# Create an absurd Haiku! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/381 "2008-04-07T21:04:40Z")
That’s just boilerplate about liability Shove them down your thoat! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/382 "2008-04-07T21:21:20Z")
You’re right me Boyo, I’m fit as a fiddle now. Praise peristalsis. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/383 "2008-04-07T21:23:28Z")
Try from the bottom next time. Better leverage means better results! ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/384 "2008-04-07T21:31:50Z")
Washing down claymores With Crisco? A fool’s game, man. Olive oil is what you need. Next time? Follow wise words From chum Boyo Jim. From his Mouth to your sphincter. Faints. Poor choice, wordwise. Hopes Cluricaun will take As kindly meant, please. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/385 "2008-04-07T21:32:46Z")
So next time I should Grab a handful of Band-Aids Shove them up there? ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/386 "2008-04-07T21:35:03Z")
There are days, like this When the goddam rain pushes Me over the edge. Claustrophobia too much green, the frogs peeping growing stuff smothers ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/387 "2008-04-07T21:39:46Z")
[QUOTE=vison] Claustrophobia too much green, the frogs peeping growing stuff smothers [/QUOTE] Wow, smothered by life? Novel idea to me But I can see it. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/388 "2008-04-07T21:53:48Z")
Wilford Brimley makes His own soap, and it smells like Lisa Kudrow’s feet Stylish girl, but she Left the _Genuine Leather_ Tag on her handbag No one remembers When we defended our land With wood and cloth planes Stop signs were yellow, Mailboxes green, and the rest Of life black and white I don’t read papers Just pick them up to see if The cat’s underneath Why is it true that Interesting people have Such boring pastimes? I go to Starbucks And I’m the only man there Wearing a brown suit ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/389 "2008-04-07T21:57:46Z")
I debauch myself Gin and really smutty books Make me lick your boots. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/390 "2008-04-07T22:48:06Z")
Lick boots? Why, Og, why? They step in things too vile. Give me pie instead. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/391 "2008-04-07T23:34:24Z")
No that’s not my thing I prefer to lick nicer things Like nasty hot stuff ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/392 "2008-04-21T14:58:07Z")
Perforated eye Look out upon peppercorn Burn the retina. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/393 "2008-04-21T18:20:32Z")
So we meet again Haiku thread consumes my mind I knew you’d be back. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/394 "2008-04-21T18:39:27Z")
Hi, Ku. How are you? Fine you say? Well, Ku, me too. Bye, Ku. Take care, now. High Ku shuffles by. Nodding and smiling. No coat, No shoes, in the rain. Oh, Ku. You have no clue How I love you, Ku. See me? Over here? I sigh, Ku. Enough of high Ku, Enough of unloving Ku. I have work to do! ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/395 "2008-04-26T16:58:47Z")
Laminated gods Outreaching into my soul I dare not resist. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/396 "2008-04-29T04:01:14Z")
I go away for a few weeks, and this thread gets even weirder - wow! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/397 "2008-04-29T11:39:26Z")
I breathe the fire Around here Mr. Dragon So fuck off now, ok? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/398 "2008-04-29T20:32:07Z")
Crikeys! You people! I’m haiku overloaded! Please, just shoot me now. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/399 "2008-04-29T20:37:47Z")
No guns are allowed Haiku is it’s own release Surrender to it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/400 "2008-04-29T22:07:58Z")
Surrender my ass! Death would be a victory. Get me outta here! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=21)