# Crazy Customer Stories - Working Retail Christmas 2009 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066 "2009-12-21T14:45:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/61 "2009-12-22T23:45:59Z")
> [@valleyofthedolls](#): > > Customers reported a toilet overflowing in the men’s bathroom. Maintenance went to go check things out. > > What was causing the overflow? The 12 inch double dildo someone had thoughtfully decided to stuff down the toilet. You win. One of the amusing things about working on holidays were the idiots who would come in and say things like, “You shouldn’t have to be here today! It’s not right that they make you work on such and such holiday!” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/62 "2009-12-22T23:52:58Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Actually, you (and other people) should read [Acts of Gord](http://www.actsofgord.com/), about a guy who used to own and operate a video game rental and store. If you weren’t a believer in eugenics before reading the stories, you will be afterwards. Some people simply should not be allowed to reproduce. Gord! I haven’t been there in years. God I love that site. **[The Book of Annoyances](http://www.actsofgord.com/Annoy/chapter02.php)**: “What’s this about your collection company saying I never returned Resident Evil 2!” _Well, you didn’t return Resident Evil 2. Too complicated a concept?_ “We returned it the day after we got it right though the return slot on the door!” _Really?_ “Yes!” _Who did exactly?_ “He did!” (point to friend). You did? “Yes.” _Care to explain how you did that 2 months ago when that drop slot was only put in on Thursday? Here’s the invoice I got a few minutes ago for it. See the date?_ \ “FUCK YOU!” and they storm out. Note: The reason why they were in was because buddy wasn’t able to get a car loan because this appeared on his credit file… And the Gord was satisfied. (And the Gord was satisfied, damn that is too awesome!) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/63 "2009-12-23T00:29:01Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > “You shouldn’t have to be here today! It’s not right that they make you work on such and such holiday!” I usually tell the cashier, “I’m sorry you have to work today, but I’m glad y’all are open.” ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/64 "2009-12-23T00:34:32Z")
> [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > IMO asking if you can use a coupon is fine, but I think asking when or if a sale is going to be on is not exactly crazy but not exactly good manners either. You’re not \*entitled \*to a sale. If your purpose in an interaction is to get at someone’s money, you’re not exactly _entitled_ to good manners, either. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/65 "2009-12-23T05:23:13Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > I’ve got a few of my own, but no time to tell them right now. > > So I’ll leave you with one of my favorites. > > [Vinegar Boy](http://www.customerssuck.com/index.php?categoryid=10&p2000_articleid=1) > > It’ll take a little while to read. So be warned. You’ll have to finish it once you start. Is it OK to drink vinegar? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/66 "2009-12-23T05:25:50Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Actually, you (and other people) should read [Acts of Gord](http://www.actsofgord.com/), about a guy who used to own and operate a video game rental and store. If you weren’t a believer in eugenics before reading the stories, you will be afterwards. Some people simply should not be allowed to reproduce. That website is a fantastic time suck, and I always end up laughing hysterically with tears running down my face whenever I read it, even though I’ve read it a frillion times already. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/67 "2009-12-23T07:28:32Z")
> [@valleyofthedolls](#): > > Customers reported a toilet overflowing in the men’s bathroom. Maintenance went to go check things out. > > What was causing the overflow? The 12 inch double dildo someone had thoughtfully decided to stuff down the toilet. You can only flush the 12 inch single ones. ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/68 "2009-12-23T07:53:48Z")
My friend works at the local building store and people use the display toilets and poop in the shower displays. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/69 "2009-12-23T12:28:04Z")
> [@SP2263](#): > > My friend works at the local building store and people use the display toilets and poop in the shower displays. They do the same in fitting rooms. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/70 "2009-12-23T13:22:49Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > They do the same in fitting rooms. My best friend worked in a mall chain clothing store in college, and she said they found shit, dirty diapers, and used tampons in dressing rooms at least every other week. Just to add insult to injury, the door of their store was approximately 30 feet from one of the public restrooms. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/71 "2009-12-23T14:00:54Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > (but seriously, who names their kid Lazzo?) The Vukoviches. It was probably a nickname for _Laszlo_ or something similar. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/72 "2009-12-23T15:12:20Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:60, topic:522066”] Had a nice moment last summer. A couple of women from New York City were in my store, and had made a few comments about how “quaint” the “little bookstore” was. One of them said “I assume you don’t have a copy of _The Iliad_?” Not “Do you have…” but “I assume you don’t have…”. It warmed my heart to say, “Which translation were you looking for? I have several.” Yes, my Montana bookstore has _The Iliad_. We have indoor plumbing, too. [/QUOTE] Nice! Did they actually buy a copy, or were they just looking for an anecdote to tell their friends when they returned to “civilization”? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/73 "2009-12-23T15:48:16Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Is it OK to drink vinegar? Yes you can drink vinegar, but in smaller amounts than half a bottle - it throws off the acid levels in your stomach and makes you nauseous. The thing is, I would surmise the kid knows that malt liquor = beerish substance, so malt vinegar = contains alcohol, bought it because it was cheap and legal, dimwittedly figuring it was boozish and chugged half the bottle, like an alkie will chug half a bottle of mouthwash [which is also legal and does actually contain a fair amount of alcohol] but the kid luged his stomach contents around because of the acid overload [and taste:eek:] which clued his rather dimwitted maternal unit in to a problem. Unfortunately [unlike my mother would have] instead of laughing and pointing at him, and telling him he made the mess, clean it up and don’t be an idiot in the future, she went off on Raps, who got dumped on by his bosses when she screamed her way up the food chain. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/74 "2009-12-23T15:50:44Z")
I was getting my hair cut at one of those Fantastic Sams type places and the only people in the shop were me, the gal cutting my hair, an older woman, and the gal cutting her hair. So just the 4 of us in there. It was couple of days before Thanksgiving. I was chatting with my gal off and on as was the other lady with hers. The older woman asks the girl cutting her hair “So, are you going anywhere for Thanksgiving?” The gal replied “No, I’m nut so lucky. I have to work the day after Thanksgiving.” So the older woman says back “Well, you know, some people work really hard during the year so they don’t have to work over holidays.” WTF!? We all heard her say it and the place went quiet for a few seconds. And then thinking back to all the years I worked in retail and had to bite my tongue when a customer said something stupid I finally felt inspired to shoot back without any fear of losing my job. I guffawed out loud and said “Wow, now that was a really RUDE thing to say! Not to mention completely untrue.” A few more seconds of silence so I just started chatting it up with my gal again. The other two didn’t say a word to eachother. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/75 "2009-12-23T15:56:49Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Gord! I haven’t been there in years. God I love that site. For others who haven’t visited in a while: be sure to read all the way to the end of the Book of Justice, then click on the “The End…” link that appears at the left. This will take you to the final book, the Book of Apocalypse. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/76 "2009-12-23T16:00:01Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I’m going to waste all day reading this. I did, a while ago. Totally worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/77 "2009-12-23T16:12:28Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > I’ve got a few of my own, but no time to tell them right now. > > So I’ll leave you with one of my favorites. > > [Vinegar Boy](http://www.customerssuck.com/index.php?categoryid=10&p2000_articleid=1) > > It’ll take a little while to read. So be warned. You’ll have to finish it once you start. :eek::eek::eek: The mind boggles… ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/78 "2009-12-23T17:58:02Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Nice! Did they actually buy a copy, or were they just looking for an anecdote to tell their friends when they returned to “civilization”? They actually bought one! A $5.00 paperback, but a sale’s a sale! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/79 "2009-12-24T00:49:50Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Actually, you (and other people) should read [Acts of Gord](http://www.actsofgord.com/), about a guy who used to own and operate a video game rental and store. If you weren’t a believer in eugenics before reading the stories, you will be afterwards. Some people simply should not be allowed to reproduce. Is this guy for real? I mean, I find his stories hilarious, but I can’t believe that it’s legal in Canada to chase shoplifters out into the street and beat the crap out of them, or show up at a kid’s school, or “accidentally” toss some kid into a wall as you’re escorting him out the store. I mean, it seems like it was his store, his rules, and he was confident enough in his business acumen not to put up with crap, but yikes! ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066/80 "2009-12-24T01:25:10Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:78, topic:522066”] They actually bought one! A $5.00 paperback, but a sale’s a sale! [/QUOTE] Of course they did. They didn’t have one for sale in their hometown.🆒 Who goes on vacation and decides they need to read the Iliad? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-customer-stories-working-retail-christmas-2009/522066.md?page=5)