# Crazy Neighbor Lady update **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035 "2011-12-22T02:42:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/1 "2011-12-22T02:42:25Z")
Please excuse the typing mistakes but I’m still passed out on the floor. You know how every neighborhood has a neighbor that everyone talks about? I live next to her. CNL hates everyone, is bitter, complains about everything and calls the police when the kids accross the street get stuck in my culvert. I’ve always tried to be nice to her, but when she stands on her porch and screeches its hard. Before coming here, I would just walk away and ignore her. A couple of years ago, CNL was AOL. Her truck was parked in the right place, the lights came on and off but I never saw CNL. After a couple of days, I went over and knocked on her door and tried to look in her windows. Finally I called the police. The nice sheriff went into the back yard and found an unsecured door. or window or something…I didn’t watch. Officer Friendly didn’t find a body and was concerned as well, so a search was conducted. As it turned out, CNL had been caring for her daughter in Scottsdale. There were many complaints about people who stick their noses into other people’s business by CNL. We were happy that CNL was alive to screech at us. Enough background, a while back, I was complaining about how CNL was always yelling at kids doing kid things. Elbows suggested that everytime we see CNL, we should smile, wave and say that we were very happy to see her. We started doing that and the screeching got quieter. Today, I found a hand delivered Christmas card in my mailbox. It was from CNL. It included a PS saying “I’ll be gone over the holidays”. You guys rock!!! ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/2 "2011-12-22T03:03:01Z")
**flatlined** , you made my day! I love hearing about your neighborhood, CNL, kids in the culvert and Officer Friendly. It reminds me of living in an even smaller town than the one that I do. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/3 "2011-12-22T03:14:47Z")
It’s a christmas miracle! ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/4 "2011-12-22T03:22:48Z")
Yay, a crazy neighbor conversion (CNC)! I wish I had a crazy neighbor to practice your methods on, but my neighbors are all disturbingly normal. (In other words, I’m the CNL here, but not in a mean way.) ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/5 "2011-12-22T13:49:27Z")
I love **elbows!** She is really nice! She has a whole alphabet made up of pieces of coral that were found on the beach, already in the shape of the letter. That is so cool. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/6 "2011-12-22T14:41:00Z")
I tried to be sweet to the CNL at my last apt., and all she did was draw me into her dramas: “Cletus has been beatin’ on me and takin’ my drugs, so if you see him, call the cops.” Next day, she and Cletus would be arm in arm again, till one of them got arrested for smoking crack with the kids in the car. \*So \*glad I have since moved to (literally!) the other side of the tracks. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/7 "2011-12-22T15:09:21Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I got as far as “Today, I found a hand . . .” and was afraid to read on. Yeah, that’s one of the places where a using a hyphen for the modifier would have genuinely helped. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/8 "2011-12-22T15:22:57Z")
Yeah! dopers help CNL find the true meaning of Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/9 "2011-12-22T22:10:31Z")
And her heart grew two sizes that day. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/10 "2011-12-22T22:18:12Z")
But who will yell at the kids in the culvert while she’s away? For the sake of the neighborhood I say **flatlined** should take up the cause then tell us all about it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/11 "2011-12-23T07:12:34Z")
We’ve got one of those! Except her name is Joann. She calls the police if people have the gall to park in the street. She ran off the neighbors on her other side. They moved (fled) and the house still hasn’t sold. We’ve known for months that she’s dying of lung cancer. Her husband, who is one of the sweetest people on earth, took total care of her. What we **didn’t** know was that he had lung cancer, too, because everything was all about Joann. He died two days before Thanksgiving. We had been waiting for her to die so we could enjoy his company again. He and my husband used to play horseshoes in the side yard, until she put a stop to it. I was floored and really sad. He should have at least got a few good years without the witch, to enjoy his life. Instead, the neighborhood still has The Voice. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/12 "2011-12-23T20:23:31Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > We’ve got one of those! Except her name is Joann. > She calls the police if people have the gall to park in the street. > She ran off the neighbors on her other side. They moved (fled) and the house still hasn’t sold. > We’ve known for months that she’s dying of lung cancer. Her husband, who is one of the sweetest people on earth, took total care of her. What we **didn’t** know was that he had lung cancer, too, because everything was all about Joann. > He died two days before Thanksgiving. > We had been waiting for her to die so we could enjoy his company again. He and my husband used to play horseshoes in the side yard, until she put a stop to it. > I was floored and really sad. > He should have at least got a few good years without the witch, to enjoy his life. > Instead, the neighborhood still has The Voice. I re-read this this morning and think I was being mean, myself. But every word is true. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/13 "2011-12-24T04:15:08Z")
**Becky2844** , I don’t think you were being mean. You were being honest. Some neighbors make people nutz enough to kill people. I’ve had bad neighbors in the past. This was the first time that I’ve ever been able to change the way a bad neighbor relates to changes…and it took the Dope and a neighborhood. I asked around and I’m the only one who got a card. The teenagers were very excited for me. They watch too much TV, so think that now I’ll be best buddies with CNL and we will be offering warm, home baked cookies to all the neighborhood kids. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/14 "2011-12-24T04:35:11Z")
_::😊:::_ I am delighted by your news! ( A little stunned anyone would take my advice, usually offered so cavalierly! ) I’m even happy for the CNL! It’s a Christmas miracle! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/15 "2011-12-24T18:19:56Z")
It’s the Christmas who stole the Grinch. Who’da thunk it? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/16 "2011-12-24T19:17:45Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > _::😊:::_ > > I am delighted by your news! > ( A little stunned anyone would take my advice, usually offered so cavalierly! ) > > I’m even happy for the CNL! It’s a Christmas miracle! We didn’t just take your advice, we embraced it. It was pure genius, thank you! The teenagers told everyone. There is a family that lives a couple of streets over, 2 adults and 4 children. I see them walking (and riding bikes and trikes) as a family often. I cracked up when I saw them stop in the street, turn to CNL’s house to wave and shout hello. I thought it was great because what could CNL do if we were annoying her? Call the police and complain that we were all being nice and polite? I think the teenagers loved it because they are nice kids who want to get along with everyone. It truely is a Christmas Miracle 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crazy-neighbor-lady-update/607035/17 "2011-12-24T20:04:06Z")
I’m going to store that advice for future use. Now, for your enjoyment, as things could have been much, much worse: > **[The 7 Most Insane True Stories of Neighbors from Hell](https://www.cracked.com/article_18469_the-7-most-insane-true-stories-neighbors-from-hell.html)** > > You have never truly felt the black flames of the Neighborhood Inferno until you've lived in close proximity to one of these balls of skullduggery.