# Create an absurd Haiku! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254 "2007-04-01T01:36:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/101 "2007-11-16T21:45:03Z")
There’s work to be done But my PC offers Dope Damn my addiction! ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/102 "2007-11-16T22:08:55Z")
One two three four five, Six seven eight nine ten el even twelve thirteen. I have a headache. In the corpus callosum? No, it’s the cortex. Feed me some honey Bees do all the work, you know, And it’s such sweet goo. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/103 "2007-11-16T22:10:56Z")
Mushroom Pizzas - Yum! Now head dogtalk the fleagrade. Shoehorn butterhorse. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/104 "2007-11-17T00:50:17Z")
Evoke an image Syllable counting’s easy Wipe it off and zip ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/105 "2007-11-17T04:04:06Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] Many years ago I got deeply into trying to compose some “real” haiku. Before that I dabbled in 17-syllable things for the fun of it. One thing I really wanted to come up with would be a Horror Haiku. Seventeen syllables that really bring about the hair-raising effect of a horror story along the lines of a Lovecraft story. Anybody want to try one of those? No doubt it would have to be absurd to boot. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Dread Cthulhu rises In His eyes, He is Orkin We are the termites ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/106 "2007-11-17T04:11:51Z")
Azathoth gibbers In the void between spaces Not scary, just weird Eldritch lore teaches Black and legend-haunted tomes Should not be Xeroxed Ia! Shub-Niggurath! Black Goat With a Thousand Young! Yew are such a hoor! Yog-Sothoth gets some Wilbur Whately has a twin Who favors his Pa Spirit of the Air! You must never speak the name Of the dread Hast ---
**Author:** ![Dahnlor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dahnlor/32/533_2.png) [@Dahnlor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dahnlor)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/107 "2007-11-17T04:24:05Z")
I was gonna post that Steve Howe is the greatest in another thread ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/108 "2007-11-17T06:52:09Z")
i try to write a poem. i try to write a poem. i try to. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/109 "2007-11-18T02:53:44Z")
As haikus often note the transitory nature of things, I offer these two cheesy reminiscences of my late 89 toyota, and the saturn sedan which, apparently, could not live without it: Truck seems immortal Snow and ice without rust check Frame rusts all away As soon as I leave Saturn commits seppuku Spouse must buy new car ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/110 "2007-11-19T17:57:24Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] In Great Debates Disagree at length, with cites No judge, no winner [/QUOTE] With apologies to _The Office_ Great Debates, he says hath no winners or losers. No. There are losers. ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/111 "2007-11-19T18:08:59Z")
Hippopotamus Antihippopotamus Annihilation ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/112 "2007-11-19T18:10:00Z")
Thanksgiving draws near We’re off to Vermont with kids; More pumpkin pie? Please! Presidential jousts Already weary me; still, I back Obama. Here I am at work, Yet again the Dope distracts; Good times, man… good times. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/113 "2007-11-19T18:13:04Z")
[QUOTE=fighting ignorant] Hippopotamus Antihippopotamus Annihilation [/QUOTE] “Hippopotamus” Is already five Syllables; oh my! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/114 "2007-11-19T18:26:00Z")
For **Zeldar** , some Horror Haiku: Hot teens in cabin Have sex? Sure, but then I will Kill you all with knife. Cute blonde embezzler Checks right into Bates Motel Why not take a… bath? Freddy Krueger was Not a nice man when alive; Dead, he’s even worse. Some friendly advice: Don’t buy houses built atop Old Indian graves. Looks like a nice car, But _Consumer Reports_ would Never praise Christine. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/115 "2007-11-19T19:07:35Z")
Here, Mr. sock puppet hand Taste these here delicious chips I will lick you clean. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/116 "2007-11-19T20:00:41Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Here, Mr. sock puppet hand Taste these here delicious chips I will lick you clean. [/QUOTE] 7-7-5? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/117 "2007-11-20T14:40:01Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] 7-7-5? [/QUOTE] Shite. I get a little excited from time to time. Let’s try again: Guess what Mr. Whipple? I am squeezing the Charmin. What’cha gonna do? ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/118 "2007-11-20T16:58:46Z")
Particles collide Creating mini-black holes And urine-soaked pants ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/119 "2007-11-21T01:37:45Z")
Alas, actor who Played Mr. Whipple has now Squeezed his last Charmin. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254/120 "2007-11-22T15:56:24Z")
I came back to say To all of my Doper friends Happy Thanksgiving! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-an-absurd-haiku/398254.md?page=7)