# Create an absurd Haiku! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/221 "2007-12-22T20:06:34Z")
Listen up Santa I want my goddamned free beer And I want it now. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2007, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/222 "2007-12-22T20:12:41Z")
Ooh, free beer? Really? Where do I sign up for that? Santa’s lookin’ good! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/223 "2007-12-22T20:57:47Z")
I went to the mall pushed the kids out of the way and said “Beer, Fat Man” ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/224 "2007-12-22T22:11:16Z")
Ethanol you seek but to push the kids away seems pretty naughty. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/225 "2007-12-23T01:45:12Z")
Forgive **Cluricaun** , please, Santa, and don’t leave coal there in his stocking. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/226 "2007-12-23T07:14:43Z")
Out of my way, kids! Lucky I don’t break your legs. Bogartin’ my beer. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/227 "2007-12-23T09:59:54Z")
Get your asses off My muthafuckin’ lawn, you Goddamn punk ass kids! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/228 "2007-12-23T15:25:54Z")
You’re right, it’s not fair so I’ll wait at home instead I’ll just rob Santa. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/229 "2007-12-24T23:38:20Z")
Polymer catfight In the Terrapin Station She’s lost her mind, Bob. ( This _was_ supposed to be absurd Haiku, right? ) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/230 "2007-12-25T09:59:14Z")
Purple banana Fruity oatey bicycle Strange radiation ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/231 "2007-12-26T14:19:26Z")
Just as an update Santas faster than he looks what a mean right hook. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/232 "2008-01-06T22:20:38Z")
Will this be the last haiku in this thread? We’ll see; but I doubt it, friends. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/233 "2008-01-06T23:00:03Z")
No threadkiller you! My posts put people to sleep, forgetting to post. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/234 "2008-01-06T23:06:31Z")
They said that dope could Rot the brain and make you weird Now I know it’s true Curse slow electrons Why so slow? Accelerate Or I’ll pull the plug Force thoughts in haiku Like fat hips into tight jeans Ick. Muffin tops suck ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/235 "2008-01-06T23:10:19Z")
Who opened this thread? You will regret it, I say I’m a word faucet Arctic tourist learns quick the hard way not to drink outdoor lemonade ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/236 "2008-01-06T23:33:59Z")
Lemonade? Surprise! Yellow snow ain’t lemonade! Don’t drink it either. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/237 "2008-01-06T23:38:28Z")
I am the walrus Goo goo g’joob - WTF? The Beatles were stoned. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/238 "2008-01-06T23:47:16Z")
outdoor lemonade in inuktut means snow pee not crunchy green pods The dog barks at night Be still I shout you dumb dog He slinks kennelbound The dog barks at night Bad robber in my car port Be still dog I shout The dog barks at night Bikes gone in morning and I Tell dog I’m sorry Dog barks at night I curse and put my robe on No one in carport ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2008, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/239 "2008-01-07T04:08:49Z")
I’m not quitting now Thought this died sometime last month I’ve got plenty more. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2008, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/240 "2008-01-07T04:10:19Z")
Give us more more more more more more more more more more more, um, I meant less [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=13)