# Create an absurd Haiku! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Not\_A\_Tame\_Lion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e36b37/32.png) [@Not\_A\_Tame\_Lion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_A_Tame_Lion)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/81 "2007-04-04T17:32:26Z")
I noticed a shady looking van parked across the street from my office this morning, so maybe I should lay off the A-Team verses. But **SmartAleq** has the right idea anyway: cats and haiku go together so well. The litter box calls sand-filled tub for my business humans hate the stench ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/82 "2007-04-04T18:40:47Z")
A doomsday machine. At least it’s not a death ray, 1920s style. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/83 "2007-04-05T02:14:50Z")
Haiku often is profound in its imagery, less often content ---
**Author:** ![mostlyharmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mostlyharmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mostlyharmless)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/84 "2007-04-05T10:21:59Z")
So my friends and I stoned and bored in college wrote math-themed love haikus The best one was: Oh, you are so prime! You’re only divisible By one, and my rod. Can anyone beat that? ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/85 "2007-04-05T16:34:15Z")
Wow, it stinks in here. Someone ate too many beans. Open the windows! ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/86 "2007-04-05T19:03:29Z")
How about an absurdist Haiku instead? Life has no meaning. Other than what you find in it. So enjoy the ride. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/87 "2007-04-05T19:08:21Z")
Haiku: A form that Is to poetry as tic- Tac-toe is to games ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/88 "2007-04-05T19:10:43Z")
More cat haiku: Feed me, biped slave! I think we know which of us Two is the smarter ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/89 "2007-04-05T21:36:16Z")
[QUOTE=mostlyharmless] So my friends and I stoned and bored in college wrote math-themed love haikus The best one was: Oh, you are so prime! You’re only divisible By one, and my rod. Can anyone beat that? [/QUOTE] Oh, your empty set! Let me fill that void with a Boolean union Laws of math defied! My one goes into your pi More than three-plus times ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/90 "2007-04-05T21:45:22Z")
Many years ago I got deeply into trying to compose some “real” haiku. Before that I dabbled in 17-syllable things for the fun of it. One thing I really wanted to come up with would be a Horror Haiku. Seventeen syllables that really bring about the hair-raising effect of a horror story along the lines of a Lovecraft story. Anybody want to try one of those? No doubt it would have to be absurd to boot. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/91 "2007-04-05T23:09:35Z")
I do wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner I truly wish it. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/92 "2007-04-05T23:45:16Z")
Drink only top-shelf Well whiskey is donkey pee My post is my cite ---
**Author:** ![Not\_A\_Tame\_Lion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e36b37/32.png) [@Not\_A\_Tame\_Lion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_A_Tame_Lion)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/93 "2007-04-05T23:48:20Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] Many years ago I got deeply into trying to compose some “real” haiku. Before that I dabbled in 17-syllable things for the fun of it. One thing I really wanted to come up with would be a Horror Haiku. Seventeen syllables that really bring about the hair-raising effect of a horror story along the lines of a Lovecraft story. Anybody want to try one of those? No doubt it would have to be absurd to boot. 🙂 [/QUOTE] How about: Wayward seafarer one glimpse of dead Cthulhu instantly insane Foolish explorers stumble upon eldritch tomb Old Ones devour souls ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/94 "2007-04-05T23:50:58Z")
Long ‘handles’ are cool Except they can get cut off. -_Don’t fight the hypo…_ ---
**Author:** ![Uri\_Epstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9a140/32.png) [@Uri\_Epstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uri_Epstein)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/95 "2007-04-06T00:05:43Z")
I walked on the grass I have thought of you, darling And then vomited ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/96 "2007-04-06T01:40:34Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] One thing I really wanted to come up with would be a Horror Haiku. [/QUOTE] Her white dress is red, Where a white dress shouldn’t be red, And the screaming stops. – Fingers like black twigs, A bloody mouth pried open, The bags must be filled. – A shadow on the lawn, The sound of the ice-cream man Digging a new hole. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/97 "2007-11-16T20:21:34Z")
Hulk, Thor, Hercules Who’s the Strongest one there is? Too evenly matched 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/98 "2007-11-16T20:37:30Z")
From the eldritch depths Spectre rises, then drops limp: “I shot zombie thread!” ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/99 "2007-11-16T21:17:24Z")
Time to check Straight Dope Waiting, waiting, more waiting Error four oh four ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/100 "2007-11-16T21:19:30Z")
**Autumn Haiku** The trees are on fire. The wind blows. The fire falls down. The ground is on fire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=6)