your blog **Diosa** :rolleyes: Hey, my options were to either verbally describe the interactions I’ve had (which are numerous) or just drop a link. One was a lot less work than the other, so here we are ;). ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/26 "2013-04-25T01:11:03Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > What? No love for phone chat party lines? I thought those things had completely disappeared but I’ve recently seen some TV ads for them. Maybe they’re cool and retro now. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/27 "2013-04-25T03:36:02Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > i kid! i might have had a good submission myself but i don’t think i saved any of the dude’s messages. some guy i talked with briefly 3 years ago (who was wanting to meet me like within a half hour of first talking to him) still messages me every few weeks all “hi, remember me?” creepy. it’s true, online dating is literally the worst. Guys need to assert themselves in certain ways; to push for what they want and make their presence known. The ones that do it too much are annoying; while they should tone it down, they shouldn’t turn it off entirely. It’s possible to err on the other side and be essentially invisible. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/28 "2013-04-25T16:07:07Z")
I don’t get people who are super grammar nazis when it comes to profiles. Fact is, most people on dating sites plan on meeting each other in real life at some point, and misspellings or punctuation errors aren’t really going to play into real life interactions. Fact is, you never really get to know someone until you meet them in real life. But I guess some people isolate themselves (through work, interests, priorities, etc) to the point that reading ‘signals’ is like solving an interpersonal rubick’s cube, and they need a walkthrough/cheat sheet to make sense of it. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/29 "2013-04-26T00:05:29Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > to the point that reading ‘signals’ is like solving an interpersonal rubick’s cube, and they need a walkthrough/cheat sheet to make sense of it. where can I get one of those cheat sheets? ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/30 "2013-04-26T01:18:38Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Guys need to assert themselves in certain ways; to push for what they want and make their presence known. The ones that do it too much are annoying; while they should tone it down, they shouldn’t turn it off entirely. It’s possible to err on the other side and be essentially invisible. yeah, i’m cool with going for what you want and all but this dude is way at the crazy end of the spectrum. he messaged me back in 2009 and we ended up chatting on AIM where he started asking if he could come pick me up (this is within the first few minutes of talking to this guy for the first time), i told him i wasn’t comfortable with meeting that soon and he wouldn’t let it drop. for days and weeks after, every time i log on i get the pop up chat messages from this guy, which i ignore. fast forward 3 years, i log on to the site for the first time in awhile and i almost immediately get a message from him “hey, we talked a few years ago, remember me?”. i didn’t respond, and i still get messages from him once a month or so. desperation: not a turn on. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/31 "2013-04-26T03:22:46Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > yeah, i’m cool with going for what you want and all but this dude is way at the crazy end of the spectrum. he messaged me back in 2009 and we ended up chatting on AIM where he started asking if he could come pick me up (this is within the first few minutes of talking to this guy for the first time), i told him i wasn’t comfortable with meeting that soon and he wouldn’t let it drop. for days and weeks after, every time i log on i get the pop up chat messages from this guy, which i ignore. fast forward 3 years, i log on to the site for the first time in awhile and i almost immediately get a message from him “hey, we talked a few years ago, remember me?”. i didn’t respond, and i still get messages from him once a month or so. desperation: not a turn on. I’m sure it’s annoying, to say the least. But I rather suspect that I am on the far opposite end of the spectrum; not active or aggressive enough. There are times when I wish I had some of his cockiness (for lack of a better term). ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/32 "2013-04-26T05:45:01Z")
I had good luck with okC. But more than half the fun was judging other people’s profiles and pics. People sure are strange. I wasn’t on for long, and didn’t go on more than 2 dates with anyone I met, but I didn’t receive a single off-color or retarded message and everyone I messaged with, or met up with, seemed normal. I don’t get it. ETA: Incubus, every single person in real life I give two shits about uses correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling with ease. This includes my entire extended family, every friend I’ve texted with, and both the men I have had relationships with. So, totally reasonable off-the-bat dealbreaker, for me. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/33 "2013-04-26T09:38:00Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Hey, my options were to either verbally describe the interactions I’ve had (which are numerous) or just drop a link. One was a lot less work than the other, so here we are ;). Well, I’m glad you did. That “hung like Stalin” line has made my morning! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/34 "2013-04-26T19:49:21Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > I don’t get people who are super grammar nazis when it comes to profiles. Fact is, most people on dating sites plan on meeting each other in real life at some point, and misspellings or punctuation errors aren’t really going to play into real life interactions. Profiles on dating sites to a potential partner are like resumes to a potential employer. If it’s just stream of consciousness rambling with no attempt at spelling or grammar, it’s no go. You have plenty of time to refine it, organize it, and make it presentable. If you’re not going to put forth the effort to get it right, you’re not who I’m looking for. I’m not looking for Pulitzer writing, just something that would pass through the M$ spelling and grammar checker without enough flags to line a parade route. It all comes down to taking pride in your appearance. Be it virtual or in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/35 "2013-04-26T21:26:15Z")
> [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > Well, I’m glad you did. That “hung like Stalin” line has made my morning! There’s a building in Warsaw nicknamed [Stalin’s Penis](http://www.geolocation.ws/v/P/35101503/warsaw-palace-of-culture-and-science-or/en). (I’m not aware that he was a chronophile, but that may explain the wristwatch skinning back the foreskin). ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/36 "2013-04-26T21:26:54Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Profiles on dating sites to a potential partner are like resumes to a potential employer. Thinking about it like a resume isn’t the right way to think about it if you’re wanting to be successful. I’d call it more like a print ad for yourself- the point isn’t to list accomplishments and qualifications, but rather to entice and highlight the positive about yourself. People are going to look and judge your profile on the basis of a few minutes (if you’re lucky) of review, and then likely wink at you / flirt / whatever the mechanism is on your site. Most people (smart ones anyway) aren’t doing their online dating like an employer does a job search anyway. It’s more along the lines of an online catalog with a bit more oddness involved in that if you pick something from the catalog, they don’t necessarily show up at your door in 3 days by UPS. I had excellent luck writing my profile (10 years ago or so) by describing what I wanted to do on dates, after I’d examined a large number of women’s profiles to see what they wanted to do and seeing where our interests intersected. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/37 "2013-04-28T06:21:36Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > I’m one of those freaks who’s looking. > > What I can’t understand is why people misuse punctuation. I asked one idiot why he ended every sentence in multiple periods. He said it was _stronger_ than a period. :smack: I don’t even want to ask about the multiple commas. > > That’s the first sign that it won’t work. The few times I’ve kept talking to them, they kept up the stupidity. One of them was supposedly a screenwriter. :dubious: During my internet dating days, punctuational incompetence was grounds for immediate nexting. Also lack of subject-verb agreement. > [@Senegoid](#): > > ALL dating strategies are wrong. The freaks who succeed at it do so despite that. It’s like the old theory that bumblebees can’t fly. This. There is no proven strategy for meeting The Love of Your Life. No strategy always/never works. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559/38 "2013-04-28T06:44:09Z")
I’m not sure if it’s a difference between straight and gay online dating, but I have had had pretty much only forgettable or fantastic experiences when I online-dated. Nothing really super creepy or terrible. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-assed-shit-on-dating-websites/656559.md?page=1)