# Create the All-Dreamy Baseball Teamy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423 "2001-04-26T17:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/1 "2001-04-26T17:00:00Z")
So since we have been getting the Extra Innings package on DirecTV, I’ve been watching a lot more baseball lately. And during the lulls in play, I’ve been watching a lot more baseball players lately. Lemme tell you something, there are a lot of eminently straddleworthy ballplayers out there. I commented to my boyfriend that Mark Grace is the lynchpin in my team…my dreamy team, that is. And thus sprang the idea of my personal Dreamy Teamy. Here’s what I propose, for starters: **P:Greg Maddux** , Atlanta Braves. I just love the professorial look he has with his glasses on. When he opens his mouth, it’s another story…but hey, this is about looks, and he’s a cutie. **C: Javy Lopez** , Atlanta Braves. I loves me some Latin boys, and he’s as cute as they come. **1B:** Duh. **Mark Grace** , Arizona D-Backs (sob). I would have asked him to go to my prom. How can I make him love me? [sub](Even if he is getting sorta leathery, I still love him)[/sub] \*\*2B: \*\*Having trouble here. **3B: Johnny Damon** , Oakland A’s. Have you seen this guy? Holy shit! **Robin Ventura** , NY Met, former White Sock, also is worth mentioning. **SS:** I’ll go with the crowd here and say **Derek Jeter** , Yankees. But **Barry Larkin** of Cincy is easy on the eyes as well. **RF: Dave Martinez** , Atlanta Braves. Okay, he’s another holdover as a former Cub (and White Sock) but objectively speaking, he is so boneable as to defy explanation. **CF: Ken Griffey, Jr.** , Cincinnati Reds. He’s a wholesome-looking guy. And for the AL fans… **DH: David Justice** , NY Yankees. Hm. Reviewing this, I see the team is awfully Atlanta-heavy. This displeases me. So, step up to the plate! Add your dreamy boys of summer to a very…special…fantasy league. Ohhhh yeah. ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/2 "2001-04-26T17:13:46Z")
Great choices Gundy! To tip the scales towards current/former Cubs players, might I suggest **Ryne Sandberg** for second base. Yes, I know he’s retired, but he came out of retirement once, he can do it again. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/3 "2001-04-26T17:31:42Z")
Thanks, **monster**! I was thinking about current players, although Ryno is a li’l cutie. And before anyone corrects me, Johnny Damon plays outfield. Sorry. Also, NL, AL, it’s all good. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/4 "2001-04-26T17:58:56Z")
Gundy, although he currently plays SS, **Rafael Furcal** of my beloved Braves is also a hottie. And he plays 2B as well. The hair alone should qualify him. 3B Chipper Jones should do you well (he’s done other women well . . . ), and CF Andrus Jones . . . . ::lost in dream world:: BTW, Dave Justice used to play for the Braves. Hit the game-winning homerun in Game 6 of the 1995 World Series, in fact. Where was I? Oh yeah . . . GO Braves! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/5 "2001-04-26T18:05:19Z")
GOTTA include Brady Anderson. Yummy. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/6 "2001-04-26T18:12:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > \*\*GOTTA include Brady Anderson. Yummy. \*\* I am, in fact, currently in the process of compiling a list of the Top 10 Reasons Why I Should Have Brady Anderson’s Baby. So, yes, Brady MUST be included. BradyBradyBradyBradyBrady…mmmmmmmmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/7 "2001-04-26T18:15:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > **Gundy** , although he currently plays SS, **Rafael Furcal** of my beloved Braves is also a hottie. And he plays 2B as well. The hair alone should qualify him. Oh my yes. Excellent choice. What’s up with all the studmuffins at SS? \*\* > [@](#): > > 3B Chipper Jones should do you well (he’s done other women well . . . ), and CF Andrus Jones . . . . ::lost in dream world::\*\* Gotta disagree with you on Chipper. His face grosses me out. Plus I have it on good authority that he’s a big moist turd, personality-wise. Andruw Jones, however, is pretty dang adorable. \*\* > [@](#): > > Where was I? Oh yeah . . . GO Braves! \*\* Gee, and you seemed like such a nice guy. There’s no accounting for taste, huh. I’m just kidding! Put the gun down! **Falcon** wrote: > [@](#): > > \*\*GOTTA include Brady Anderson. Yummy. \*\* Nice! Heartily agreed! ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/8 "2001-04-26T22:22:16Z")
Any good baseball team is going to need a closer. I nominate [Trevor Hoffman](http://padres.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/sd/team/sd_player_bio.jsp?club_context=sd&playerid=116034). This picture doesn’t really capture the full essense, since you can’t see his legs and ass in their full glory straining through his baseball pants. :: wipes perspiration off forehead :: As for second base, I’d like to nominate, especially when he smiles, the damn cutie, [Damian Jackson](http://padres.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/sd/team/sd_player_bio.jsp?club_context=sd&playerid=116423). I know, I know, 2 Padres. But since we’re a small market team, I figured no one else would enter this thread and give 'em their props. I’m also fond of El Duque in a strange, exotic, he speaks little English sort of way. No need to converse with these Dreamy Team members, right? Phew. I love baseball. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/9 "2001-04-26T22:31:51Z")
Hell, we need a whole rotation and subs. P Pedro Martinez. Dude, the guy’s cute. RP Sidney Ponson. Guy’s got an ass. That’s all I have to say. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/10 "2001-04-26T23:16:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Geobabe \* > \*\*I am, in fact, currently in the process of compiling a list of the Top 10 Reasons Why I Should Have Brady Anderson’s Baby. So, yes, Brady MUST be included. > > BradyBradyBradyBradyBrady…mmmmmmmmmmmm… \*\* Yeah, I figured it would either be you or me posting his name, Geo. Only reason I enjoy watching baseball. mmmmmm…can I borrow him for like one day? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/11 "2001-04-26T23:39:43Z")
:sigh: as a **real** baseball fan, I thought this was for listing who who be on your all-star team or something. Carry on with the drooling. And I’m not sure how cute you’ll think he is, but Roberto Alomar is a hell of a 2nd baseman. Also for your outfield, Jim Edmonds and JD Drew seem to inspire a lot of drooling around here, as does Cardinal pitcher Rick Ankiel. Just some suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/12 "2001-04-27T02:08:47Z")
Another real baseball fan checking in. At 2nd Base you should include **Craig Biggio** of the Astros. Not only is he an awsome second basemen, a wonderful provider for the community (does a lot of work for the Make a Wish Foundation), he is amazingly cute as well. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/13 "2001-04-27T02:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Geobabe \* > > \*\*I am, in fact, currently in the process of compiling a list of the Top 10 Reasons Why I Should Have Brady Anderson’s Baby. So, yes, Brady MUST be included. > > > > BradyBradyBradyBradyBrady…mmmmmmmmmmmm… \*\* > > Yeah, I figured it would either be you or me posting his name, Geo. Only reason I enjoy watching baseball. mmmmmm…can I borrow him for like one day? 🙂 \*\* Well…I suppose. There’s enough Brady to go around, I think. Oh, and second on my list, a man I would be stalking today if only [expletive deleted] Peter Angelos hadn’t let him go, would be **Rafael Palmeiro**. Slurp. He’s not a bad player either. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/14 "2001-04-27T02:26:11Z")
Warming the bench (or other things), most likely, but should be there: Chuck Knoblauch And that Shinjasomething guy. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/15 "2001-04-27T02:54:37Z")
You people suck. Was Babe Ruth easy on the eyes? Is Pudge Rodrigez sponge-worthy? How many times did Ty Cobb have to wait until closing before somebody found him shagadelic? Besides, even Johnny Damon’s mother thinks he’s one ugly s.o.b. Just tale a look: [http://espn.go.com/mlb/profiles/profile/5484.html](http://espn.go.com/mlb/profiles/profile/5484.html) Good god, I actually entered this thread trying to figure out who I would put at each starting position if I was the manager of an all-powerful baseball team. Here’s who I came up with. Active players only 1-9, as of the 2001 season. **P: Randy Johnson.** Yeah, Pedro’s got the better ERA, but I want a pitcher who _looks_ like a fastball at the head would kill you on the spot. Pedro’s fastball could probably kill you too, but a starting pitcher should never look like he might have a good-natured laugh with you when he looks you back for taking a lead off first base. **C: Ivan Rodriguez**. Piazza’s got a better lifetime slugging percentage, but he’s getting old and frail and won’t last much longer. Pudge smacks the hell out of the ball, he’s incredibly durable, missing the second half of last season only because somebody hit him with a bat. Plus, he’s the best defensive catcher of the last 20 years. Just ask Ichiro Suzuki. **1B: Jason Giambi**. If Big Mac had a prayer of staying healthy, I’d take him in a heartbeat. But Giambi’s got incredible power, excellent strike zone judgment, and durability to die for. Too bad the rest of the A’s are reverting to AAA form this year. **2b: Craig Biggio**. There aren’t a lot of great second basemen around the majors, but Biggio is as close as it gets. **SS: Alex Rodriguez**. I’d actually pick Garciaparra for his extra power, but the injured wrist ends that thought in a hurry. A-Rod’s got the power, the defense, and the charisma. Jeter’s real good at hitting singles. Wanna bet whose zillion-dollar contract is still going to look like a smart move for the club in five years? **3b: Chipper Jones**. Another ugly s.o.b., but a great all-around player. **RF: Manny Ramirez**. Juan Gonzalez is looking like he might have a monster year. Manny’s playing like he has something to prove. Be afraid, Yankees fans. **CF: Bernie Williams**. God I hate the freakin’ Yankees. But this guy’s consistently solid and plays every damn day. Satan owns his soul due to the Yankees connection, but I want him in Center until the brimstone catches up with him and Steinbrenner. **LF: Barry Bonds**. The man is Willie Mays’ godson. It shows. And if that team doesn’t scare you, go back to watching soccer. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/16 "2001-04-27T03:00:05Z")
A pitcher that my Mom (age 74) and I have drooled over is [Ismael Valdes](http://angels.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/ana/team/ana_player_bio.jsp?club_context=ana&playerid=123595) 1st: Mo Vaughn – even though he is injured, I have a soft spot for a big muscular man, mmmmm. For outfield gotta go with [Garret Anderson](http://angels.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/ana/team/ana_player_bio.jsp?club_context=ana&playerid=110236) Maybe that is why I am an Angels fan, it’s not that the stadium is 20 minutes from home, it’s that I lust after the players. Ah **Minty Green** , Ivan Rodriguez is a cutie–admit it, you only added him to your team cause ya like him. And Jason Giambi, wowsa. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/17 "2001-04-27T03:02:57Z")
HELLO! It says “All-Dreamy” right there in the title! That, to me, implied we would be choosing players based on attributes other than their stats before I even opened it the first time. Maybe guys just don’t use the term “dreamy” or something, but criminy! Quit coming in here and complaining because it’s not what you expected! You want a “real” baseball thread, get outta here and go start one of your own! Back to drooling now. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/18 "2001-04-27T03:34:14Z")
Sorry for starting my post with a gripe, but I thought the “All-Dreamy Baseball Teamy” was just a cute way to say “Baseball Dream Team” At least I offered up some Cardinal meat for your drooling pleasure (if you chose to drool over them that is). ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/19 "2001-04-27T04:23:55Z")
The presence of any hotties on my dream team is entirely coincidental, **deb**. But my sister thinks Gabe Kapler has an ass to die for, which is why I’m usually stuck in the outfield at the Ballpark. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/20 "2001-04-27T07:17:18Z")
Dante Bichette [http://espn.go.com/mlb/profiles/profile/4159.html](http://espn.go.com/mlb/profiles/profile/4159.html) (and this is actually one of his better pictures) OK, it’s because he makes me look not unattractive by comparison. Hey, what can I add?? 😕 I’m a heterosexual guy…um, Ed Sprague has a hot looking wife… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423.md?page=2)