# Create an absurd Haiku! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Havik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Havik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Havik)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/1 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")
C’mon, yunno ya wanna! Just write anything you want, as long as it follows the basic haiku format. Which is, if I’m not mistaken, a three lined poem broken up into a 5-7-5 syllable format. And, if I am wrong, then CRUD. Examples: The moose has two balls, Not that it matters at all, For he cannot lick! Don’t fret little blonde, A trophy wife you’ll soon make, Wow, thank you, you say? (These were submitted and _allowed_ as suitable examples of poetry in my English class. Go figure.) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PerditaX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@PerditaX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PerditaX)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/2 "2007-04-01T01:40:46Z")
Who is this Shakespeare? ---
**Author:** ![PerditaX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@PerditaX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PerditaX)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/3 "2007-04-01T01:48:56Z")
sorry…hit “enter” too soon, and it wouldn’t let me edit. Here’s what I was trying to do… Who is this Shakespeare? Some say the Earl of Essex Others, F. Bacon. The Earl of Sandwich This led to the B.L.T. Which contains Bacon Absurd enough, Havik? “Much ado about nothing.” About sums this up. 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/4 "2007-04-01T02:14:06Z")
My buttocks has an itch scratch, scratch oooh, yeah. Hey buddy, take a whiff. ---
**Author:** ![Baffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@Baffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baffle)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/5 "2007-04-01T02:28:06Z")
Haikus are easy but sometimes they don’t make sense refrigerator ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/6 "2007-04-01T02:44:18Z")
It was shy yet bold. John saw it and it saw John. Bold yet shy, was it? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/7 "2007-04-01T02:58:08Z")
Lather, rinse, repeat. This is the tao of shampoo. Lather, rinse, repeat. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/8 "2007-04-01T03:04:04Z")
Ignorance is fought Since before the internets Cecil Adams rocks ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/9 "2007-04-01T03:12:28Z")
_The Larry King Haiku_ In Iraq they die by thousands in unjust war, show Anna Nicole _Doper Pedant Haiku_ Pedants of the Dope will know before the conclusion verse two is not right. _The Pit Haiku_ Head is in your ass where a ladle is its friend. Fuck child molesters! ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/10 "2007-04-01T03:19:54Z")
I stare at morning’s White peaks, such mountained distance. My cappuccino. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/11 "2007-04-01T03:29:01Z")
House is on fire now Should I grab cash, checks or porn I chose all the beer Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/12 "2007-04-01T03:39:48Z")
Just a friendly reminder that true haiku are not simply poems with three lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. [See the Wikipedia article on haiku.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku) Outside the bright sun Shines on golfers having fun. Damn calculus test! ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/13 "2007-04-01T04:00:26Z")
Farm exhibition amazes the crowd. Metals on a halftrack plow. sorry ---
**Author:** ![Julius\_Henry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8797f3/32.png) [@Julius\_Henry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Julius_Henry)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/14 "2007-04-01T04:20:00Z")
Window stitch queen fish Paramedic eddy bank Chocolate lobby. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/15 "2007-04-01T04:37:21Z")
“Ook ook!” Banana Librarian’s favorite Unseen peel: oh-oh! ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/16 "2007-04-01T04:48:13Z")
Homeless man naked, I found him in my shower, using my loofah. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/17 "2007-04-01T04:59:45Z")
Five syllables here Seven more go on this line Five more again here ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/18 "2007-04-01T05:21:21Z")
[QUOTE=koeeoaddi] Farm exhibition amazes the crowd. Metals on a halftrack plow. sorry [/QUOTE] Ah, an ounce of allusion is worth a pound of detail. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/19 "2007-04-01T05:39:21Z")
Five hundred titles Why no On the Waterfront When I have Joe Dirt It is one thirty Pelican Brief kind of sucks I will watch it all Natalie Portman Must leave me the hell alone Too needy; blisters. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/20 "2007-04-01T13:50:56Z")
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