# Create an absurd Haiku! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/21 "2007-04-01T13:56:39Z")
Love is the answer Unless you ask the question: How round is the earth? ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/22 "2007-04-01T14:13:02Z")
Telephone game ends: “Purple Monkey Dishwasher.” Teachers’ strike still on. ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/23 "2007-04-01T16:42:33Z")
Sometimes when I fart I am fooled by my bowels Oops, I did a poo ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/24 "2007-04-01T19:29:18Z")
I sometimes have an urge to write a haiku that cuts off in mid-sent ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/25 "2007-04-01T19:31:27Z")
Haiku writer slumps “Cherry blossoms fall,” _again_? Soon he jumps the shark. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/26 "2007-04-01T21:15:01Z")
It’s a strange request: create an absurd Haiku? I can’t think of one. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/27 "2007-04-01T21:25:55Z")
_Haiku of the Tick:_ Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! Spoon! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/28 "2007-04-01T22:53:30Z")
Badger badger bad Ger badger badger badger Mushroom mushroom snake ---
**Author:** ![Havik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Havik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Havik)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/29 "2007-04-01T23:28:59Z")
Haha, you guys are great at this! I say we publish a friggin’ book. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/30 "2007-04-01T23:42:33Z")
See the poodle jump through the flaming hoop – _too high!_ Overachieving burns. === Antidisestab- lishmentarianism: what a lame haiku. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2007, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/31 "2007-04-01T23:58:14Z")
[QUOTE=Only Mostly Dead] Telephone game ends: “Purple Monkey Dishwasher.” Teachers’ strike still on. [/QUOTE] Credit card recieved. Blazing white letters spell out: “Santos L. Halper.” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/32 "2007-04-02T00:08:49Z")
The moon falls slowly over the dusty mountain a lone wolf howls Wait, that wasn’t absurd at all! Let’s try again: A hard tube of flesh ecstasy in a foot long penis and hot dogs ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/33 "2007-04-02T00:44:26Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] Credit card recieved. Blazing white letters spell out: “Santos L. Halper.” [/QUOTE] Bravo. I’ve been checking every time I saw an update, waiting to see if somebody would comment on my entry’s origin. Should have known it’d be **mobo85**. One more Simpsons, I guess. I’ll use my wife’s favorite episode: Chateau Maison wine, give to the donkey? No, Bart. Does it make him blind? (a weak effort, I admit) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/34 "2007-04-02T13:01:00Z")
Watch “Murder She Wrote” I must change channel to see: Ullman’s Simpson’s shorts. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/35 "2007-04-02T13:35:35Z")
Small lump of green putty I found under my left armpit Fish machine parts gone. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Spirit\_of\_Radio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19b73/32.png) [@The\_Spirit\_of\_Radio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Spirit_of_Radio)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/36 "2007-04-02T14:19:09Z")
Flying green chickens squirrels eating minestrone wearing underpants ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/37 "2007-04-02T14:49:41Z")
Unilateral flatware _England wins the Cup The fork and spoon remain Dutch USA has plates._ Haiku dui Mel _I breathe in a tube. Passion. Apocalypto. Jews cause all wars. Hic._ Bush as Marriage Counsellor _Millions are twice wed. Do not re-mar-ry, said Christ. But queers must not wed._ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/38 "2007-04-02T14:59:03Z")
Four windows open Three for Straight Dope, one for porn Multitasking rules! ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/39 "2007-04-02T15:15:01Z")
In an email conversation with my brother, he said something that sounded like a line from Wayne’s World. The response to that line was something like “I think that’s a Haiku”. My brother didn’t get the reference and emailed me back to tell me that it wasn’t a Haiku. I responed with: Poorly Understood My attempt at humor was Like Yoda I sound. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2007, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/40 "2007-04-02T15:29:42Z")
Two Short Haikus about other verse forms _Sex with a bucket. A hung lad from Nantucket. Just does not work well._ _Restrictive and sparse. Cadence is hypnotic, odd. Prefer limericks._ Haiku to another board _Witless and peurile. Snarking anonymously. Get a fucking life._ Haiku to my birthplace _My Weokahatchee. Dead children spin in sunlight. Love and hate you, me._ Haiku to Pollen _Yellow is my car. With rain, sneeze and lemon streams. Natures gold cum shot._ Haiku Malakar _Sanjaya sings Kinks. Little girl cries video tears. Hula from our mind._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=3)