# Create an absurd Haiku! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/361 "2008-04-05T01:06:18Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Why’d I even ask? Are you the Haiku Point God? The damn points are mine. [/QUOTE] The “Haiku Point God”? Why, yes. Yes, I am, and for now, smite thee I shan’t. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/362 "2008-04-05T01:09:47Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] The “Haiku Point God”? Why, yes. Yes, I am, and for now, smite thee I shan’t. [/QUOTE] Ooh, er, um…pardon, I meant what I said in the best possible way! ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/363 "2008-04-05T03:49:43Z")
Not god, but goddess! Smiting is jolly good fun. Shrivel, heretic. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/364 "2008-04-05T04:00:58Z")
Pets fed twice, due to miscommunication. Whoops! Dog is full and smug. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/365 "2008-04-05T04:27:01Z")
Fat dumb happy me! I like donuts and ice cream. And pie, I like pie. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/366 "2008-04-05T18:04:15Z")
Pie is good. Cake? Yup. Chocolate cake is some good. Cookies are good too. Fat is bad, they say. Someone screwed up real big time, Making us like cake. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/367 "2008-04-05T20:35:56Z")
Dude, put that shirt down. It smells like Don Rickles man. Anger and urine. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/368 "2008-04-05T21:52:35Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Fat dumb happy me! I like donuts and ice cream. And pie, I like pie. [/QUOTE] Weebl and Bob are The greatest bards of our time. PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/369 "2008-04-06T16:26:53Z")
I just now woke up Why is there frosting on me? What happened last night? ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/370 "2008-04-06T18:01:44Z")
Cluricaun wonders Why he is frosted. It’s fun To speculate, eh? Is Jacqueline Frost A kewl possibility? Vanilla? Choc’lit? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/371 "2008-04-06T18:53:57Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] I just now woke up Why is there frosting on me? What happened last night? [/QUOTE] Frosting? Er, frosting… That’s what it is, I’m quite sure Don’t taste it! Really! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/372 "2008-04-06T19:30:11Z")
No, it’s \*not \* frosting. Even worse, it is Crisco. I shouldn’t drink rum. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/373 "2008-04-06T19:38:47Z")
You damn sure shouldn’t Drink Crisco, a knife and fork are what you need there. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/374 "2008-04-07T16:51:44Z")
Sword swallowing is Actually much harder than it looks at first. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/375 "2008-04-07T19:50:01Z")
No, it’s easy! Look! Tonight at 11: Man Runs Himself Through, Dies ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/376 "2008-04-07T19:59:22Z")
I should have known it, that Claymores aren’t used for this It poked out my bum. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/377 "2008-04-07T20:05:19Z")
Of claymores, there are Three kinds - basket hilt, two hands, And one that explodes. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/378 "2008-04-07T20:07:48Z")
Well then this one was the two handed Braveheart type It’s stuck, hell now what? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/379 "2008-04-07T20:22:02Z")
Sit down and wiggle. Helps if you used lube at start Have bandaids ready. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/380 "2008-04-07T20:24:58Z")
My band-aid box says “for external use only” Not really helpful. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=20)