# Create an absurd Haiku! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/341 "2008-04-04T02:30:23Z")
He screws with her head Despite all her best efforts She can’t let him win ! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/342 "2008-04-04T03:54:39Z")
Victory is mine I am relentless at this I will not be stopped. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/343 "2008-04-04T04:03:14Z")
I will post one more Just to ward off Elendil My true nemesis ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/344 "2008-04-04T08:45:17Z")
I will poison your Lemonade, because I choose Random haiku plots ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/345 "2008-04-04T10:48:18Z")
A fellow teacher and I were discussing how teaching is sometimes like a donkey trying to fly. So I composed this for her (on a Friday). Fly, little donkey, Spread wings, escape earth, glide high! Weekend is your sky. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/346 "2008-04-04T11:45:35Z")
I will eat your cat Delicious pet sandwiches Here kitty kitty ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/347 "2008-04-04T14:17:52Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] I will post one more Just to ward off Elendil My true nemesis [/QUOTE] Haiku thread returns Always irresistible Behold, it is I! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/348 "2008-04-04T14:36:33Z")
Doffing my top hat And twirling my long mustache Rats, foiled again. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/349 "2008-04-04T17:11:45Z")
The damn zombie thread, rears yet again it’s ugly head, I wish it was dead! Hey, what if it’s 5-7-5 AND it rhymes, are there bonus points? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/350 "2008-04-04T17:16:44Z")
Eyes of ham salad Brain filled with honey turkey Arise Sandwich Man! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/351 "2008-04-04T17:58:04Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] …Hey, what if it’s 5-7-5 AND it rhymes, are there bonus points? [/QUOTE] Bonus points? Doubtful. Rhyming is irrelevant in any haiku. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/352 "2008-04-04T18:44:05Z")
Age don’t matter, guys. A decade of Viagra, Old Eddy gets the blues. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/353 "2008-04-04T19:13:49Z")
Flitter flitter splat Smashing butterflies in spring Flitter flitter splat. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/354 "2008-04-04T19:33:46Z")
I want to go to the Dells I’m running low on some stuff like new moccasins. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/355 "2008-04-04T20:10:09Z")
the pointless absurd haiku warms the cockles of my flinty cold heart are warm cockles good with plum sauce or mayonnaise? or in a sandwich? dead butterflies lie in heaps. smooshed with warm cockles yum, yum, in my tum ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/356 "2008-04-04T22:17:02Z")
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. They’re like, [“I drink your milkshake.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCCdZmHk5Fk&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/357 "2008-04-04T23:15:33Z")
Brand new gold tooth, see? I’m one bad motherfucker Don’t you mess with me. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/358 "2008-04-04T23:59:30Z")
**Cluricaun** ’s gold tooth fills me with fear and loathing; please, please don’t hurt me! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/359 "2008-04-05T00:03:28Z")
Not to worry my friend That gold tooth is a rental Got to give it back. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/360 "2008-04-05T01:02:52Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Bonus points? Doubtful. Rhyming is irrelevant in any haiku. [/QUOTE] Why’d I even ask? Are you the Haiku Point God? The damn points are mine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=19)